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70 of 75 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
What it is, what is is not!, May 26, 2004
Important that while many recommend this book as self help such as myself it is important to make a few distinctions. Most self help today is pep talk with a few tips here and there but mostly nice stories that can help you "feel nice" and believe in yourself. This is somewhat differant. This maybe described by some to be a users manual for your brain. The science is derived from "modeling" the communication, verbal and non-verbal, of people who have been highly effective in communication and/or creating change. The science is new and to some that can be less than encouraging, however, having been a skeptic once I will say, IT WORKS! All this book is, is a toolbox, nothing more, of tools. If you do not use the tools, if you do not allow yourself to try new ideas, then this will serve as nothing more than exposure to a growing science. If you do choose to practice these tools, they may not be the most important things that you ever learn in your life, but you may find that they can have a very strong positive impact. Here are some applications:Learn about subconscious communication which may help you rethink some of the things you say in order to deliver the intended message or to read what others are thinking. This requires a little practice and understand of verbal negation. Discover a model which I can only describe as a model for inner peace. No, it does not tell you how to do this, it may not even describe it as inner peace but if you have knowledge about happiness philosophy it will make sense. Read the chapter on congruency, I find it inspiring. Pacing and leading, this will change the way you see what it is to communicate with someone and how interesting a person can become when you first meet them and they tell you, and I get this all the time, "I feel like I've known you forever". That's because I'm modeling what a person does when they are comfortable with someone and have known them for awhile. Believe it or not, you will learn so much about people just by understanding their values, "trance words" or the words they use to describe their stronger feelings, "representational system" visual, audio, kinesthetic, etc., that with some practice you might find that yourself blown away by the results of your higher order communication. These are a few applications to a few of the tools I use often and this is actually excerped from another review on a time management book where I recommend Intro to NLP and give insight on application: "Allow your actions become congruent with your values, belief, purpose, whatever. I'm not religious myself but I imagine this can make things a little easier. It discusses "congruency" in a clear concise fashion that will be motivating in itself it's called the Dilt's model I believe. Essentially, if you understand what you want (may require some introspection, you maybe surprised how much we can learn by having a little internal dialog with ourselves) and measure all aspects of it's value relative to you, make some goals, short term, mid term and long term. Simple so far? Okay, to begin everyday, spend time planning your day in a way that reflects your values, i.e. your goals. Every time your doing something, anything, understand why your doing it, why it has value. This book will teach you to "anchor" your goal and it's attached value that it has, to everything you do, down to your valuable leisure time and taking out the trash. Done consistently over a period of time, and this may allow you to reframe the way you think about your opportunities to accomplish your goals how easy it is to "feel good" about your daily routine. Once you do this, which may require you step a little outside your comfort zone, you may find how easy it is to begin to be proactive in all aspects of your life leading ultimately to personal success." Anyway, these are tools, and if your like me you may be less than fortunate and require someone to recommend this book in order to actually apply the tools but if you can be open minded you might find as I have that it's the book you will recommend more than any other to people you know. actually excerped from another review on a time management book where I recommend Intro to NLP: Allow your actions become congruent with your values, belief, purpose, whatever. I'm not religious myself but I imagine this can make things a little easier. It discusses "congruency" in a clear concise fashion that will be motivating in itself it's called the Dilt's model I believe. Essentially, if you understand what you want (may require some introspection, you maybe surprised how much we can learn by having a little internal dialog with ourselves) and measure all aspects of it's value relative to you, make some goals, short term, mid term and long term. Simple so far? Okay, to begin everyday, spend time planning your day in a way that reflects your values, i.e. your goals. Every time your doing something, anything, understand why your doing it, why it has value. This book will teach you to "anchor" your goal and it's attached value that it has, to everything you do, down to your valuable leisure time and taking out the trash. Done consistently over a period of time, and this may allow you to reframe the way you think about your opportunities to accomplish your goals how easy it is to "feel good" about your daily routine. Once you do this, which may require you step a little outside your comfort zone, you may find how easy it is to begin to be proactive in all aspects of your life leading ultimately to personal success.
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by NLP Comprehensive
by Robert Mandelberg
See all 11 books citing this book
