Escape from Fire Island! (Mass Market Paperback)

~ (Author) "Your vacation to Fire Island is already off to a bad start-and it's all because of your annoying best friend Jose..." (more)
Key Phrases: zombie epidemic, lifeguard station, fire island, Champagne Toast, Cherry Grove, The Meat Rack (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Product Description

This hilarious sci-fi parody chronicles one man’s weekend vacation on Fire Island, where—amid all the cocktails, Speedos, and circuit parties—he’s hoping to find true love. But these amorous plans are foiled when a vat of toxic waste washes ashore—and it’s up to him to save Fire Island from a plague of zombie drag queens!

On every page, YOU have control of the story: If you ask the lifeguard to bring you to the sheriff’s office, turn to page 108. If you ask the lifeguard to warn everyone at the night club, turn to page 32. If you ask the lifeguard if he’d like to work out sometime, turn to page 140.

With more than 35 illustrations throughout—and more hot bods than a year’s subscription to Men’s Health magazine—Escape from Fire Island! is the most campy and hilarious read of the summer.

About the Author

James H. English based this book on his experiences at Fire Island (except for all the zombie stuff - he made those parts up). He lives in Astoria, New York.

Product Details

• Mass Market Paperback: 144 pages
• Publisher: Quirk Books (February 1, 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1931686408
• ISBN-13: 978-1931686402
• Product Dimensions: 6.8 x 4.5 x 0.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 2.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #546,416 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

13 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Campy, B-movie choose-your-own fun..., April 11, 2003

By	GoryDetails "gorydetails" (Nashua, NH USA) - See all my reviews

OK, I liked this - I really liked it! Toxic waste is turning everyone on Fire Island into homicidal zombie drag queens; do you flee to the ferry, attempt to find a way to defeat the tottering-on-platform-heels undead, or try to score at the nearest bar? [Think of your favorite cheesy zombie flick, but where the girlish screams come from a drama queen instead of a cheerleader!]

As a choose-your-own book it's quite well done: the choices are plentiful and varied - sensible choices, libido-driven choices, the "I know this is a bad idea but I want to see what happens" choices, just plain unlucky choices - and the possible endings cover a pretty wide swathe, with a few that may be regarded as "successful" and lots of opportunities for disaster.

And it's funny. Silly/campy/funny: when the hero's swimsuit is shredded he exclaims "Damn it! That was Versace!" And there are hunky lifeguards, and glory holes, and mermen, and... well, as one of the cover-blurb reviews puts it, "All the excitement of a Fire Island vacation - for just $$$. You can't even buy a *drink* on Fire Island for $$$"

If I had one quibble it would be that the illustrations are a wee bit tame - but I suppose that's in keeping with the style of the book, so I won't fuss too much. [They're tame enough that they might puzzle, but probably won't shock, anyone who opens this book under the impression that it's a traditional choose-your-own adventure book.

[The cover also lists future releases in the "Date with Destiny" line, and I sincerely hope they're really in the works. I can't wait to read "I Know Who You Did Last Summer"...]

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Vacation for the Mind , January 27, 2005

By	Chris with Getbooked.com (Las Vegas, NV) - See all my reviews

When I was a child, Choose Your Own Adventures was the coolest thing. At my elementary school's library, we were privileged enough to have an entire RACK dedicated to the Choose Your Own series of books. I think the library was willing to do anything to trick us kids into reading.

As an adult, I no longer need to be tricked into reading. I CRAVE a new book in what I can only compare to how a smoker must feel when they have needed a cigarette for a couple of hours. In the spirit of nostalgia, I was excited to see the Choose Your Own Genre making something of a resurface on the book store book shelves.

One of the books from the series published by Quirk Books, "Escape From Fire Island," presented me with a twenty minute, no brain adventure written by Pamela Hobbs. As a gay man on Fire Island, I'm faced with such tough, life changing decisions such as if I should take my shorts off or not to safe a toxic-doused drag-queen, and if I'd rather talk to the blonde OBVIOUS bottom, or be a coward and drink at the bar.

As far as plot goes, zombie drag queens try to take over the island. If you chose to save the island, turn to page 16. If you decide to run away like a terrified girl, turn to page 75. Nothing life changing.

That's exactly what I loved about this little book. There is nothing life changing about it. It won't make you think. It won't give you deep inner thoughts about religion and philosophy. Sometimes, people read to escape their problems. Some people read for the same reason they watch television. They want to put their problems away, and laugh. They want to enjoy a fantasy land where there is no credit card debt, and there is no AIDS.

This day and age, we have enough serious crap to deal with. I'm all for a book that wants to have a good time, and wants to take me along with it. I'm generally not a fan of camp, but no other tone would have fit into this spoof-homage to the '60's beach movies with a comic horror twist.

If only they could have found a way to fit a musical number in somehow...

5.0 out of 5 stars Burns Cabin, August 28, 2005

By	Roby, slave to the endless - See all my reviews

This isn't the kind of book i would normaly look for in barnes & noble... but i found it in my own way...

There's a little camp somewhere in the USA. And in that camp there is a cabin which houses the oldest teenage boys who attend this camp. And within this cabin is a book.

I've gone to this camp for 5 years, and this book has become infamous as the hilariously outrageous creation that it is over those years. Only this last year was i actually in the cabin which has the book, and yet i still new very well what the Meat Rack was.

Having this book as your "Bedtime story" is by far one of the most entertaining things to obtain. I've read every page, died in so many ways, and even saved fire island (three times, with a different boyfriend by the end each time)... its not meant to be a great intelectual stimulant, but its worth far more than the $10 or so you'll ever be asked to pay for it. And come on... u get to have hot sex with a body builder... ON A WATER BED!