Most Helpful Customer Reviews
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24 of 24 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars
Better than her other movie!, January 14, 2004
In Anna's final movie (why?), she plays Carrie the helicopter pilot with fake fingernails. "Skyscraper" (1997) is directed by the same genius who brought us Anna's other blockbuster -1995's "To The Limit". Both movies are similar(wow, really?) in that Anna uses a gun, she gets naked a few times, and attempts to act too much. Oh yeah, there's also a really evil guy and a lot of explosions. If I must choose between the two for entertainment value, I'm going with Skyscraper. Not only does Anna have more nude scenes in this one, her acting (and everyone elses) is even more hilarious (if you actually watch it with sound!). Also there aren't as many long stretches of "acting" and "explosions". Bottom line, a laughably bad acted movie with breasts, guns, and things exploding. Enjoy!
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15 of 16 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars
SKYSCRAPER: bargain-basement entertainment!, March 4, 2004
Ye Gods! After hearin' from so many folks about how bad this flick is-- and after hearing a few audio outtakes from the opening scene that Howard Stern played on his radio show-- I knew I just hadda give `Skyscraper' a looksee! Hey, what can I say: I'm a glutton for punishment when it comes to craptacular cinema. Anyhoo, I pretty much knew them folks were right about how lame this flick was the moment I caught Anna-Nicole's glossy-blood-red-painted-nailed hand workin' the control stick of her chopper during the opening credits sequence! The rest of the proceedings pretty much followed the plot & story line of `Die Hard' to a `T'... except not nearly as well-done or as well-acted. Or with as big a pyrotechnics budget. And if you're wonderin' `bout what parallels there are between `Skyscraper' and `Die Hard'-- or, to be more accurate, stuff that `Skyscraper' baldly ripped right off of `Die Hard'-- I'll throw ya several examples:
- The bad guys blow up a few floors of the building they're holed up in to show folks they mean business.
- One of the heavies takes a bazooka to a couple of would-be rescuers.
- The main heavy's minions can't seem to get their sorta Euro-sounding accents straight. The primary example of the inconsistent linguistics is the computer-hacker henchman whose brogue is primarily French-sounding, but also seems to slip in a bit of British and German here `n' there.
- The heavies (yep, them again) use the building's central computer & security system to seal the skyscraper off from the outside world as well as track the movement of its occupants.
- One weasely hostage tries to wheel-&-deal his way to freedom with the head heavy, but winds up gettin' a bullet through a vital organ for his troubles.
- Anna-Nicole's character does the "escape-from-the-heavies-by-rappelling-down-the-side-of-the-building-and-crashing-through-a-window-on-a-lower-floor" deal with a window-washing-scaffolding line; much like Willis' character did with a reel of emergency fire hose.
There're plenty more examples I could give, but I'm gonna leave it up to you to pick `em out... if you dare! Needless to say, watchin' this 96-minute-long cheese-fest left me with an immense feeling of déjà vu...
Finally, we come to the star of this catastrophe: Anna-Nicole Smith, whose incessantly-pouty mug and ditzed-up southern drawl showed me why she never became a major force in Hollywood. Her less-than-enthusiastic recitation of her lines and that constant expression of sullen disgust (probably from her downers wearin' off) didn't help matters, either. And don't even get me started on her nudie/boink scenes, which featured far more plastic than actual flesh, with a nice dollop of hydrogen peroxide thrown in for good measure.
Anyhoo, time for me to wind this review up. Now that I've steeled myself by watching this unholy hellspawn of a mo-pic, I'm pretty sure I can endure `Leonard Part 6'.
Wish me luck folks...
`Late
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14 of 15 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Run....Don't Walk to your Local Video Store, January 1, 2006
While most movies try to tackle only one genre, Skyscraper eschews this traditional approach and has the courage to be a thriller, a comedy, a drama and soft-core porn. The "ample talents" of "super-celebrity Anna Nicole Smith" are brought out by not one but two directors, because one director was not enough to exploit her many layers.
Although Skyscraper inexplicably does not make the AFI Top 100 list, one can only assume this is due to its ineligibility as a direct-to-video release. Some (or at least I) have found myself repeating dialogue from this movie on many occasions. The film's message is captured in one of the most poignant lines in film ever written: "Well excuse me for believing in Sunday walks in the park and little babies." Ms. Smiths' delivery of the line will be sure to make you hit rewind several times.
Many have pointed out all of the cinematic flaws - the obvious low-budget features, such as the use of gutted junkyard cars for the many exploding automobile scenes - but I think these people are missing the bigger messages of the movie.
Unlike most Hollywood-type movies where the starlet has an unattainable beauty that often leaves women viewers feeling inadequate, Skyscraper allows you to leave the theater and feel that you, too, could eat a box of doughnuts every day for a year and still be more beautiful than Ms. Smith. She's a positive role model for women everywhere.
But the true star of this cult favorite is the makeup artist, showing us that women can be anything they strive for - porn star, helicopter pilot or fighter of terrorism - while still having matching Botox-ed lips and 5-inch Lee Press-On nails.
I am glad that three of the stars of this movie chose to produce it, so that the profits from its sale would not fall into the hands of the same Hollywood moguls who have given us countless cookie-cutter thrillers in the past.
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