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14 of 14 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars
"Fasten Your Drool Cups; I Have Mine.", May 29, 2004
I knew I was in for quite a ride when the first thing seen in a film is a narrator telling me to affix a drool cup to my chin. This is an interesting movie: so badly made and edited that it is like a car wreck in that you want to turn away, but you just stare transfixed by the ghastliness of it. The complete title of the film is actually "Geek Maggot Bingo, Or, The Freak From Suckweasel Mountain." The cast list includes Donna Death as Scumbelina (Donna also is the film's caterer), Gumby Spangler as Flavian Quagmire, and Quasimodo Residue as the kitten. Nick Zedd produced, wrote, directed, filmed and edited the film, so he's ultimately the responsible party.The film is set on Suckweasel Mountain in a castle next to Ugly Pond painted poorly on a canvas backdrop, as are almost all sets. The effect is a surreal spectacle that makes the viewer look for hidden things in the tawdriness. For example, every phone in this film is made of cardboard and is grotesquely oversized: using them is quite a spectacle unto itself. The premise is that the evil genius, Dr. Frankenberry is trying to create a super-human via 'cosmic regeneration'. In the beginning of the film this process has allegedly produced a cute kitten, "Quasimodo Residue", dyed pink and blue, who blissfully ignores the onscreen mayhem taking place around it. The insanity of Dr. Frankenberry makes Dean Quagmire fire him from the university, therefore he hires a Quasimodo impersonator named "Gecko" (but pronounced Geek-o), to assist him in his evil experiments. Gecko needs to procure bodies for Dr. Frankenberry, so he obtains them by posing as a nose-picking transvestite prostitute, and returning his victims to the lab in his handbag. All of this action takes place while music apparently from 'Popeye' plays in the background, creating an odd juxtaposition. The victims of Gecko's clever scheme end up in what is easily the worst lab set I have ever seen. It makes Dr. Neon's lab from 'The Wild, Wild World of Batwoman' look like the Sandia National Laboratory. Adding further to the avant-garde nature of the film is the fact that Dr. Frankenberry sounds exactly like Bobby "Boris" Pickett of "Monster Mash" fame if he were on amphetamines. Ultimately Buffy Frankenberry, the Doctor's daughter, has ethical questions about his experiments and refuses to cooperate in his attempt to create a superman out of a small octopus and lump of bleu cheese. She instead flees to the comforting embrace of her boyfriend, Flavian, who, coincidentally, is the worst actor in motion picture history. Unfortunately, Flavian has been bitten by the stupidest looking bat I have seen in a while and is now a vampire under the spell of Scumbelina. (See, it all makes sense...because...er, never mind.) Gecko is also bitten by the bat while a stuffed squirrel and chipmunk puppet cheer. He vows to be Scumbelina's mole and report on Dr. Frankenberry's doings. The vampire trio kidnap Buffy, which, logically, causes Dr. Frankenberry to make a 'Formaldehyde Man' using the human life force energy transferred from a cowboy, "The Rawhide Kid", who wanders onto the set looking for a drink. Frankenberry gets him plastered to get him to go back to his lab. Unfortunately for the audience, The Kid sings us a Salvador Daliesque song, which I feel needs to be seen to believe, so here it is: I met her in a gay bar stoned on oatmeal,
I can still recall those training pants she wore. She was smellin' kinda' funny in her muu muu,
And I knew we really lost the Vietnam War.
My Pooh Bear said I'd pick my nose forever,
She said to me that Rolaids made her high,
But who'd have thought she'd boogie on 'The Gong Show',
She sent a hired thug to say goodbye. In the last few minutes of the film The Kid lassoes Gecko and suspends him from the ceiling by his hump, which provokes Frankenberry to call him a "weinerhead". The super human, "Homo Superior", goes on a rampage and general mayhem exists for a little while, which (in part) includes skeletal decomposition via the power of scrubbing bubbles, musket fire, and death by being flung into a badly animated void. In the end everything works out, and the audience breathes a collective sigh of relief after the 73 minutes are over. This is a very bad movie, made in Brooklyn, NY for next to nothing. It is not good (at all) but has Ed Wood entertainment value. It would undoubtedly be R rated, and is definitely only for adults. I will not recommend it, but specific audiences will adore it, though most people would not enjoy it at all. If you want to see something completely different, you might want to try 'Geek Maggot Bingo'. Then again, maybe not. The DVD also comes with a couple of extra shorts made by the same people. One is a very bad 'Lord of the Rings' parody. If you like Tolkein, you might like it; I found it insufferable. There is one titled 'Elf Panties', about an elf who owns 1730 pairs of panties, and changes them all the time. That's it. Well, she does telepathically communicate with the purple Teletubbie while wearing her Teletubbies panties, but you get the idea. The girl is pretty, but the whole bit is a bit lowbrow and unappealing. Finally there is 'Thus Spake Zarathrustra', complete with credit line "Written by Jon Vomit. Based on the book by F.W. Nietzsche." It is basically one long black and white angst ridden music video featuring bands like "Fear of Dolls", "Amniotic Miasma", and "Zyklon Beatles". It is very boring and contains zero dialogue, though there are captions such as "I'm not into monkeys. She's the one who is anti-shaving." Two words: skip it.
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DVD ~ Christopher George
~ Nick Zedd
DVD ~ Anthony James
DVD ~ Kieran O'Brien
DVD ~ Neil Patrick Harris
