Most Helpful Customer Reviews
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Hokey but enjoyable - my 6 yr old thinks its a hoot., October 3, 2002
I always liked caveman movies since I was a kid. Recently I watched this with my 6 yr old daughter. I was suprised at how she got into it. She's still trying to figure out the language of the cave folks. I keep telling her its just jibberish the actors are saying so they wont have to grunt, but she's convinced there is meaning to it. Anyway, its just childish escapist fantasy, but sometimes thats all you need. And, oh yeah, its got fur bikinis.
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
One Million Years B.C. Part II, February 9, 2001
Here's the follow-up to the earlier Hammer film, One Million Years B.C. and it's an enjoyable sequel of sorts. Victoria Vetri is the lead in this film and while the story and effects tend to look a little more *cartoonish* than the Harryhausen effects from One Million Years B.C., this film is a fun way to pass an afternoon and for fans of dinosaurs and little plot, it's a must-see!
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
So that's how you spell AKITA., April 20, 2007
I just finished this movie, it's rewound, so lets get to it. First of all I like all of these cavemen movies and When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth and One Million B.C. are the two top ones. Set in the time before earth had a moon--I guess this is before both man and dinosaur were supposed to have existed. And yes, is the typical story of all blonds being kept around for sacrifice only...why else do you think there are so few?
Looking at the SUN zealot it kind of makes me wonder if he was impotent...afterall, if you look at the first three sacrifices, I think I could have found much more to do with them than toss'm into the drink.
PROS:
1. The music goes fine with this movie kind of letting you know our humble past but always aspiring forward and upward.
2. Special effects, fine.
3. Monsters fine. These guys took some time to make a dinosaur. A combination of stop and go anim., and real lizards dress up.
4. Cuties are all cuties--no star there of course.
5. Now lets get to some of the meat of the movie. Other reviewers laugh and scoff at these sudden storms and other bad weather so let me fill you in on something. In the opening scenes, while the three cuties are about to be tossed off the cliff...everybody looks up at the sun and so does the camera and zealot. It changes size and shape, the wind picks up to storm level and waves are created with white caps. Well, in my opinion this is supposed to be caused by an off shore, over the horizon, volcanic explosion. Probably a cleaner explosion than most--near the top of the volcano. Volcanic gas spews out and a moment or two later the top of the volcano explodes. The gas screws up the sun light and the 'slow blow' explosion stirs up the air.
six. Storm scenes with people in the water are fine. Well done and appear to been shot outside in the real ocean.
7. I think the zealot is also some sort of warlord. He throws a lot of orders around in the movie, people get killed, nobody back talks him. but during the funeral I have to say as he looked to heaven his eyes were crossed--hmmm, just pretending to pray.
8. Yes, if you listen and pay attention, the language does seem to have some rudimentry meaning. My opinion is the language has few words with many meanings. You take that Akita! word for instance. Everybody seems to use it and know what it means. It has three consonents (did I spell that right?) and therefore comes from three different words. You would think these guys had a lot of one word sentences. I reckon if you said more than five words you were considered long winded.
9. Interesting story line. One of the blond bombs escapes sacrifice and this is the story of her escaping the zealot and the zealot tracking her down no matter how far away she runs or how many people he gets kills finding her. After all, if he doesn't find and kill her the sun will never return to normal. This is a fine story line and it works.
10. Another interesting possibilitly is the people the blond take up with seem to either ignore the sun's change or else that is why they are throwing that dance party later in the afternoon. If I were a caveman I think dancing around a lot would work better than..."Akita, oodalla, neikro!" This means "Uh oh, the sun's spazing out. There's a cutie to sacrifice. Well, that's it for her!"
11. There are indeed a couple of subplots here. Basically they are a fine addition to the story. I won't go into detail here...oh yes, I heard that the brunette--who was the leading man's woman--was a 'miss hotty' in Europe when this was shot. She supposed to have been their 'Scarlet O'Hara' at the time of this film.
12. Yes, the swimsuits are small. On the cutties they look 'real' small.
13. Victoria Vetri is the lead female and believe it or not I did detect some acting--watch her face...to. The only brown eyed blond I ever seen...afterall cavewomen have not yet discovered hair dye yet.
14. Jumping close to the end of the movie...you remember that volcano I was telling you about that they never showed on camera? And the several other times it either blots out, changes the shape of, or disfigures the sun...well its about to have its day. Unseen, the underwater part of the volcano blows up. A sesmic water wave fifty or so feet tall makes it showing. Naturally when all the cavemen and cavewomen see it coming they must try to out run it by running along side the ocean. You know it's coming in because all the water is draining off the beach. Oh well, nobody said cavemen were overly intelligent.
15. I liked the funeral scene...not a bad way to go with the whole village standing around saluting your body as they pour fuel over you. Light it up with a torch and push it out to sea with the appropriate music. Hmmm, not bad at all. Maybe that's where the Vikings got it. I mean, you take the village leader, tall, strong, fine shape and red headed. A nice stern look on his face during the funeral. Give that guy a shield and battleaxe and you have Eric the Red. Hmmm, I think you guys should study that funeral scene a few times...I don't think I've ever seen it better done except in that movie (I think it was...) The Vikings.
16. The quicksand scene: Yes there is such a thing underwater and is considered incredibly deadly--ask anybody in National Geographic.
17. Man eating crabs? Finely done. I've heard that these armour plated spiders have a ten foot long leg spread on the bottom of the ocean. (They do have some 'real' monsters down there yea know.)
CONS:
Regardless of the other reviews throwing off on this movie--I feel it is carried through to its' conclusion with all subplots tight up nicely. done. The writer should have done a little more study on the language part. I think he did...just not enough.
So all in all, this is a four or five star movie. The writing is there, the idea is there and carried out just fine. The acting (believe it or not) is right on target. They had enough money and everybody did their part. The special effects are on target and despite the sexy over tones they take a back seat to the story--good, that's how it should be done.
So why do I give five stars to a four star movie...well, the funeral.
I felt a slight tightening in my throat...who would have thought it?
There it is. I'm not sure I can rate this movie down to the level with the other popcorn movies so lets just say a salad bowl of popcorn, two hot dogs and a big drink. Though it is all laid out there for you and requires little thought to figure it out I recommend deeper study, and as we all know deep study of a movie requires both corn and dogs. Bye!
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