Most Helpful Customer Reviews
|
|
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
"Oh my God! They're herding us like cattle!", June 15, 2004
Run for the hills (or the Raid)! Bert I. Gordon, aka Mr. Big (due to his penchant for making films involving giant creatures, and also, it's his initials), brings on some serious cinematic pain with his rendition of author H.G. Wells story Empire of the Ants (1977). Other cinematic examples of Gordon's super-sizing include Beginning of the End (1957), The Amazing Colossal Man (1957), Earth vs the Spider (1958), Attack of the Puppet People (1958), and The Food of the Gods (1976). Gordon, certainly a man of many hats, not only wrote (adapted from an H.G. Wells story), directed and produced the film, but he also was in charge of the special effects. The film stars Joan Collins of TV's Dynasty, Robert Lansing, whose television credits are too numerous to mention but is most familiar to me from the 1959 film 4D Man, and perennial 70's television stars John David Carlson and Jacqueline Scott.
In the beginning we get some painfully obvious foreshadowing involving stock footage, along with voice over, showing ants busy at work. We then cut to workers in HAZMAT suits on a boat, dumping clearly marked barrels of radioactive waste in the water. We see one of the barrels wash up on shore, as the ominous music plays on...Cut to preparations being made for an excursion by yacht to view swampy properties for sale, sponsored by some realty company called Dreamland Properties, or some such thing. It's here we meet Marilyn Fryer (Collins), the woman in charge. How do we know this? Because she's being a real pain in the rear, basically telling everyone she's the boss, especially Dan Stokely (Lansing), the captain of the boat, who, by the way, wears a lovely earring (yargh, I'm a pirate!) throughout the film (man, the 70's were weird). Soon the prospective suckers...er, I mean buyers show up, and what a charming lot they seem to be...adulterers, freeloaders, and just general sleezy characters all around, and they're off, leisure suits and all. They arrive at a pier, disembark from the yacht, and proceed to a tent to get liquored up (ply the rubes with free booze, and the property sells itself, I guess). Everyone then gets on a two-car tram, and tool around, while Marilyn, sitting in the front of the tram, all of about 3 or 4 feet from the clients, starts yelling into a megaphone in case anyone is hard of hearing (if they weren't, they are now). Earlier we saw the drum of radioactive waste wash up on the beach, and we also saw it beginning to leak silver paint, er...I mean radioactive waste, and we also saw ants wallowing around in the oozing material. That can't be good...I mean, if 1950's sci-fi (and Bert I. Gordon) taught us anything, it's that radioactive materials generally have the effect of `embiggening' things. Well, sure enough, the ants exposed to the stuff become humongoid, and start picking off hapless members of this little outing. All I could think was this wasn't going to be good for the realty business, what with the radioactive waste and giants ants. Well, the remaining members of the party discover, to their horror, what ate up their former companions, and rush back to the yacht, only to find it overrun with giant ants. After awhile, they decide to make their way to a nearby river, and we lose a few more members. I have to say, there was something completely satisfying about seeing Joan Collins wallow around in swampy river water. Anyway, they finally make it back to civilization of sorts, try to relate their harrowing tale of escape, but find the town to be oddly apathetic to the news that giant ants are headed their way. Why? Well, this is where picking up on the foreshadowing at the beginning of the film pays off...
In terms of the special effects, the whole rear-projection enlargement technique was fairly well dated by the late 70's, but still managed to work well here at some points, but the noticeable difference in that technique and the use of prop ants certainly delineated the differences in the sizes of the ants. One method use would make them appear as big as a bus, while another would make them seem a large as a man. The actors all seem pretty bored and given they spent a fair amount of time futzing around in a swamp, I am sure they probably figured at some point they weren't getting paid nearly enough. The script, well, is pretty hideous. Inane remarks, pointless declarations, and lame characterizations only serve to make so very obvious who was going to be ant fodder. And not a likeable character in the bunch ensured the audience rooted for the ants, as this particular society really didn't seem worth saving. I did enjoy the sort of twist element near the end, even though it was telegraphed so obviously at the beginning of the film, giving this schlockery a bit of originality and a nice little spin within the genre. I have to say, I did get annoyed early on with some of the sound effects. The ants had two basic effects working, one being a persistent chirping which would indicate their presence nearby, and a screaming sound when they were attacking or being attacked. This second one was definitely the more annoying of the two, as it was akin to having a woman scream in your ear every ten seconds. A nice throwback to the 50's, but if you're into giant ants, go watch Them! (1954).
MGM provides a nice look wide screen anamorphic print here, and special features include an original theatrical trailer for the film. I guess if I learned anything from Empire of the Ants, it's that if you are ever running through the swamp with Joan Collins, fleeing giant ants, and she gets her sweater caught, don't stop to help her, as she won't return the favor.
Cookieman108
|
|
|
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Classic B-Movie starring Joan Collins, February 20, 1999
1977 B-Movie starring Joan Collins, who gives free cruises to people in hopes they will invest in a soon to be built tourist dreamland. The only problem is the island that "Dreamland Shores" is located on is also occupied by huge ants. Contains all the elements you want in a classic b-movie, such as huge mutated insects, fantastic dialog, low-budget special effects, and an actress (in this case Joan Collins) who went on to bigger things and probably wants this movie to be forgotten.Based on H.G. Wells book of the same title. Also features Robert Pine of "CHiPS" fame.
|
|
|
4 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Joan Collins is the real queen of the mound, October 9, 2004
Hold onto your wits and hold on for a wild ride as Joan Collins leads the way on this South Florida adventure. Joan is in the real-estate business, actually she's a con artist trying to sell worthless swampland to anyone that will listen. The would-be customers gather on the boat for a free ride and refreshments. Once at the location, the high pressure sales pitch begins. Little do they know that some ants have been swimming in radioactive waste and are now the size of Cadillacs.
Joan looks lovely running through the woods and going down the river in a rowboat. She's very sexy when she sweats profusely. Not everyone in her party is as fortunate as her though. An elderly couple who can't keep up bite the dust. Also a husband who decides it's cheaper to sacrifice a wife than pay for a divorce watches his wife get devoured. No real loss for him, he already had his eyes on another chick in the little band.
Well the ending is pretty weird. Seems the whole town is under the control of the ants thanks to some kind of Brain washing gas that the people get a whiff of when placed in a glass box with the Queen Ant. Alas poor Joan doesn't make it out of the box. The ant decides she'd rather make a good meal.
I love Joan Collins and got this movie only because of her. She once said this was the most grueling part she ever played. If you like Joan too, I highly suggest this little gem of a film.
|
|
|
Most Recent Customer Reviews
|
DVD ~ Ray Milland
DVD ~ Charlton Heston
DVD ~ Rod Taylor
DVD ~ Strother Martin
DVD ~ William Shatner
Visit our huge selection of magazine subscriptions often to see the latest special offers and bonuses. Check out magazines like
The New Yorker,
Wired, and
Vanity Fair. 
