Her Hand in Marriage: Biblical Courtship in the Modern World (Paperback)

by Douglas Wilson (Author) "Courtship is of interest to everyone..." (more)
Key Phrases: God's Word, Lord God, Word of God

Editorial Reviews

Product Description
The modern dating system is bankrupt. It does not train young people to form a relationship but rather to form a series of relationships, hardening themselves to all but the current one. Recreational dating encourages emotional attachments without covenantal fences and makes a joke of a father's authority. The disrespect children have for their fathers in this area is an echo of the disrespect fathers have for their own office.

Biblical courtship provides a wonderful freedom. It involves familial wisdom and godly protection. Grounded upon the involved authority of the father, courtship delights in its public connection to the lives of families. Sexual purity is a great inheritance for a marriage, and part of a father's job is to guarantee and protect that heritage.

Biblical courtship is a humble affront to the sterility of modern relationships. And as a new generation rejoices in this ancient wisdom, the current waves of broken relationships will begin to recede.

About the Author
Douglas Wilson is pastor of Christ Church, Moscow, Idaho, and editor of Credenda/Agenda magazine. He is the author of Recovering the Lost Tools of Learning and a contributor to Back to Basics: Rediscovering the Richness of the Reformed Faith.

Product Details

• Paperback: 95 pages
• Publisher: Canon Press; 1 edition (April 1, 1997)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1885767269
• ISBN-13: 978-1885767264
• Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.5 x 0.3 inches
• Shipping Weight: 5.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (23 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #102,616 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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  #35 in	Books > Religion & Spirituality > Christianity > Christian Living > Relationships > Dating & Single Life
  #88 in	Books > Health, Mind & Body > Relationships > Dating

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

33 of 36 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The best book on this subject!, February 8, 1999

By A Customer

This book should be read by every Christian parent, young man, and young woman. It sets forth the Biblical basis for courtship in a very readable, clear, concise manner. Wilson lays down the basic principles behind Biblical courtship--a godly young man building a relationship with the father of the godly young woman he wants to marry. If the young man is suitable to the father and the young woman, the father gives him permission to court her under the oversight of her parents with the full intention and express purpose of marrying her. Wilson does not present courtship as a magic formula for marital bliss or a legalistic ritual that automatically guarantees success. He clearly emphasizes the fact that the principles are more important than the methods, and that appropriate methods (which do not have to be uniform for every couple) will follow if the principles are taken seriously. The model Wilson sets forth is a manner of getting a wife which is actually Biblical, respectable, courteous, and honoring to parents rather than the more common (though also more recent) idea of dating. It takes into full account the Biblical teaching that a particular woman is to be under the authority of a particular man (first her father, then her husband). Gender roles are further emphasized in the fact that sons are raised up to leave home, and daughters are raised up to be given away in marriage--to depend upon, and be a helpmeet to, a godly man. Having been in a courtship for four months now, I recommend Wilson's book without reservation

22 of 23 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Godly Advice on Courtship in the Modern World, November 20, 2002

By	Jessica S. "pilgrimsprogress dot net" (California) - See all my reviews

This book provides helpful insight into a godly way of courtship in the modern world. At a mere 95 pages, it is a relatively thin book but the size is deceiving. Doug Wilson is an eloquent and persuasive writer who wastes no words and shares godly advices on: preparing for courtship, qualities to consider in a mate, things to consider that would affect the relationship in marriage, criteria and principles of courtship, the parents' authority, etc.

The appendix titled "The Garden" (a story of a girl "tending her own garden") is brilliantly written! It is an allegory that powerfully illustrates the significance or virtue of purity, and compellingly encourages readers to keep themselves pure prior to marriage.

Some may believe not everything in this book is practical (especially if the parents are non-Christians or perhaps refuse to participate). While that may be true, I think the main thrust and focus of this book should really be more on principles rather than following a one-size-fits-all method of application, and as such there's much that can be gleaned from the book.

[Please note this review reflects my opinions only toward this book, and not necessarily my agreement with the author's controversial views on theological issues like "baptismal regeneration," "federal vision," etc.]

20 of 21 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Biblical principles, practical applications, August 29, 2002

By	Joshua M. Clark (Everett, WA USA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This book is my favorite on the topic of courtship. At first I was displeased with Mr. Wilson's writing style, but as I progressed through the book, the clarity and eloquence of his writing really hit home. The sheer beauty of this book is quite a wonderful tribute to the glories of courtship, and is worth reading merely for the delightful phraselogy.

But the greatest thing about this book is, of course, the content. Doug understands that the whole dating vs. courtship debate has largely been kept to the mere level of terms, instead of hashing out the underlying principles. So in <i>Her Hand in Marriage</i>, he first outlines the Bible's teaching on a proper path to marriage, and then he tentatively labels this system Biblical courtship. He recognizes that what is traditionally labeled dating has many success stories, and likewise, what is traditionally labeled courtship has many horror stories. This is why he wants to keep the debate to the fundamentals, and then wisdom can be shown no matter what you call the system.

One of the key Biblical principles Doug lays out in his book is the authority of the father in the courtship process. The father, he shows through a thorough study of Old Testament passages, is responsible to protect his daughter by acting as a sieve of sorts that young men must go through before courting his daughter. Fools who might otherwise pressure his daughter to go out with them are stopped cold before they even get a chance to mess around with her. And once a proper fellow is allowed to court his daughter, the father can offer a sense of accountability so that couples in their passion might not do something they would later regret.

After a chapter on this point, Doug then covers the different roles of boys and girls in courtship, with the boys initiating everything and the girls responding to the initiation. He shows that a great thing about courtship is that young couples are more accountable to keep their eyes on the intended culmination of marriage, rather than merely enjoying the journey. And he covers miscellaneous details such as what criteria to use when selecting a spouse, what the governmental implications of marriage are, and how weddings should be conducted.

While the book may not be directly practical to moderners, the principles discussed make the book a worthwhile purchase. Once you get the fundamental ideas ingrained within you, God will give you wisdom to apply them to whatever situation you are in.

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