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11 of 13 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
There are some bad movies you have to see just to believe, April 10, 2003
I remember watching the trailer for "Tarzan the Ape Man" and be so impressed by the shot of a half naked figure on an exotic beach. To this day I think that shot of Miles O'Keeffe as Tarzan, rising majestically from his crouch, is the single most impressive shot in a Trazan film in the history of the world. The problem, of course, is that despite the title this 1981 film from director John Derek is supposed to be showcasing his wife, Bo Derek, who plays Jane. You would think that have a great looking Tarzan in a Tarzan movie would be a good thing, but he ends up being only secondary eye candy in this film.Granted, "Tarzan the Ape Man" is a legendary bad film, but it is the sort of bad film that you really have to see to believe. You can have a lot of fun laughing at a movie. In terms of Tarzan films this goes back to the Johnny Weismuller approach; actually, it goes beyond, because this Tarzan says absolutely nothing, which would be the Elmo Lincoln approach I guess. More importantly, he looks like if he had to go hand-to-hand with a great ape he would end up standing at the end (compare him to Christopher Lambert in "Greystoke: The Legend of Tarzan," which is still the film version that best embodies the original Edgar Rice Burroughs novel). The big irony here is that if Bo Derek said nothing the film would be greatly improved; the problem with this film is not so much the visual images as the lousy dialogue (this is symbolized by the fact that the film begins with Tarzan's yell replacing the roar of the MGM lion in the opening credit). Bo shared the Razzie Award for Worst Actress with Faye Dunaway in "Mommie Dearest"; this film might have been bad but it managed to avoid winning any other awards, leaving those honors (or lacks thereof) to the likes of "Heaven's Gate" and Klinton Spilsbury in "The Legend of the Lone Ranger." Richard Harris plays Jane's father and tries gamely to bring some dignity and intelligence to the film, but Bo's babe in the woods act keeps bringing the film crashing down (when she starts crying about getting painted white near the end of the film is when I lost it). I had a friend who insisted that this was supposed to be a comedy, an outright spoof, and that nobody should be taken it literally. I have to disagree. They thought this was going to be a more sensual version of the Tarzan story, more like "The Blue Lagoon" for grown ups than anything else. However, the black & white films that Weismuller made with Maureen O'Sullivan in the early 1930s during the pre-Code era are still the sexiest Tarzan films ever made. As Bo Derek amply proves in this film, there is such a thing as showing too much skin. The rating for this film has to do with its unintended entertainment value and not its quality. Again, there are simply some films in the Bottom 100 of all time that you have to see to appreciate why they have found their appropriate place in cinematic history.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
Tarzan is Hot Suff,Man!, July 30, 2000
Geez!...I like Bo Derek,she's a total stunner but man that Miles O'Keeffe,WOW! .The story was,I suppose,was loosely adapted from the original Burroughs,but what a twist.I have to say both Derek and O'Keeffe looked just perfect together but that Tarzan in that tiny little loincloth was almost too much to handle,the body,the face,the hair not to mention the tan and the fact he does not utter one word throughout the entire film makes it even hotter.True the film is a shocker in the storytelling department but the fact is the two leads are just superb,the cinematography is lush and the music dramatic so,in my mind these things more than compensate for it so,in my book,as a gay man it rates right up there as a real erotic film without the obvious cheers!
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7 of 8 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
BO-ring!!!!, December 28, 2004
Possibly one of the worst movies ever made, Bo and John Derek managed to massacre the Tarzan legend while wreaking cinematic havoc with this unbelievably bad waste of celluloid. Where to begin....the lousy script, the poopy cinematography, the atrocious acting....I can't think of enough adjectives to describe how putrid this actually is. As for erotic - forget it. Jane should have boffed the ape instead. Jane and papa head through the jungle, delayed by her repeated falls into the river. Despite the time period, when women were supposed to be modest, Jane doesn't seem to know what underwear is. Yeesh. I can't believe people actually paid to see this tripe. If you must watch it, rent it and save some $. You'll be glad you did
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