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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
The Humor Of Gluteal Crepitation, April 9, 2007
"Ed" is beyond bad: it is well into the realm of legend. You might not have expected that a well-funded Hollywood production could be so wretched,but you will become convinced once you have seen it. LeBlanc plays "Deuce," a country bumpkin turned minor league baseball player. The back story is well established with LeBlanc on his farm milking cows and refusing to eat ham that came from his favorite pig. He wears a John Deere cap (I honestly hope John Deere didn't actually pay for this ill-conceived product placement) to further establish the character. The cap makes LeBlanc look as much like a farmer as a tutu would make Marlon Brando look like a ballerina.
Deuce gets signed by a minor league club, the Rockets, and is quickly assigned to live with the new mascot and third baseman, Ed Sullivan, a chimpanzee. Needless to say, Ed is hilarious (in theory) and gets into all sorts of wacky situations. Most of the situations are at the comedic level of the Three Stooges (if they had lobotomies) and feature such antics as forced toupee removal, making Deuce eat dog food, and lots and lots of flatus. Not only is the humor of gluteal crepitation repeatedly highlighted, but other bathroom-related issues regularly emerge. Thank goodness Ed knows how to use deodorizer spray!
Ed initially is a mascot, but longs to play ball. After an official rules that "there's no rule requiring a player to be a Homo sapiens" Ed becomes the third baseman. Needless to say, this can't go without plot thickening, and after Ed is traded by the idiot toupee-wearing owner's son, there are multiple monkeynappings and chimp electrocutions. Along the way, there's a dreadful romance subplot, as Ed and an annoying child actress teach Deuce about love and life. Also be sure not to miss a special guest appearance by Tommy Lasorda, and a tearjerker of a hospital scene after Ed nearly freezes to death in a banana truck. (Don't ask.) Fortunately for the cast, all ends well, though viewers may be emotionally scarred for life. Actually viewers are unlikely to recall much about the film inasmuch as the desire to sleep is nearly overpowering after the first ten minutes or so.
The film did leave me with a couple of questions, aside from the obvious one, "Who thought this was a good enough idea to fund?" The single question I am most curious about is why is Matt LeBlanc orange? I mean really, really orange. It's like he only ate carrots for a month before making the film, or perhaps used some kind of beta carotene face paint. Why would the director or makeup artists want him to look that way?
The film features the much more talented Zach Ward (billed as "Zacharias Ward" and of "Titus" fame) as a supporting player. There were a few other genuinely talented actors present in the credits, although I'm sure they have grave retrospective reservations about their roles in this mess.
The DVD also comes with a dreadful black and white short titled "Perfect Control," which features Babe Ruth teaching school kids how to play baseball, and an unseemly appearance by the algebra teacher. You'll have to watch it to see how bad it is: better yet, don't watch it, or, for that matter, "Ed" either.
This is a film with the power to make a sports fan hate baseball for life. I recommend staying far away from this cinematic travesty at all costs.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Too bad monkeys *didn't* make this movie..., January 28, 2005
Jack "Deuce" Cooper (Matt LeBlanc) is a minor league baseball pitcher who's got the goods, but no self-confidence. Instead of looking up Dr. Phil, the team manager decides that a simian teammate is just what strike-out Deuce needs for a boost. Enter Ed, a chimp who's got more talent in his elongated little finger than the whole team put together. Ed's antics, including scarfing down chocolate-covered bananas and pulling toupees off of bald heads, were all "aped" by men in monkey suits and animatronics. Unfunny slapstick makes this DVD a real strike-out.
Staci Layne Wilson
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Annoying, Kiddie, The worst movie I've ever seen!, May 14, 1999
By A Customer
Everything about Ed is terrible! The sound fx are worse than a low cost skit show. King Kong looks more realistic than Ed. It is SO obvious he's a robot! Ed also has a weak, flimsy plot.
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