Enchanted Self: A Positive Therapy (New Directions in Therapeutic Intervention , Vol 1) (Paperback)

by B. Holstein (Author)
Key Phrases: enchanted self, needs niet, enchanted moments, Enchanted Moments, Aunt Anna, New York (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Review
"...A book I couldn't resist...Written in an easy graceful style that makes it easily accessible... As I read Holstein's book, I thought about how her ideas are related to our need to tell our stories, and especially our stories of joyful discovery, self-realization, achievement and fulfillment-our gifts, graces, and glories." -- Susan Albert,

"...a warm and wise book whose positive message is one we cannot fail to notice. Her therapeutic approach to human growth is compelling because her own personal story is at its core. I highly recommend this book to all therapists and readers who seek relief from pathology-ridden concepts of mental health that often hurt more than they heal." -- Claudia Bepko, MSW, Center for Training, Family Institute of Maine, Co-author of Singing at the Top of Our Lungs

"The Enchanted Self is a mystical journey to a new inner exploration of the lost or forgotten positive aspects of ourselves. The book describes a shared rich partnership between therapist and client toward empowering ourselves to make real changes in our lives." -- Ellen McGrath, American Psychological Assoc., Task Force on Women and Depression

. . . a warm and wise book whose positive message is one we cannot fail to notice. Her therapeutic approach to human growth is compelling because her own personal story is at its core. I highly recommend this book to all therapists and readers who seek relief from pathology-ridden concepts of mental health that often hurt more than they heal.
–Claudia Bepko, MSW, Center for Training, Family Institute of Maine, co-author of Singing at the Top of Our Lungs

...an exciting book that offers the reader original and comprehensive perspectives. Dr. Holstein demonstrates her talents as both writer and psychotherapist for those seeking to access pleasurable and positive states. A groundbreaking approach to personal growth and fulfillment...
–Dr. Irene Deitch of The College of Staten Island, City University of New York

Reclaiming the best times of your life and letting go of the most disturbing, dysfunctional experiences can improve your outlook and well- being.

That's the message delivered by Long Branch psychologist Barbara Becker Holstein in her book, "The Enchanted Self: A Positive Therapy".

Directed primarily at women "The Enchanted Self" asks readers to join Becker Holstein on a journey of personal discovery, a positive examination of their lives that stresses the magic and the uniqueness of the individual. -- Asbury Park Press

The Enchanted Self is a mystical journey to a new inner exploration of the lost or forgotten positive aspects of ourselves. The book describes a shared rich partnership between therapist and client toward empowering ourselves to make real changes in our lives.
–Ellen McGrath, American Psychological Association, Task Force on Women and Depression

Therapists using The Enchanted Self framework no longer see clients as victims or people with various diagnostic labels. Clients are seen instead as "survivors, and as talented wondrous people who come into therapy with various problems and disorders". Although the therapist is still viewed as having professional training and special abilities in working with people, she maintains a sense of mutuality with the client at all times. The client is always seen as a hero or heroine rather than a dysfunctional person. The therapist asks questions and seeks answers in ways that enhance the person instead of limiting the focus to the presenting problem or clearly dysfunctional aspect of the person's life. In this way, even the most difficult life experiences contain information about a person's strengths and capacities to survive.

This book offers a fresh approach to helping our clients heal by retrieving and reintegrating positive aspects of themselves. -- New Jersey Psychologist

Product Description
After listening to her clients mention and then discount the positive events and memories they had experienced in the past and present, Dr. Barbara Holstein realized that psychotherapy, as it is commonly practiced today, focuses almost exclusively on the client's "pathology." Her conclusion that clients cannot feel complete until their strengths, rather than their problems, become the fulcrum for therapy culminated in The Enchanted Self. This new therapy and book, written for therapists and therapy clients, describes how getting in touch with "The Enchanted Self" -- our core of health and strength -- promotes positive change.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 168 pages
• Publisher: Routledge; 1 edition (March 1, 1997)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 9057025035
• ISBN-13: 978-9057025037
• Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 6 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #204,635 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars The Enchanted Self, A Positive Therapy, July 27, 2000

By	Rebecca Trelfa "Virtual Dynamo" (Salisbury, MA USA) - See all my reviews

I am not a therapist but I think that this book is an excellent text and I have learned a great deal about my own "Enchanted Self".

The process in this book delves deep into the experiences that control and make up our lives, and clearly points out that our state of well-being has an effect on how we can learn to cope. The Enchanted Self teaches you how to grow as a person and deal with problems and situations more clearly. It also teaches you how to identify the negative messages that you are carrying that make it harder to maintain your "Enchanted Self", and how positive traits can help you achieve your goals.

It was refreshing to read about a process that reinforces the fact that we must concentrate on the positive (not negative) situations that we encounter. I also enjoyed reading about the experiences of other women like myself.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars For professional and lay readers, February 10, 2001

By	Midwest Book Review (Oregon, WI USA) - See all my reviews

After listening to her clients mention and then discount the positive events and memories they had experienced, Barbara Holstein realized that psychotherapy as it is commonly practiced today focuses almost exclusively on client "pathology". Her conclusion is that clients cannot feel complete until their strengths, rather than their problems, become the fulcrum for therapy . She outlines and details her thoughts on the matter in The Enchanted Self, describing a new therapy designed for both therapists and therapy clients seeking to promote positive change based on a core of psychological and life-experience based health and strength. Also available in hardcover (90-5702-502-7, $56) The Enchanted Self is highly recommended reading for professional and lay readers, especially those whose previous experiences with psychotherapy techniques and traditional approaches have fallen short desired outcomes.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars I Couldn't Resist This Book, January 7, 2008

By	Story Circle Book Reviews (www.storycirclebookreviews.org) - See all my reviews

The Enchanted Self: A Positive Therapy is a book I couldn't resist. It was written by Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, a therapist in Ocean, New Jersey, who believes that many people are unhappy not just because of past hurts and present disappointments, but because they simply cannot remember being happy. While The Enchanted Self is primarily for mental health professionals, it is written in an easy, graceful style that makes it easily accessible, as Holstein shares her own story and clients' stories, and uses them to illustrate her theory of the enchanted self.

What is "the enchanted self"? According to Holstein, it is the "capacity to reclaim, reintegrate, or adapt positive states of being from previous times in our lives into present-day workable, pleasurable, growth-promoting, joyful states of being." It involves experiencing "enchanted moments"--a uniquely joyful feeling that combines older happy memories with present experience in a positive and meaningful way. Holstein explains: "Enchanted memories are different from everyday memories because they have a rich layered quality, derived from a variety of positive memories, sensory images, and present-day attitudes about the experiences themselves." In other words, enchanted moments are those times when we are in touch with a self that is whole, happy, and creative--the enchanted self.

But reclaiming the enchanted self is not an easy, and certainly not a painless, task. Holstein's enchanted self emerged through a long therapeutic process, "unpeeling as an onion is unpeeled," she says, "layer by layer," as she began to discover more and more of her own past and present happiness, buried beneath past hurts and feelings of violation. Having learned for herself some ways to get in touch with that core of happy contentment, she began sharing her insights with clients, asking them to tell her about the times when they had felt most whole, centered, balanced, joyful--to tell her their happiest stories, in other words. Retrieving those moments, reliving them, she says, is a first step toward reclaiming wholeness and balance in the present life.

As I read Holstein's book, I thought about how her ideas are related to our need to tell our stories, and especially our stories of joyful discovery, self-realization, achievement and fulfillment--our gifts, graces, and glories. Recalling past positive moments and putting them into writing (or translating them into your favorite medium--painting, textiles, dance, song, etc.) can be a way of accessing more present joy. This doesn't mean that we bury or deny our past hurts; but it does suggest that it is helpful to reframe them (to use Holstein's term) by seeing our traumas in the light of our strengths. I am reminded of a friend's long, sad story about her husband's death from cancer, which she summarized in one glorious sentence: "It was a terrible time--but oh, how much I grew from it! I thought I was too weak to live without him. Now I know just how strong I am!"

I also thought of some of my favorite women's memoirs, most of which involve the pain of disappointment and the anguish of loss--translated into the compelling joy of self-discovery. I thought of Mary Karr's Liar's Club, for instance. Karr's is a wild story of violence, alcoholism, and childhood rape, but in all the craziness she finds an unsentimental joy, and emerges whole (but not unscathed) from her turbulent past. In the end, her demons are (mostly) exorcised by her telling, and she has created some enchanted moments. I thought of Lucy Grealey's Autobiography of a Face, which tells the story of her childhood disfigurement by cancer, and the self-understanding she ultimately achieves. I thought of Gretel Erlich's chronicle, A Match to the Heart, of a woman struck by lightning. Enchanted selves, discovered in a dark mirror? Yes, yes.

In her newsletter, The Enchanted Self, Holstein offers two exercises that are also story-telling exercises (reprinted with her permission). Try them, and see if they help you come closer to that part of you that is your enchanted self.

Exercise 1: This exercise involves making positive deposits into your memory bank. Over the next few days, stay alert to when you are in a good mood. Try to use all of your senses to experience the present more fully, especially when you become aware of a "potential deposit". When the moment is right, ask yourself the following questions. What is going on? Does it remind you of other good times in your life? Can you list several of these earlier events? What were the best parts of these earlier experiences? Take the time to describe them, perhaps writing them down or dictating them into a tape recorder. Now gradually refocus your mind on the present. What are you seeing? What are the smells? What are the sounds? How do these sensations make you feel? Try to be aware of the details, taking the time to savor them as you deposit them into your memory bank. If writing or dictating a narrative does not come easily to you, try drawing a picture, writing a poem, or composing a tune. Just do something to capture the moment in a way that is most meaningful to you. Your abilities as an artist, writer, or composer are less important than your desire to relish life.

Exercise 2: This exercise is about withdrawing positive memories from your memory bank. No matter how dysfunctional one's life is, each of us has experienced moments that were good and possibly inspirational. To fully appreciate these memories, we sometimes need the courage to let go of their dysfunctional aspects, revising them to emphasize positive elements. Scan your memory bank for a memory. Let go of any negative feelings around it, focusing on its inherent beauty and the good things that may have come about afterwards. Relish the part of the memory that has some enchantment. Use your senses. How did your body feel? What were the sounds and smells? What did you see? Remember that the pain is a part of the distant past. Enjoy what is best about this memory before you let it go.

by Susan Wittig Albert
for Story Circle Book Reviews
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reviewing books by, for, and about women