Are Your Parents Driving You Crazy? How to Resolve the Most Common Dilemmas with Aging Parents (Paperback)

~ Carole R. Rothman (Author)

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

Clinical social worker Ilardo and clinical psychologist Rothman codirect the Center for Adult Children of the Elderly and the Center for Caregiver Studies in Scarsdale, NY. Here, they have simply and logically condensed years of experience at those institutions. In straightforward text, they present a problem-solving model that anyone can use with his/her aging parents. The groundwork of the model is immediately followed by analyses of 25 common dilemmas (e.g., how to deal with an elderly parent who insists on driving or who refuses to take medication) with possible outcomes. After each scenario, the authors pose six questions: Does everyone agree that the problem exists? How urgent is the problem? What's behind the behavior? What is hooking the adult child? Who must be included in the discussions? And, finally, what is the expected goal or final outcome? Very similar in scope to Grace Lebow and Barbara Kane's Coping with Your Difficult Older Parent (Avon, 1999), this is an excellent choice for parents, adult children, caretakers, and other health professionals. Lisa Wise, Broome Cty. P.L., Binghamton, NY
Copyright 2001 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Product Description

What do you do when your aging-but usually reasonable-parents seem to dig in their heels and refuse to "see reason"? when your aging mother can't get along with the home health aide? when your father refuses to stop driving? when your sister won't help out? The co-authors, both family therapists, give you a simple problem-solving model for working through any dilemma you and your aging parents may run into, and then take you through 25 of the most common dilemmas. Chapters also include communicating effectively, breaking an impasse, and taking care of yourself in the process.

Product Details

• Paperback: 240 pages
• Publisher: Vanderwyk & Burnham; 1 edition (April 1, 2001)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1889242144
• ISBN-13: 978-1889242149
• Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 5.9 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12.5 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #879,165 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

36 of 36 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Will save you immense amounts of stressful anxiety, June 8, 2001

By	Midwest Book Review (Oregon, WI USA) - See all my reviews

Joseph Ilardo and Carole Rothman effectively collaborate in Are Your Parents Driving You Crazy? to show stressed out adult children how to resolve the most common and frequently encountered dilemmas that arise from efforts to care their aging parents. Cogent, insightful, practical, and competent problem solving advice, suggestions, and observations are provided when an aging parent can no longer safely drives but is refusing to quit; detrimentally skimps on expenses even though they are not poverty stricken; refuse to see a doctor or ignore medical advice; want to move in with their children; antagonize home health aides and other support workers; are unwilling to discuss vital end-of-life issues and decisions; and more. Also of great and enduring value is the advice on handling adult siblings who refuse to help in the care and problems of the aging parent; resent the time spent caring for a parent; disagree, discourage, or undermine parental care efforts; steals from the parent, and more. If you are undertaking the responsibilities of caring for an aging parent, begin with a careful reading of Joseph Ilardo and Carole Rothman's Are Your Parents Driving You Crazy? It will save you immense amounts of stressful anxiety and bewildered frustration -- as well as substantially improve the quality and effectiveness of your efforts in behalf of your aging parent.

13 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Very Helpful!, August 16, 2001

By A Customer

At last, real solutions to the reality of the day-to-day problems/frustration when dealing with aging parents who are "DRIVING YOU CRAZY!" Great title, easy to read, valuable advice, and it really helped me cope better. The other book I also highly recommend is "Elder Rage," which is fun to read because it is filled with humor about this most heart-breaking subject. Both books will get you through it!

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Helpful and Very Practical, April 17, 2008

By	Karen Zemek "Author of 'My Funny Dad, Harry'" (Parma, Ohio USA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This book would be helpful to anyone who has elderly parents. I like that it emphasizes respect and consideration for the aging parent, including the aging parent in the decisions and first of all getting everyone involved to agree there really is a problem. It outlines a plan for thinking through the particular problem and looking at all the possible solutions. It has separate chapters listed for specific common problems and gives an example of using the problem solving model. It contains resources for additional help if needed.

I followed the basic strategy of this book with my dad and after he died, wrote My Funny Dad, Harry in his memory which includes how we dealt with some of the struggles mentioned in this book. Consequently, we had a close relationship to the end.