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16 of 16 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
I wish it had only been a dream, February 9, 2005
Dream Warrior has a misleading title, as well as a completely deceiving cover. There are no dream warriors. There are no dreams. There are, however, a few people you may be able to see as warriors, I suppose. The bearded, chainmail dude wielding a spiked cudgel on the cover of the box is nowhere to be seen in the movie, though. In fact, there is no chain mail, and there are no spiked cudgels. What we do have is a very low budget Croatian film featuring Aliens' Bishop as the bad guy, Isaac Hayes (Shaft!) as a wandering mystic, and Sherilyn Fenn as a sort of budget Liv Tyler. As far as I can tell, the movie is a retelling of Mad Max with a few dashes of Waterworld thrown in for bad measure.
One of my favourite scenes is the two men enter, one man leaves bit which takes place when our hero (named Rage, of all things) is captured by a band of ravening whiteface goths. No explanation is ever made for what the Village of the Goths has to do with anything, but maybe that's part of the movie's (only) charm.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
If you like movies made in backyards by 10 year olds...., September 12, 2005
...then you are going to love this movie!
Same as many others I was lured in by the spiked club-wielding, armor-plated lunatic on the front cover. It's obvious pride at being a B-Grade movie just fooled me into thinking it was going to be a fun little apocalyptic nightmarish movie. Well, the nightmare part was certainly true.
The only possible way you can you enjoy this movie is to watch it with some fellow Mystery Science Theater 3000 fans while getting drunk. By the end you won't be able to feel the pain that this puddle of monkey drool was designed to inflict on the movie-renting public. Seriously, let me lay this out for you:
the acting is bad, the sfx are done with Photoshop 4.0, the plot is indecipherable, and the sets establish new thresholds for "cheap" (only cost as much as a few citations for trespassing).
According to the future as told by this moview, there are few things the post-apocalyptic future has no shortage of (oh an asteriod hit Earth and apparently caused lots of green grass, trees, and blue skies to appear--yes awful I know)... I present these things to you in no particular order as a way of summarizing the plot in "Dream Warrior": white cotton thongs, gasoline, cheesy-motorcylces, vintage trucks, cardboard boxes, white facepaint, black eyeliner, trench-coats, scarves, makeshift pistol weapons, grenades, mobs of pasty, bored-looking extras, and women who want to sleep with Lance Henriksen.
Keeping in turn, here is the list of things that ARE in short supply in the future: ballistic weaponry, cars with doors, buildings with walls, men who can throw a punch, women who can act, plot, narrative, character development, and apparently also things that float.
Lance Henriksen obviously owed somebody some favors (perhaps the writer is his actual illegitimate child, you know like in the movie?). He is at least delivers the nasty tripe that are his assigned lines very well. Isaac Hayes is good but his character is basically random, inane, and confusing. Though admittedly after a few drinks he's the most awesome thing about this movie. His best move comes when he uses his "mutant power" (his sudden movements can make people flinch) on the goth people (the second most awesome thing about this movie).
Well bad plots, writing, lighting, sets, characters, stunts, special effects, endings, acting, and directing aside this moview was worth at least 1 star for the partial nudity and and the random yet satsifying inclusion of Isaac Hayes in the film.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
sleep warriors, September 6, 2005
I picked this movie up in a bargain bin at my local video store hoping for some cheap thrills. I had fairly high hopes, considering the post apocalyptic setting, the presence of the awesome Lance Henriksen and a cover featuring a guy with a spikey club. What I got instead was what seems like the rough cut of a rejected sci-fi channel pilot. The story has no momentum and meanders in circles never really getting anywhere (slowly) for the better part of it's running time, while trying in vain to jazz things up with endless flashbacks or visions or something. Action scenes are few and far between and when they do materialize are fleeting and lamely staged. What you DO get a lot of is people walking through the woods, characters pontificating about nonsensical mysticism, a girl healing people repeatedly (this consists of her running her hands sloooowly over them while NewAge music plays on the soundtrack) and Lance Henriksen brooding around in his lair that looks like the Soho loft of a cocaine addicted art dealer. No exageration at one point I began fast forwarding and watched several minutes of people walking through the woods talking (and that was at triple speed). This movie takes itself way too seriously with nothing to back it up. Not even some prime nudity can save this somnambulistic waste of 1's and 0's.
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