Anger Busting 101: The New ABC's for Angry Men & the Women Who Love Them (Paperback)

by Newton Hightower (Author) "In the mid-1980s John Bradshaw, author of Healing the Shame That Binds You, wrote about ""rageaholics,"" those of us who are addicted to anger and..." (more)
Key Phrases: rage problems, stop telling yourself, anger problem, Pit Bull, Alcoholics Anonymous, Gray Kitty (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal
Both of these titles address the destructive potential of men's anger and present step-by-step methods to effect positive behavioral changes. In Dealing with Your Anger (first published in Australia but edited for an American audience), Donovan, a psychotherapist and director of the Anger Clinic in Melbourne, offers a self-help resource that is also designed for practitioners in one-on-one or group therapy sessions. Using his many years of clinical experience with angry men and his own personal struggle with anger and a potential for violence, Donovan shares sensible procedures for understanding, reducing, and eliminating anger. He covers anger's definition, anger sources, emotional strategies for healing anger, practical ways of controlling anger, and positive uses for anger. Also included are Assistive Guidelines for Practitioners and an extensive notes section. Hightower, a licensed psychotherapist and director of the Center for Anger Resolution, Inc., in Houston, presents a highly practical and easy-to-follow guide for managing anger problems. Anger Busting 101 uses the author's Recovery Approach, which gives pointers for diffusing anger before it gets to the boiling point. This method debunks the psychological myth that stifling anger will hurt you. Hightower combines his personal experience, his clients' personal stories, and scientific research to support his methods for handling anger. His ABCs are Abstain from certain behavior and phrases; Believe in the principles for peace, happiness, and permanent change; and Communicate with new phrases. Donovan's guide is more complicated to follow without a therapist's guidance, while Hightower's is more straightforward and simpler to use on one's own. Both are well documented and are recommended for self-help collections in academic and large public libraries and for mental health practitioners. Elizabeth Goeters, Georgia Perimeter Coll., Dunwoody
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Review
"...a highly practical and easy-to-follow guide for managing anger problems....Recommended." -- Library Journal, January 2002

"Anger Busting 101 is likely to become The Big Book for anger addicts." -- Blair Justice, Ph.D. and Rita Justice, Ph.D., Psychologists and authors of The Abusing Family

"This book can be a real gift to men struggling to overcome the tyranny of anger in their lives." -- Sam J. Buser, Ph.D., President, Texas Psychological Association

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 216 pages
• Publisher: Bayou Publishing; 1st edition (March 1, 2002)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1886298041
• ISBN-13: 978-1886298040
• Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 6 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars See all reviews (24 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #77,337 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

43 of 43 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Calming the Volcano, August 26, 2003

By	Rebecca Johnson "SeasonedwithLove.com" (Washington State) - See all my reviews (TOP 10 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)    (COMMUNITY FORUM 04)

"Destructive anger hurts your health, makes you miserable, blocks solutions, wastes your energy, keeps you helpless, invites attacks, imprisons your spirit, wrecks human relations, gives you headaches, causes accidents, ruins restful sleep and turns a love life into a lonely life." ~Newton Hightower

Are some men addicted to rage? Can anger addiction be similar to alcohol addiction? Are there really biochemical changes in our bodies when we become angry, swear or pound things?

Newton Hightower was once a rageaholic who tried meditation, pillow-pounding and other methods, to no avail. He kept thinking he could gain control and change his behavior. Through his own experience with rage, and the consequences of being fired and becoming depressed, he developed the Recovery Method.

Did you know that children whose parents fight are more depressed than children from non-fighting families?

Did you know there is a way to control your conversations. It is not only humorous, it
will be very healing for your partner.

The conversation on pg. 45 is just a brilliant example. A man who is in control of his emotions, can say he is sorry and can admit to being wrong can be very sexy. Especially if he is controlling his emotions and making you feel safe and secure at the same time. There are ways to make a woman blossom and there are ways to kill her spirit. This book discusses both. Often, fighting is a way to say: "You are not paying me any attention, so I'll fight with you and get your attention."

The author offers:

15 Behaviors to avoid when angry. Some behaviors to avoid are: "Speaking, being sarcastic, yelling, criticizing, interrupting and name-calling."

20 Principles to replace negative traits - This list will encourage spiritual change that will not only benefit a marriage relationship. It will help men live on a deeper level.

11 Comments partners should avoid in order to defuse tense situations.
9 Ideas to help partners overcome their angry outbursts
7 Guidelines for effective communication with angry partners

Anger can destroy relationships and Newton Hightower went through two divorces before he realized his anger was a contributing factor in the failure of his marriages. Surprisingly, he was also trying to cure rage in others and it was making their rage worse. He had not found the answers. He then decided that if rage could be increased, it could also be decreased. He found the answers through a painful personal journey.

This book is divided into three main sections. The Introduction explains anger and also gives an Anger Self-Assessment Test.

Section I: The ABCs for Angry Men
Section II: Decision Time for Women
Section III: The ABCs for Women Who Are Training Angry Men

Throughout the book, you will find cute cartoons, great examples, enlightening quotes, conversations and statistics. I found this book to be insightful, truthful and informative. Now only will you find out the truth about anger, you will be enlightened in a new way. These principles can be used to improve communication on all levels.

This book is filled with truth. As a woman, I can say that yes, it can take a long time to get over the emotional pain of being verbally abused. No matter how short the argument, it can leave a woman damaged and even suicidal. A woman will often just stop speaking because she has become that angry herself. I would rather hear "I love you, I?m sorry for what I just said," than "I'm crazy."

Some of the conversations were such beautiful examples of how a man can take control of his relationships and really show the woman he is with that he loves her more than he loves his anger. I also enjoyed the wisdom gained from a variety of cultures and religions.

Chapter four is interesting and frightening. There are women all over America who live in fear of being at home. It was shocking to learn that twice as many women are killed by their husbands or boyfriends than are murdered by strangers. The author explains how some men are Cobras and others are Pit Bulls. He also explains how you should protect yourself. There is a list of organizations to assist women who are being battered.

If you are a man who wants to stop fault-finding, sarcasm, arguing, self-justification, rage and violence, this program might save your marriage, help you keep your job, keep you out of prison or prevent death. In general, this book can encourage healthy relationships.

If you are a woman, this might be the book you have been searching for. Finally you might be able to have a conversation with your husband without being verbally abused and finally live in an emotionally healthy climate.

The principles in "Anger Busting 101" encourage men to change their behavior quickly, dramatically and forever. If you are experiencing verbal abuse from the man you love, I can highly recommend this book. You will finally know if you should leave, stay and help your husband or seek counseling yourself. Anger will not only destroy a relationship, it can destroy your entire life.

You can make Peace with Your Anger.
You can make Your Relationships More Peaceful.

This is a guide to Peace. There is hope that you can calm the volcano and stop the destruction before it overflows into the lives of those you love.

~The Rebecca Review

22 of 23 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Not Just for Wife Beaters, February 28, 2003

By	Bruce A., Epstein (Rocky Hill, NJ United States) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

Although I wish the book spent less time assuming all its readers were wife beaters who could use a trip to jail to cool off, I found its techniques very reasonable and helpful. Although I never have and never will hit a woman or child, I still tend to get angry too easily. Don't let the book's subtitle fool you into thinking it is only for marital fights/anger. If you get angry at your boss, your siblings, your parents, your kids, or random drivers, this book's techniques can help you. I'd like to see a version intended for people like me who are often angry but never violent. I'd also like to see a version for angry women, because not every woman is a victim of an angry man, as this book implies. Despite its faults, it is an immensely valuable book, and relevant to you if you are reading this review.

16 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Controlling the Addiction that Controls Us, April 24, 2002

By	doc 1 "just stuff" (Houston, Texas USA) - See all my reviews

Anger, and subsequent rageful behavior, are addictions that can easily overtake a man's temperment. In a society where task-oriented individuals are rewarded for their drive, it is easy for men to carry those personality traits into the conduct of their personal lives. Unfortunately, the traits which work well in the business-world do not translate smoothly into most individual's personal lives. Newton Hightower speaks from the experience of a man who has been there and done that. He knows firsthand the spiralling effects of uncontrolled anger, and has suffered devastating consequences as a result of his actions. Through introspection and humor, Newton discovered the characteristics of his addiction and what steps were necessary to control the outward expressions of his anger. Fortunately, he is willing to share with us the lessons which he learned the hard way.

Unfortunately, rage addiction is something that angry men will probably never outgrow. Still, by following the simple steps and guidelines in this easy-to-read book, most men can rapidly turn their lives around. Newton writes in a style which makes his lessons easy to remember and simple to apply. (Sometimes, it is better to be happy than to be "right".) For any man who feels that his relationships are in trouble as a result of his anger, this book is a must-read.