Nobody's Child Anymore: Grieving, Caring and Comforting When Parents Die (Paperback)

by Barbara Bartocci (Author) "The hospital room percolated softly with the hum of the respirator..." (more)
Key Phrases: Air Force, Mother Earth

Editorial Reviews

Review
"A wealth of spirit-lifting wisdom that readers will feel compelled to share with friends in need."

Product Details

• Paperback: 127 pages
• Publisher: Sorin Books; First Edition edition (October 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1893732215
• ISBN-13: 978-1893732216
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.5 x 0.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars See all reviews (15 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #100,859 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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  #31 in	Books > Health, Mind & Body > Psychology & Counseling > By Topic > Grief

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

42 of 42 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Permission to grieve as I have needed to, August 4, 2003

By	Ms. Kathryn Houseman Lobert (Arlington, TX USA) - See all my reviews

My 88 year old dad died January 8, 2003. Although I was unable to look at his picture for a couple of months, I thought I was "handling it" just fine. Besides, although my mother was also suffering from dementia, she was obviously aware that Daddy was gone and I needed to concentrate on her. Then on May 7, 2003, Mama died - and I began to grieve. It was almost like losing them both the same day. I guess as long as my mother was still here, I still felt a connection to my dad as well. I never expected to hurt so badly. They were 88, in extremely poor health and had not been like the parents I had known for quite some time. But now they are gone.Even knowing this was coming and being 50 years old myself, I was still devastated. After I had finished everything with the memorial service and everyone had gone home, I began to realize how very bereft I was. I felt foolish having so much grief - after all, they were old and sick, better off now, etc., all of the usual platitudes. I have a strong religious faith and have no questions as to where they are now. I did not want them to continue suffering. And yet, I missed my mom and dad. I first read "The Orphaned Adult," which was extremely helpful and which I recommend. But I still seemed to be sadder than I thought I should be for a person losing parents later in life. I could no longer sleep through the night, if I got to sleep at all. I had thought about ordering this book for a while, but felt I was being too self indulgent. Finally I gave in and I am so thankful I did. Ms. Bartocci hit me "right where I lived." She put words to my sadness and gave me the permission to "still" feel sad. She describes grief as individual to each of us, which made me feel less of a "freak." As I said, I am not a "group help" person. This book, as another reviewer stated, was like having a group in my home. It has now been three months since my mother died. I still start to go to the phone to call her and I still cannot drive past the Alzheimer's unit where she and my daddy spent the last years of their amazing 67 year marriage. But, as Ms. Bartocci explained, I am having more "good days" than bad and am gradually able to talk about my parents without tearing up. Thank God for this book because her words encouraged me to allow myself to continue in my grief, gradually getting better, instead of making myself deny it,even to myself - which would probably have had dreadful consequences. I recommend this book with the highest recommendation and I want to thank the author for her kind heart and for being so open with her life so that she may help people like me.

46 of 47 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Quiet, compassionate, and useful, November 11, 2000

By A Customer

Barbara Bartocci addresses an issue that baby boomers will soon face: the death of their parents. For many, unprepared to become the "older generation," the experience will be traumatic. It may also be an opportunity for spiritual growth. Barbara uses personal experience (she has lost many loved ones) and discussions with others to point up a wide range of reactions-from feeling a parent has died "too young," to grief that lasts beyond the "acceptable" period of time, to guilt arising out of relief at the passing. She validates all these emotions and gives valuable insights, as well as warm, sometimes humorous advice. In a sense, NOBODY'S CHILD ANYMORE can be used as a handbook. It is a practical reference as well as an uplifting lesson for difficult times.

19 of 19 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A must for any adult who's lost a parent, September 23, 2002

By A Customer

When I was 12 years old, my father died six weeks after a massive heart attack. A month ago, four days before my 34th birthday, my mother died suddenly. I'm a late-comer and my siblings are a much older than me. They have their families. I have my career. Although my religious beliefs give me peace, there is still an immense sadness. I am not yet married, my beloved will never know my wonderful parents. Any children I may have will never know their maternal grandparents. Both of my grandfathers died before I was born, so this causes me grief for what my children who aren't even born yet have lost.

This book is wonderful and helped me to understand different feelings that I've been having and let me know that these feelings are not unique.