Most Helpful Customer Reviews
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24 of 24 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
A practical survival guide to communicating with humans., August 13, 2001
By A Customer
The book provides a person with my background (a science nerd turned into a hi-tech manager) well founded, well explained and 100% scientific approach to business communications. It teaches HOW to take 100% responsibility for listening and speaking. It is easy to advice not to react emotionally to what other person says, and everybody does it in their books. In contrast, this book teaches techniques that make emotional reaction unnecessary, without any artificial self control. When reading this book I realized that emotions in response to what others say result from the lack of the kind of analysis the author suggests to do: evaluate the message as being valid/invalid, conversation as being equal/unequal, always know where you are in any conversation. Making this analysis a habit accomplishes two goals: it makes clear and explicit (illuminates) what is actually going on, and moves you to the analytical kind of reaction instead of emotional. The book helped me to realize that emotions often result from the fear similar to the fear people experience in a dark maze. The analysis presented in the book results in always knowing where you are in a conversation, illuminates the maze, and removes the fear and all associated emotions. The author also provides clear guidance and scripts for what to do and what not to do when listening, which also builds confidence and thus lowers the emotion. In the section on speaking I liked the classification of speaking (coaching, declarations), the structured approach to speaking, and examples and scripts that are provided. I found it helpful to always know what you are doing when speaking. Then I can take control, and take the 100% responsibility for the outcome. The conversation management techniques (goals, time, exits, getting attention and commitments) are also invaluable. Reading the book had immediate effect on all of my relationships (I have a wife, three kids, a job and a lot of friends).
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20 of 20 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Speaking in a world of no listeners...., September 4, 1999
By A Customer
This book is a godsend! Where was Delisser when I needed him? Thankfully I found both Delisser and his book recently and it has definately changed my outlook on communications. The book is focused on two issues: listening and speaking. There are several drills which the reader will find very helpful to changing his or her views on the process of communication.One of the best chapters is titled "How to be effective in a world of no listeners" (which could have been an alternate title for this book) The concept is deceptively simple: we must take 100% responsibility for making sure people understand our message, no matter how poorly they listen. Delisser's book shows the reader the fundamentals, drills them extensively, and makes the overall process enlightening and entertaining.
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10 of 10 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Eye-opening, practical, and powerful, July 31, 1999
This book is terrific! It describes, simply and practically, ways people communicate, and ways to be more effective. I recognized myself and others, and learned approaches that seemed "too easy" to work, yet they do! deLisser describes an easy-to-use framework for communicating, that can help everyone at work and at home! My wife liked these techniques so much she started using them, also. I buy this book for everyone I know who gets a new job!
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