|
11 of 13 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Virus can be fun!, January 24, 2001
Virus may seem like a god-awful movie at first, but with just a little work, you can make it surprisingly tolerable. Upon renting Virus, I decided to make it a little more interesting by playing a little drinking game. The game had the following rules (all based on the contents of the movie, incidentally): 1.) Every time the music swells for no reason whatsoever to heighten the "spooky" atmosphere -- take a drink. 2.) Every time Jamie Lee Curtis (she has a job on a boat -- and she's a WOMAN!) has an in-your-face confrontation with a male authority figure -- take a drink. 3.) Every time Jamie Lee Curtis is rescued by a male authority figure -- take a drink. 4.) Every scene Jamie Lee Curtis stops talking and starts screaming -- take a drink. 5.) Every time they pull the old "cat trick" (OH NO LOOK OUT BALDWIN CLONE -- oh, whew, it's just the cat!) -- take a drink. 6.) Every time the token Macho Black Guy says something macho ("I'm gonna mess you up, giant robot sucka") -- take a drink. 7.) Every time someone yells "It's gonna blow!" -- take a drink. 8.) Every time a rock-stupid supporting character hears a mysterious sound from an air vent and responds by sticking his damn hand in there -- take a drink. 9.) Every time a rock-stupid supporting character gets himself killed by attempting the previous, or something similar, or just because it's been ten minutes and no extras have died yet -- take a drink. 10.) Every time the characters enter a room full of billowing smoke, flashing lights, and random sparks (man, who hired the electrician for all these abandoned starships and boats, anyway?) -- take a drink. Yes, Virus is an offensive mishmash of cliches, pounded sternly into something resembling a script, and filmed -- evidently in great haste -- for your viewing pleasure. If you like monster movies, Virus does have one thing going for it, and that's a pretty impressive Giant Robot Thing at the end. But the rest is swill. Trite, recycled, boring, warmed-over swill. You've seen this movie so many times you can probably -- oh, let's say -- make a drinking game based on it, without seeing the movie first -- and be right about almost all of it. Try not to watch it sober if you can help it at all. Incidentally, the movie does contain all these moments, in spades -- so play this game while watching Virus and your entertainment is practically guaranteed. Otherwise, you're on your own.
|