When Someone You Love Is Kinky (Paperback)

~ Dossie Easton (Author), Catherine A. Liszt (Author) "Can anybody really ever understand someone else's experience, someone else's life?..." (more)

Product Details

• Paperback: 156 pages
• Publisher: Greenery Press (CA) (September 15, 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1890159239
• ISBN-13: 978-1890159238
• Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 6 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.9 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #189,763 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

41 of 41 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Guide to Explaining your kink to non-kinky friends, July 14, 2001

By	Todd Hawley (San Francisco CA) - See all my reviews (TOP 500 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)

One of the hardest things about being "kinky" is trying to find a way to tell your friends, relatives, lovers, etc about your "alternative lifestyle." Some of choose not to, because of the fear they will be ridiculed or ostracized by those close to them. So some that are into "kink" choose to keep it a secret.

When Someone You Love Is Kinky is a wonderful book to give to a friend or lover to explain to them some of the reasons why you enjoy this lifestyle. The authors take a calm and understanding approach in this book, perfect for non-kinky readers who might wonder why their otherwise "normal-looking" relative takes such delight in activities they themselves may be uncomfortable with.

The first couple of chapters deal with how a non-kinky person (such as your partner or best friend) might be feeling after finding out that their friend or lover likes to be spanked, whipped, tied up or "whatever." The authors obviously have been down this road many times of explaining their kink to so-called "vanilla people" and dealt with either hostile or indifferent reactions. Subsequent chapters explain more about the "world of kink," how we manage to keep all our activites consensual, and how to better accept your friend's kink. There's a chapter at the end of the book that explains how to deal with finding out it's your partner that is "kinky."

If you've been searching for ways to explain your "kink" to a "non-kinky" person, this book is a great place to start.

40 of 41 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Kinky and need to come out to someone? Here's help!, November 9, 2000

By A Customer

Dossie and Catherine have written another great book. If you've read their other books, there's a good chance you're kinky too. What do you do if you want to tell someone you're kinky, into bdsm and whips and chains, or just like to give or get a spanking? What do you do if your kink is exposed to someone? Giving them this book is one goog answer. Without being technical or sensational, this book discusses what we do and why, and why we might want someone we love to know about it. It details the meaning of "Safe, Sane and Consensual" and goes into the ways we keep our play safe and sane and consensual. The authors introduce the BDSM scene, what it's like, private and public, who is kinky, what a Pro Domme is. A special section is devoted to discovering your spouse or partner is kinky. Another is for professionals who find their clients or patients are kinky.

The only negative is a lack of any information about polyamory. A high precentage of the kinksters are poly and often it's tougher to come out poly than kinky. "I don't care what you do in your bedroom as long as you do it with your wife" was my mother's comment when she found whips in our bedroom closet.

36 of 37 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Consenting adult sexual practices can vary widely, February 17, 2001

By	Midwest Book Review (Oregon, WI USA) - See all my reviews

The spectrum of human sexuality and behavior is culturally defined, shaped, and sanctioned. Some acts and relationships being within the norm, others being viewed as extreme or deviant. In every society, consenting adult sexual practices can vary widely as to whether they are normative or "kinky". These practices include bondage, spanking, cross-dressing, erotic role-playing, fetishism, and related activities. Marriage and family counselor Dossie Easton and writer/educator Catherine A. Liszt wrote When Someone You Love Is Kinky to help "non-kinky" folks understand and communicate with their kinky friends, partners, and relatives. Included are guidelines for dealing with the emotional turmoil of the coming-out process; brief and non-threatening descriptions of the commonest kinks (and ideas about why people enjoy them); suggestions for how to talk to your kinky friend or relative in ways that promote good communication; explanation of how kinky people keep themselves safe while exploring diverse sexualities; a glossary of commonly used terminology from the kink communities; a resource guide to help the reader find further information and support. A highly recommended addition to personal, academic, and community library human sexuality reference collections, When Someone You Love Is Kinky is sound, appropriate, informative, and serious reading.