|
|
12 of 12 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars
Discombobulated & Disappointing, February 23, 2004
Okay, a man suffers a terrible demonic experience in the woods and winds up committed to an asylum, where he desperately clutches a protective device. The protective device is taken from him, and he suffers the long-delayed vengeance of the infernal powers. Sound familiar?It should, especially if you've seen the old movie EQUINOX, from which 13TH CHILD snagged its plot. The trouble is, 13TH CHILD doesn't make a lick o' sense. It even throws in the major plot "surprise" of the old Hammer film CURSE OF THE MUMMY'S TOMB, and only adds to the confusion thereby. (SPOILER ALERT: Skip to the next paragraph NOW if you haven't seen this movie yet.) Cliff Robertson turns out to be the Jersey Devil's immortal brother, and the Devil is cursed to exist as long as Cliff lives. Guillaume shoots Cliff, and the Devil and Cliff vanish. Then, in the classic cliched tradition of the last "jump" before the end credits, they return without rhyme, reason or explanation to wreak some final havoc. The trouble is, the plot has so many holes that the Jersey Devil could fly through them with both wings spread out to maximum, without even touching the sides. We see Riley (Robert Guillaume) committed to a state mental institution (unimaginatively dubbed "New Jersey Mental Health Facility"); trouble is, later in the movie he shows up in the Pine Barrens in the good ol' nick of time to save the day. Except he never left the asylum! So how did he get out in the woods? and how did he wind up back in the asylum afterwards? A piece of truly idiotic writing, which is doubly disappointing since star Cliff Robertson receives co-writing credit! What truly makes watching 13TH CHILD such a frustrating experience is the fact that a lot of good talent went to waste, as well as the brilliant idea of shooting the film in the Pine Barrens, long the JD's legendary home. The location work adds some much-needed atmosphere and a sense of creepy, lurking menace. The peformances are excellent, and much of the banter between Kathryn, Ron and Mitch has a lot of snap, humor & characterization. Although the plot is creaky and incomplete, one senses a good story waiting in the wings. Sadly, it never appears. Instead, we're treated to cops who routinely practice illegal entry and illegal search & seizure, a lot of pointless closeups of snakes and spiders (ooh! creepy!) and long-winded go-nowhere monologues from Robertson. Sadly, the film even betrays its own logic since (2ND SPOILER ALERT - SKIP TO NEXT PARAGRAPH IF YOU DON'T WANT THE PLOT GIVEN AWAY) the Devil is traced back to a Lenni-Lenape shaman (bad folklore here, folks) and then presents the highly Caucasian Mr. Robertson as the Devil's brother! The Devil is even given a name, Bruno! Not a very Amerind name, now is it? The film never even explains the "Indian bones" that have protected Guillaume from Robertson's vengeance. A big deal is made out of them, but no back story is ever provided. The director mostly does a fine job keeping the film going, and the Devil himself is no letdown when we finally see him. He's a creepy, impressive monster. It's just a shame the writers couldn't come up with a plot that could hold an ounce of water, much less blood. There's even a nice twist on the "naked lovers surprised by the evil force" scene, obligatory ever since HALLOWEEN and FRIDAY THE 13TH. All in all, 13TH CHILD VOLUME ONE will probably be the last volume. And if there are any more scripts like this one in the works, maybe that's a good thing. One HUGE caveat: the DVD is advertised as widescreen, but it's actually coded only in fullscreen mode. You can search the root menu until your fingers turn into Jersey Devil claws without finding this option.
|
by James F. McCloy
by Geoffrey Girard
DVD ~ David Beard
DVD ~ John Cusack
DVD ~ Lance Henriksen
