Most Helpful Customer Reviews
|
|
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars
Beware the Kingdom of the Spider, May 5, 2005
Miles O'Keefe stars as the title character in this Conan rip-off. Ator is the prophesied son of a god and destined to destroy the Ancient One. But his future and the mark of his destiny have been hidden by a mysterious warrior. On his wedding day, Ator witnesses the destruction of his village by the Black Knights, warriors from the Kingdom of the Spider. His bride has been taken captive and Ator swears he will rescue her.
Ator has a one track mind in his quest to rescue his bride. He trains with the mysterious warrior and sets out to the rescue. The evil kingdom is headed by a strange priest who likes to stroke tarantulas. Oddly enough, even though it is the Kingdom of the Spider, their symbol seems to be an eagle. Meanwhile Ator gets closer and closer and goes through typical sword & Sorcery trials until the final confrontation with one of the worst special effects in film history.
Miles may have a good build, but his hair has got to go in this movie. He keeps looking like he is in drag. During the wedding scene we see some very well executed dancing only to move right into badly executed fighting. This is also the only film I have ever seen where a victim is tied, actually tied with rope, to a spider web (what, it's not sticky?). In the end some viewers will have had fun with this one, either with heckling it or just outright laughing at it. But if you are looking for good Sword & Sorcery, this one is laughable at best.
|
|
|
6 of 7 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
"The earth trembles like a virgin being drawn to the nuptial bed...", April 3, 2006
Yes, the above is an actual line of dialogue from this little stinker. The most priceless dialogue exchange, however, comes in the first ten minutes of the film:
ATOR: (to Sunya, his love interest) I love you.
SUNYA: And I love you.
ATOR: Why can't we marry?
SUNYA: Ator, we are brother and sister.
ATOR: (pauses, presumably so the audience can close their mouths) I'll talk with our father.
Thankfully (?!), Ator narrowly escapes being the village's creepy, sister-lovin' freak on the technicality that he is actually ADOPTED, and therefore not actually related to Sunya! Ator's adopted father, not at all weirded out by Ator's, er, affection for his daughter, immediately throws a big wedding for the two lovebirds. Unfortunately, their village is raided by the henchmen of some creepy dude who likes to pet tarantulas all day---hmm, perhaps he's the "Grand Priest of the Spider" mentioned on the box?---and Sunya is kidnapped! Now we must join Ator, he of the furry boots and horribly teased blonde mane, as he fights to rescue his bride and defeat the evil of the Main Evil Guy!
I don't know how the director / writers managed it, but I was bored stiff by this film, despite the incest angle and the fact that they threw in all the sword-and-sorcery plot points that could possibly exist: evil, seductive sorceresses, giant spiders, fair young maiden kidnappings, village slaughterings, walking dead, cutesy animal sidekicks, magical swords, helpful thieves, etc.
Despite all this, the only time I was genuinely interested in the movie was when Keeog, Ator's insanely adorable bear cub sidekick (shades of "Beastmaster," much?), was in action. And believe me, the poor thing was in action for most of the movie! He does more than Ator and his Amazon traveling companion combined! I'm sure someone somewhere has already concocted a suitable drinking game for this...i.e., every time Keeog appears for no apparent reason, take a sip. Every time Keeog saves someone's butt, take a shot. I imagine you will be very, very drunk before the credits start rolling...
Anyways, as you've probably guessed by now, the movie is pretty damn terrible, mostly due to the overly convoluted plot (?) and Miles O'Keefe's "I'm-either-thinking-or-terribly-constipated" stare. Recommended only if you are a die-hard fan of sword-and-sorcery flicks, or if you need something to mock over beers with the buddies, MST3K-style.
|
|
|
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
Dungeons & D'Amatos, August 16, 2008
The world of 80s sword and sorcery flicks can pretty much be seen in 3 categories. First, you've got the big boys which consist mainly of Conan and The Beastmaster. Then you got the second stringers like Deathstalker and The Sword and the Sorcerer. This category has produced some cult classics as well. But floating around on the bottom of the barrel we have films like Fulci's Conquest and Hawk the Slayer. This is the category Ator seems to fall in. I suppose that's debatable, but that's sure as hell where I'd put it. This film must have been popular somewhere though coz they made 4(that's right) Ator films.
Ator's a patchwork of plot points from almost every other sword and sorcery film. Ator(Miles O'Keefe) is a warrior prophecised to end the reign of the Spider Kingdom, which apparently terrorizes the land. The high priest named Dakkar is played by none other than...Dakkar(he played "Lucas" in Fulci's Zombie)! Dakkar's evil army(which looks like no more than 20 guys) steal Ator's bride and kill his entire village(a requirement for any true badazz barbarian warrior). After a rigorous training program from his mentor, Griba, Ator is all lean, mean, buff and ready to audition for Manowar. He teams up with a cute blonde warrior thief who tags along with him with aspirations of getting her hands on the Spider Kingdom's treasure. On their quest they run into some not terribly exciting adventures and finally confront the final test in the form of a giant spider. When Ator saves the day and destroys the evil kingdom(yes I told you how it ends, but did you honestly think it would end any other way? Do you even care?), he and his bride go running and prancing through the forest while some miserable Carly Simon-esque song plays.
For a sword and sorcery adventure flick, this is terribly unexciting...and this is coming from a guy who enjoyed Conquest! It's just kinda blah and nothing really seems to happen until the end of the film. Even a Laura Gemser cameo doesn't help!
Miles O'Keefe is one of those actors that was given a shot at the big time back in the day, but never rose above being a B list actor in the U.S. With roles in both Tarzan(the Bo Derek version) and Sword of the Valiant with Sean Connery, it's obvious an attempt was made to make a star out of the guy. Oh well, some are lucky and some aren't I suppose. I don't mind him. Sure he's wooden as all hell in this role, but we never expect much depth from these kinds of characters.
The film was directed by Italian sleazemonger, Joe D'Amato, but he uses the alias "David Hills" here(probably the Italian version of "Alan Smithee"). Essentially D'Amato seemed to be trying to make a film that could be viewed by most age groups. There is death by swordplay but no blood. There's insinuated sex, but no sex(besides Ator is a man of morals). So not only is the film dull, but it's quite tame. If D'Amato had brought some of his trademark sex and gore to the film, then we might have had something rather extraordinary.
So, why did I give this movie 3 stars? Two reasons. First, it's got it's funny moments to be sure. Second, it has a giant spider. My rule of thumb is that a giant spider featured in a film earns one star right off the bat.
If you're an avid fan of this genre, you might want to catch Ator to say you did. Same goes for fans of D'Amato who want to view as much of his filmography as possible. Hell, it's cheap too.
|
|
|
Most Recent Customer Reviews
|
Interact With Your Music: Discover, listen to, and buy new music, all from the pages of SPIN's digital edition, free to Amazon customers.
DVD ~ Jack Palance
DVD ~ Kathleen Kinmont
DVD ~ Arnold Schwarzenegger
DVD ~ Peter MacNicol
