Off the Derech: Why Observant Jews Leave Judaism; How to Respond to the Challenge (Paperback)

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Key Phrases: off the derech, dropping observance, drop observance, Rabbi Riskin, Modern Orthodox, Leah Kohn (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Baffled by her own experience as well as those of friends, Margolese explores the phenomenon of yeshiva-educated children from observant homes abandoning their tradition, or "going off the derech path." Interviews with formerly observant Jews, as well as rabbis, educators, therapists and program directors uncover the emotional and intellectual complexity behind the phenomenon. "Most observant Jews seem to have left, not because the outside world pulled them in, but rather because the observant one pushed them out," she concludes. "They experienced Judaism as a source of pain rather than joy." Margolese, who returned to a religious lifestyle, views her findings as a wake-up call to reshape the observant world so it remains inspiring and inviting. Though some of her observations hardly break psychological ground-healthy parent- and teacher-child relationships ground self-esteem, for instance-they can have startling results when placed in the context of the religious world. She advocates focusing on meaning instead of on rules, and placing a child's emotional needs above his Torah observance. Though Jewish readers may be most interested in Margolese's subject, her conclusion will resonate with those of all faiths: "God cannot be confined to the narrow path we walk... neither can his people."
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Product Description

"Off the Derech," translated as "Off the Path," is the term used within the Orthodox Jewish community to describe those who have left Jewish observance. This groundbreaking new book by Faranak Margolese examines why Orthodox Jews stop practicing Judaism, confronting one of the most pressing issues in the religious Jewish world today.

Based on a study which involved over 500 Jews who left Orthodox Judaism, Off the Derech presents the first comprehensive examination of the causes of defection from Orthodox Judaism. It clearly and thoroughly explains those causes, and provides solutions to this increasingly common phenomenon. In doing so, Off the Derech enlightens not only the Orthodox but Jewish parents and leaders from all streams of Judaism as the research provides valuable insights into assimilation and Jewish continuity at large.

This highly anticipated work, over five years in the making, is certain to become the definitive handbook on what is emerging as one of the most difficult issues in the Orthodox and Jewish world today. It is a must-have, invaluable handbook for parents, teachers and Rabbis alike. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 429 pages
• Publisher: Devora Publishing (November 30, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1932687432
• ISBN-13: 978-1932687439
• Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 5.9 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.5 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (12 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #584,958 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

26 of 30 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars An important book on an important question, January 18, 2006

By	Shalom Freedman "Shalom Freedman" (Jerusalem,Israel) - See all my reviews (TOP 50 REVIEWER)

This is an important book. And the writer of the book is to be commended for choosing a subject which is of great importance to the Jewish community, and has not been previously treated ( so far as I know) in book form. Faranak Margolese spent five years preparing this book, interviewed several hundred people including many major Rabbis for the project. She studied the subject in depth and came to no easy and hasty conclusion.
One of her findings is that there is no single all- encompassing reason why observant Jews cease to be so. It can be the coolness of their own observant parents to religion, or the difficulty they have with teachers in school. It can come from their own sense of the religion's simply 'not working' for them. There are many , many reasons. And the author is honest enough to say that she has no formula for any specific case.
Here it is important to note that this study is written by an observant person who is looking at the falling away from observance as something 'negative' In other words this book's audience is the audience of observant Jews worried about what is happening to their community.
My own experience teaches me too that there are many reasons for falling away. One is simply the great amount of time and effort required to be religious when people are in frameworks ( for instance, university) where they may be pressed for time. I would too second one of the major points the author makes, the frequent insensitivity of religious people to the needs of their fellows. Even in the matter of 'rebuking' those fallen away, I have seen a neglect of Rambam's advice to do this gently and with respect for the dignity of the person.
I believe one reason the author may not give enough emphasis too is the question of love of truth and intellectual integrity. Einstein left religious life simply because he came to believe its stories 'not true'. I think that in present day Judaism there is a tremendous turning away, even on the part of the most leading and modern rabbis, from the intellectual challenges brought about by a world which scientifically and technically is changing at an accelerated pace.
In this regard I remember one session I attended in a certain well - known Yeshiva , which will go nameless here. A young student whose background was in the sciences asked a question about the religious view of the origin of the Universe. The teacher said to the young man, "Do you have a washing machine?" The young man did not know what to say. The teacher went on. "Well if you do, you know it comes with a manual, a set of rules which tells you how it works. Now" he said holding a Tannakh (Bible) this is our Instruction Manual. Read this, and you will know how the Universe works" The young student looked a bit perplexed, but the teacher was extremely satisfied with himself. My point is that not always are our teachers and educators at the level required to meet the intellectual challenges and questions presented by students. And here I do not mean that they have to have a formula answer( In fact in my opinion the 'formula answers' point to a very big problem with those who do stay in the faith) ((This by the way is another subject, my guess even more controversial. What is wrong with the way so many who are religious act in regard to the religion?))
In any case this book is an important exploration of an important subject, and it makes recommendations which hopefully will be useful to many.
Again I would stress one point the author makes. i.e. that the religious treat with respect and consideration those who are less religious than them.

29 of 36 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Must read for Jewish parents and educators, November 12, 2005

By	Arielle Listokin (New York City) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

Hats off to Ms. Margolese for thoughtfully and courageously tackling a subject that has, for too long, remained behind closed doors! By addressing the complex issue of children who leave the derech in extensive, written form, Margolese has boldly taken the first steps towards mending this problem. The book provides not only compelling analysis, but also insightful and pragmatic approaches to resolution that parents can, with a little resolve, easily put into practice. Off the Derech reflects years of demanding and intricate research, yet somehow manages to read like a novel. The narrative style and easy flow of Margolese's writing captured my attention from cover to cover, nearly 400 pages-no small feat for a work of nonfiction, especially for this reader whose interest is easily diverted!

It is certainly worth note that many works of this genre, that examine the challenges of the Orthodox, Jewish world, are written with an underlying tone of disdain and contempt for this very special community. Margolese does none of this. She writes with a deep reverence for this community, a clear and well-rounded understanding of Jewish law and tradition and an unusually profound sense of Jewish values. This book is a must have for parents, educators and community leaders alike...a worthy addition to every Jewish library.

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars filled with outstanding insights, December 28, 2006

By	jsa (San Diego, CA United States) - See all my reviews

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This review is from: Off the Derech: How to Respond to the Challenge (Hardcover)

"Off the Derech," which I read last spring and have recommended to a number of people since, deserves to reach a wide audience - not just clergy and educators, but anyone sincerely interested in the orientation and direction of traditional Judaism.

The question that Faranak Margolese poses in her book's subtitle, "Why Observant Jews Leave Judaism," may well be expanded to "Why Aren't More Jews Observant" - for in my view the reasons she gives for the former are the same as those for the latter. "Off the Derech," in fact, seeks to address one facet of a much larger issue, but actually reaches way beyond this by delving into the very meaning of what it means to be a religious Jew. In this respect, the author quotes Joseph Telushkin: "Among many Orthodox and non-Orthodox as well, the word 'religious' has acquired an exclusively ritualistic connotation. If two Jews are speaking about a third and the question is raised as to whether or not the person is religious, the answer will be based exclusively on the person's level of ritual observance... Ethics are treated almost like an extra-curricular activity - nice, but not that important in defining a person's religiosity." (pp. 222-223) The point Ms. Margolese makes by quoting Rabbi Telushkin, who opens his own most recent book, "You Shall be Holy," by making this same statement, is not that mitzvah observance in all of its forms is secondary, but that it is a means to an end, which is right behavior, and not a mechanical substitute for it.

The author's outlook is one of Torah-grounded, love-oriented, positive Judaism, and her many important observations are designed to support traditional religious thinking and practice. She doesn't loose sight of her original intention in writing "Off The Derech," which is to address the issues that drive people away (severity, narrowness, hypocrisy, judgmentalism etc); but her response to these things is to demonstrate that they are all in opposition to authentic Judaism. Every word is written in the spirit of constructive analysis, never criticism, and to support her viewpoints she draws on many sources, ranging from the classical commentators to Rav Kook and beyond.

Ms. Margolese's conclusions can be boiled down to this: "Solving these problems requires that we return to spirituality and connection to God, that we re-prioritize the internal life of mitzvot - not at the expense of the external expressions, but rather in conjunction with them." She poignantly quotes Rabbi Yaakov Shapiro, who writes "Frum doesn't mean anything... There is no such thing as frum; there is no such thing as Orthodox.... Frum is a Yiddish word - there are no objective criteria.... Frum should be defined as 'someone who is doing their best.'"

Amen.