Most Helpful Customer Reviews
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Absoludicrously Wonderful, April 10, 2003
Genius. Pure genius. Mr. T is our guide through the rocky world of self-esteem and responsibility, claiming we must all learn to be somebody...or be somebody's fool. If you have any appreciation at all for things so ill-conceived that they transcend their original intent and become hilarious works of art, then you are doing yourself a disservice by not owning this video. As a side note, if you grew up in the 80's, Mr. T will take you back to the days of break dancing and pastel polo shirts. A bargain at any price.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
ABSOLUDICROUS!!!!!!, February 12, 2005
Do yourself a favor and shell out the 8 bucks to buy this movie. I have never seen anything so insanely funny in my entire 25 years on this planet. Remember kids, "If you not somebody, then you gonna be somebody's fool!"
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
It's 'T' time!, October 15, 2007
Before there was Dr. Phil, there was Dr. T.
FACT: All ten year olds who watched this it's premier year now are CEOs.
That Mr. T only made one motivational video for kids is a sad, sad thing. It's the equivalent of Dickens having written only one book. You see, T has a whole new approach, threatening you to be self-confident! Or at least confusing you into submission. There are a lot of Granimals(TM) in this movie. I mean a lot. They must have sponsored it in some way.
We're really thrown right into this thing with some classic pics of T weightlifting and such. One looks like his first arrest. Way to encourage us T. Then when we're least prepared, T appears and raps at us!
"Now everybody got the time to pray, but I pity the fool when there comes a day, that a man finds his only guarantee, is to make sure that he must be somebody"
And the chorus:
"Be somebody! You know you can./(Mr. T: You heard me!)/
Be somebody! It's in your head.(Mr. T: I ain't playing!)"
Woah, calm down T! During the song we're given an opening montage of some key points in the film. Think of this as a warning of things to come. If you can't handle this intro then you are in no way prepared for what lies within. There is, of course, one strange scene included in this intro that is not even in the film. It involves T dressed up as a genie on a beach. Either there is a missing genie scene somewhere on the cutting room floor, or T likes to dress up and reenact scenes from 'I dream of genie' and the film accidentally got spliced into this intro. Let's hope for the former.
After the intro, T yells at us. "Hey you! You with the teeth!" T takes a mighty big liberty in assuming his viewers all have teeth. Why not really go out on a limb and shout. "Hey, you with the eye brows!" or "You with the finger nail on the ring finger of your left hand!" T then goes onto say, "You know me, that's because I'm famous!" Well, T you're doing fine in the self-confidence area, but let's get to work on the humility! T assures us that he is going to help us 'be somebody.'
The first segment is on shyness. A little girl is doing some PSA on shyness and, ironically enough she is shy herself. To make matters worse the director won't shut up for 5 seconds to her her talk...big mistake. She explodes:
"No! You forget it! I was asked to do this commercial about shyness and I'm going to finish it!!!"
Apparently in T's book being bi-polar is an excellent antidote for being shy. She storms off and that's it. That's the end of the segment. That's all T has to tell us about being shy? Ok, onto the next segment...
This next one is called Roots. In this one T tells the story of his heritage to a gaggle of ankle biters. He insists that he is from the Mandinka tribe. Which, coincidentally, is where Kunta Kinte from the movie Roots was from. T, you're not making up your background are you? A girl is so inspired from his story that she interjects:
"My dad was born in L.A. And my dad's dad was born here to. But his dad wasn't born here, he was born in Sacramento." Did I miss something? Is this supposed to be a joke? Too bad there's not a laugh track to keep me aware of when I'm supposed to laugh. After some more diatribe from T the kids sing a song. You expected this didn't you? The song is about loving each other regardless of race, which I guess is good, but aren't you straying from the self-confidence theme of this video, T?
Two segments with confusing morals down, many more to go. But not before a cameraman shouts "Be somebody!" at us. This next segment is yclept Frustration. T, in formal-wear, walks out with a cello and begins to play it like a violin, under his chin. He falls down. That's it for segment 3. I'm confused. Was this segment supposed to teach us about frustration by making us frustrated!!?
Moving on to Anger. T and a handful of kids are at a picnic table. What a relief nothing terrifying can hurt us here..or can it? Here T is preaching to the kids about how to deal with anger. To think nice thoughts and to channel the negative energies into something useful. Since when was Mr.T a yogi? Did he visit the Maharishi in India along with the Beatles and Donovan or something? He's subsequently attacked by a fly and loses it. He smashes his hand into the potato salad and launches a loaf of bread across the park. Alls well after he closes his eyes and channels those energies though. He snatches the fly out of the air and smiles. Ancient Mandinkan secret, huh...
Next is Stylin. This is the proverbial centerpiece of the film. T cautions us:
"Everybody gotta wear clothes, if not you get arrested!" Please tell me you don't know this from experience, T. There's no way I can describe this scene in words and do it justice. This is a mock fashion show with numerous kids from the cast dressed up in fancy clothes with pieces of masking tape stuck on them which have their names written on in marker. T is the announcer and he, well uses some colorful language:
"Here's our subway sweetheart taking the A train to fashion...In her mustard socks and her ketchup sash she's a real hotdog." This is only one example of many. There is plenty of silly dancing, silly outfits, and silly T overdubbed monologue. "Still up a breeze, Jenine, it's getting hot in here."
Next is Peer Pressure. I don't know if this is an intended pun or not, but this scene takes place...(*grimace) on a pier. This is really priceless. While a group of tweens and teen walks along the pier, one 'finds' a pack of cigs and a full beer in the trash. I guess he was just lucky that a local sea-captain had just given up drinking and smoking on the same day. The kids all partake of the goodies, except for one good kid that refuses. So they all gather around him shoving cigarettes in his face and blowing smoke on him. We're also blessed with New Edition providing the role of Greek chorus. I'd listen to them kid, Bobby Brown means business.
In the next part, Mr.T adopts the role of Dr.T and he's here to talk to us about recouping. He also coins the term 'absoluteacris!" The confusing message of this dialectic parable has something to do with a kid that trips in front of a crowd of people and 'recoups' by break dancing. In order to prevent you from realizing that this makes no sense, Dr.T walks out from behind his desk with no pants on. He recoups by tearing of his Dr.T gown and doing knee bends. Thanks, T, now I have to have another talk with my son...
This next segment is called, for some reason known only to T himself, Creating. It's really just a crash course in break dancing though. Since these kids are actually quite good, and each have the same blonde streak of hair, I assume they are a professional group that T hired. If you're feeling like you didn't learn a thing from this segment except for maybe how to do the moonwalk, you're not alone.
Next we have "Treat your Mother Right." You're not ready for this. You are in no way prepared. T raps while backed-up by a bunch of soccer moms. Moving on we have "Workout." This segment is beyond amazing. T attempts to take some kids to bootcamp and train them to exercise and keep fit...By doing knee-bends with a bag of popcorn on their heads. This would be amusing enough on its own but in the background is a song that...well it is true evil. I mean whose idea was it to put a song with sexually provocative lyrics into a kids movie. You have to read these lyrics for yourself to believe them:
"You only feel good when you're making your body run/Burn Burn, Sweat Sweat making your body work, to get wet wet(!)/Now is the time to make your move/better put on, those dancing shoes/work, the body electric/ let's do it, till we short circuit(!)/feel the current, goin through your veins/temperature, so high you're a burning flame/its so hot, but you don't want to stop..."
If you got through that without having to take a cold shower I applaud you. The next segment is called Rappin' or I am somebody, it's not really clear. This whole rap can be summed up in one line of the song, "They ain't dropped the bomb so it ain't that bad." Not even Candide possessed such optimism.
As far as confusing morals go, this next segment takes the cake. Its called Friendship. T tell us that a true friend is someone that will suck the poison out of your big toe should you get bit by a snake there. At that moment a gravelly voice-over exclaims, "Oh no, I've just been bit by a snake in the big toe!" T then either goes over to suck out the poison or he sneaks away. It's not really clear. That's pretty much all T has to say. There is a song about friendship that follows, but that doesn't really expound on T's message. Furthermore, what in blue blazes does friendship have to do with self-esteem anyway? T is all over the place!
Next is "Mr. T's tale." T tells this long, meandering, retelling of Romeo and Juliet. The kids are just as baffled as we are as T forgets the story midway through. T then admits to making up parts but claims the rest is true! I never knew Romeo and Juliet was based on a true story. At least I learned something from this movie. I can't complain though, with schools today permitting Tupac 'poetry' as a substitute for Shakespeare in English class, T's attempts at coercing kids to read real literature is refreshing.
Finally we have "Daydreaming." A young girl is playing baseball and getting ready to swing the bat and hit a home-run. She has some crazy notion that she is going to make it to the world series. I'd tell her that girls don't get to play professional ball, but I'll let her have her daydream. Anyway, it is this short, uninspiring fable...
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