Consensual Sadomasochism : How to Talk About It and How to Do It Safely (Paperback)

by William A. Henkin (Author), Sybil Holiday (Author) "I remember coming to my senses in the middle of a night lit only by the yellow glow from my Pluto lamp: not Pluto, Lord..." (more)
Key Phrases: standing bondage, genital bondage, gagged person, San Francisco, Personal Ads, Society of Janus (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Review
Consensual Sadomasochism is one of my regular resources for sparks of inspiration and insight. -- Fetish Diva Midori, author of The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage

Their useful book is precise and clearheaded in all things SM. -- Mark Thompson, editor of Leatherfolk

Without doubt, one of the finest and most useful books on SM ever written. -- Guy Baldwin, M.S., author of Ties That Bind and Slavecraft

Product Description
Easy to read, easy to follow, and easy to understand, in this book the authors define and demystify the unique language of consensual sadomasochism, examine the psychological power of erotic dominance and submission, provide a carefully considered guide for safe SM play, and explain how SM can be an activity of intense intimacy and sophisticated erotic theater, as well as one of simple sexual pleasure. Combining their extensive professional credentials with deep personal experience, the result is an original introduction to a widely misunderstood realm of human sexuality.

"Henkin and Holiday have done erotic explorers a wonderful favor. Their useful book is concise and clearheaded in all things SM. But the most radical concept for many will surely be the notion to simply have fun." - Mark Thompson, editor of Leatherfolk

I've actually recomended this book more often than my own. That's because you're holding what is without doubt, one of the finest and most useful books on BDSM ever written. It can help you distinguish between looking and seeing. Not for skimmers........this one is soul food. - Guy Baldwin, M.S. author of TIES THAT BIND and SlaveCraft

Henkin and Holiday offer a very useful book about BDSM for mainly beginners in the scene but also for anyone who just like staying on top of opinions about BDSM. The book is well organized with a glossary right after a good discussion of special terms used in BDSM. Likewise sample negotiation forms are found at the end of the chapter where the procedure is explained. The largest section of the book concerns safety but not necessarily the kind you might find in "On the Safe Edge" or "Learning the Ropes". Here the focus is on learning about yourself first, learning about your partner second, and then how to explore BDSM. Throughout the idea that BDSM is primarily a pleasureable partnership is embraced and indeed in my personal experiences the best SM or Ds relationships are partnerships. Neither Henkin nor Holiday say that their way is the only way but they give solid reasons for their opinions and make suggestions based on years in the scene and as scholars and educators. This is definately a book I have proud to have in my library and one I recommend to people new to BDSM. - TammyJo Eckhart from kinkybooks.com

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Product Details

• Paperback: 264 pages
• Publisher: Daedalus Publishing Company (September 1996)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1881943127
• ISBN-13: 978-1881943129
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.5 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #354,294 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

44 of 46 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Interesting Look at SM, May 14, 2000

By	Todd Hawley (San Francisco CA) - See all my reviews (TOP 500 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)

This book is written by two experienced SM practioners, one who is a psychotherapist, and the other a sexologist. The first chapter of the book tells how they both got interested in SM.

There are a number of "introductory SM books" on the market now and what I like about the well-written ones is they way they handle basic SM topics. This book is no exception to this rule.

It not only covers common SM topics, such as "playing safely" (with detailed descriptions of playing with various SM "toys), but also contains sections on who you should or shouldn't play with, and also contains a book, magazine and online resource section.

I loved the glossary of SM terms contained in the book and their chapter on "Defining and Demystifying the Language." They also call make a point to define the difference between consensual play and abuse.

I also liked their section called "On Doing Psychotherapy in the Dungeon." They point out SM can be therapeutic, but not to do actual "therapy" in play. Good point!

A well-written book with lots of good information.

33 of 35 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Simple language serves up reality for beginners, May 22, 2001

By	TammyJo Eckhart "TammyJo Eckhart" (Bloomington, Indiana United States) - See all my reviews (TOP 500 REVIEWER)

Henkin and Holiday offer a very useful book about BDSM for mainly beginners in the scene but also for anyone who just like staying on top of opinions about BDSM. The book is well organized with a glossary right after a good discussion of special terms used in BDSM. Likewise sample negotiation forms are found at the end of the chapter where the procedure is explained. The largest section of the book concerns safety but not necessarily the kind you might find in "On the Safe Edge" or "Learning the Ropes". Here the focus is on learning about yourself first, learning about your partner second, and then how to explore BDSM. Throughout the idea that BDSM is primarily a pleasureable partnership is embraced and indeed in my personal experiences the best SM or Ds relationships are partnerships. Neither Henkin nor Holiday say that their way is the only way but they give solid reasons for their opinions and make suggestions based on years in the scene and as scholars and educators. This is definately a book I have proud to have in my library and one I recommend to people new to BDSM.

16 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Beautifully Done!!, December 18, 2001

By A Customer

Written by two long time members of the SM community, Consensual Sadomasochism offers a great "intro" to consensual power exchange play. The authors display a considerable breadth of knowledge and a wonderfully tolerant and open attitude toward all forms of BDSM play. The book is easy to read and follow and covers SM "basics," including fundamental concepts like safe words, limits, negotiation, and consent. The book contains good, if somewhat limited, descriptions of basic SM play (bondage, spanking, clamps, etc). There is also a good section on finding partners and how to find the SM community, along with a bibliography.

The authors did a wonderful job putting this book together.