Getting Good Loving: Seven Ways to Find Love and Make it Last (Paperback)

~ (Author)
Key Phrases: available black men, man shortage, many black men, African Americans, Uncle Wheeler, Aunt Addie (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Review

With sensitivity and wit ... suggests ways black men and women can shed their defenses and learn to trust each other. -- Publisher's Weekly

Product Description

A revised and updated third edition of one of the most successful relationship guides for African Americans, written by noted authority and radio show host Audrey Chapman. Examining case studies and first-person accounts, Chapman offers positive solutions to relationship problems and shows how black men and women can get more of what everyone needs-good loving.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 188 pages
• Publisher: Agate; 3rd edition (February 15, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1932841032
• ISBN-13: 978-1932841039
• Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 6 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #743,022 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Getting It Right 101, April 17, 2005

By	The RAWSISTAZ Reviewers (RAWSISTAZ.com and BlackBookReviews.net) - See all my reviews

Take a moment and sort through all of your self-help books on relationships that include, but are not limited to ways to please your mate, how to get him or her to listen, how to know what your mate wants, how to bring sparks back into your marriage and how to keep or find your soul mate. Remove them from your bookshelves and add GETTING GOOD LOVING by Audrey B. Chapman, an all-in-one self-help book providing all the answers and methods to the questions and concerns you have with your relationship and marriage.

GETTING GOOD LOVING is a wonderful new-age book that outlines, with great expertise, the many issues black men and women eventually face during their courtships and marriages. The author examines several issues such as controlling, feeling insecure, demanding attention, using sex as a way to get what you want, giving and receiving the wrong signals, playing with each other's emotions and refusing to compromise which in some cases are rooted from childhood and negative social protocol. For example, a man who grows up in a fatherless household has only his mother as a role model. Therefore, he may have opted to be more attracted to a woman who reminds him of his mother with expectations of the latter. With similar situations, some women may opt to be more attracted to older men using them as the father they never had.

Ms. Chapman's book goes into depth explaining the argumentative areas that couples face and introduces techniques on how to help couples and individuals work collectively together to arbitrate their issues. She is thorough and leaves nothing to ponder. What gives additional credence to this well written book is Ms. Chapman relating several clients' cases giving the reader a wide variety of situations and how she expertly advised each couple or individual.

This is a must read for everyone who is currently married, in a relationship or looking to commit to one and especially for those who are experiencing difficulties with their mate. GETTING GOOD LOVING provides remedies and simple solutions to achieving the good loving that everyone desires. I applaud Ms. Chapman, who also hosts her own radio show, for finally giving us something that we can relate to and realize that we are able to enjoy a loving and positive relationship.

Reviewed by Kalaani
of The RAWSISTAZ™ Reviewers

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Great Resource for Individuals and Couples!, October 3, 2005

By	Phyllis Rhodes (Orlando, FL USA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

"The first step toward achieving a better relationship is attaining a greater understanding of yourself."

Honestly, I am not into "self help" books and placed this book on the back burner for months simply because I had preconceived notions on what it was about and the advice it contained. Nonetheless, I picked it up with an open mind and was really surprised that this book was much better than I thought - I learned a lot! The author, a noted lecturer and therapist, discusses harmful socialized behavior, traits, habits, and environmental circumstances that I instantly recognized within my family, friends, and myself. However, the most important and helpful aspects of the book are the jewels of knowledge and positive approaches to overcome those behaviors and thoughts that were sprinkled through the book.

Chapman unabashedly peels back the proverbial onion to expose superficial issues that cover the underlying sources of tension in relationships - particularly African American relationships. The multifaceted aspects of high (and sometimes unrealistic) expectations, economics, education, chauvinistic attitudes, black male shortage, etc. combine to make the dating and mating situations even more tremulous and complex. The author examines and points out historical and current circumstances in African American culture that yields adults with voids and needs for emotional closeness. She proposes how popular societal messages often reinforce negative images and thoughts about marriage and commitment and goes a step further to cite how families, churches, academic institutions have failed black women and men in their efforts to make relationships work better.

This book is intelligently written and loaded with sound, solid advice - often times she alludes to what could probably be considered "common sense" but subtlety inserts academic and scholarly sources to support her views or observations. What I thought was interesting was it seems like a great deal of the negative or problematic behavior brought to relationships stem from childhood experiences and the nature of relationships between parents and children (i.e. childrearing practices). She encourages positive-thinking by looking inward first and offers tips for couples to connect on different levels, techniques to offer emotional and verbal support, how to block out external destructive forces, and develop fortitude for the "tough" times. Individuals and couples can benefit from this book -- it is a great resource for all genders whether single, dating, or married.

Reviewed by Phyllis
APOOO BookClub
Nubian Circle Book Club

5.0 out of 5 stars Relationship Book, March 2, 2009

By	Freda Ingram "Happy One 328" (DC) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

Audrey describes what great communication is and how to achieve it in your relationship. I found this book to be very useful. It's a source that you may find yourself referring back to quite often. Good resource.