Most Helpful Customer Reviews
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars
Look Out! It's a Man in a Rubber Suit!!!, April 17, 2005
Criticising this film is like shooting fish in a barrel with a howitzer. It's cheesy, it's ridiculous, it's utterly unrealistic.
But it DOES have the first genuine, bona fide man-in-a-rubber-suit monster I've seen in ages.
It wasn't long ago that almost any otherworldly creature seen on the screen was a stunt man in a stifling rubber suit. Whether it was a towering Godzilla or a dinky little Saucer Man, a Creature from the Black Lagoon or the Monster of Piedras Blancas, the phoney rubber monster suit ruled the screen.
Here in the age of CGI, I didn't think we'd ever see another of these old-school horrors, so I admit I got a few chuckles out of this film. And if you have fond memories of those hokey, shambling rubberized monsters of yesteryear, maybe you'll smile, too.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars
Fozzie Bear In A Sleestak Mask Terrorizes A Cruise Ship, January 16, 2006
"Chupacabra Terror" is an amazing movie. Note, please, that it isn't good, but is astounding for putting two things together that never (ever) belong together, even in graze-Z monster movies: a chupacabra and a cruise ship. As preposterous as that sounds, the awfulness of this film is extremely nuanced and can be viewed on many levels, all of them terrible.
This is a film where even the most inept viewer will be able to accurately predict exactly who survives in the first three minutes of the film. Unfortunately developments in the film become even easier to prognosticate in the remaining 85 minutes. The plot is basically that an insane scientist (a cryptozoologist) played by Giancarlo Esposito in full over-the-top Shatner mode captures the elusive Chupacabra, evidently played by Fozzie Bear in a Sleestak mask and swim fins judging from the realism of the effects, and brings it onto a cruise ship where it proceeds to walk on ceilings, jump around like a flea, and eat everyone in sight (as well as a very annoying Yorkshire Terrier).
The good guys are the Captain, played by the genuinely talented John Rhys-Davies, his daughter the shipboard Tae Bo instructor, played by the modestly cute Chelan Simmons, and a US Marshal, and poor man's Tom Cruise, Dylan Neal (they really needed Sam McCloud for his tracking skills). General pandemonium reigns in this tawdry and very unscary affair (the monster really does look like a silly puppet, but is actually a man in a rubber suit), and there are subplots to take our mind off the tension (or relieve the boredom, depending on your point of view). The most annoying subplot (by far) is about a smarmy thief who, while allegedly suave, does not remind anyone as much of James Bond (or even Peter Sellers) as much as Ralph Malph in drag.
My very favorite part of the movie, without question, is the stirring conclusion in the engine room where the good guys confront the chupacabra and just to be sure it's dead, kill it using all of the following methods: armor piercing bullets, Tae Bo (in a fight scene that must be seen to be believed), superheated steam, electrocution, freezing and carbon dioxide (the old fire extinguisher ploy), and drowning. There is an unresolved question if trauma and explosion of fuel vapors also play a part, or if in fact it's a boiler explosion. Either way, the thing is dead. Or is it? We can only hope, and I am optimistic given the fact I have not seen "Chupacabra Terror 2" yet (not that I'm looking).
This was given to me as a birthday gift (if you can believe that), and in closing I want to say that this is not the worst chupacabra movie that I have ever seen, but it may be the stupidest. It deserves one star, but because John Rhys-Davies is a very good actor, in fact turning in a decent performance even with this material (which is a major achievement), I am giving it a bonus star for his performance.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
John Rhys-Davies, God Of B-Cinema, May 16, 2005
You heard it hear first folks, John Rhys-Davies is the new god of B-Cinema. Not only has he appeared in the legendary "Sabertooth" and "Dragon Storm," but Rhys-Davies can now add "Chupacabra Terror" to his ever-growing list of SciFi channel schlock that is so terrible, it's actually fun to watch.
When this first appeared on SciFi Channel, I think it had a slightly different name. No matter, it's still the same cheese-matic cinema that I've grown to love. Not only does it feature a dude in a rubber suit, it also features natives scared of the beast, a man intent on capturing and studying the beast at no cost, and a slew of idiots on a boat intent on stopping the beast. Standard, unoriginal, fruitless, I know, but it's still a pretty good flick to watch when you've nothing better to do.
The special effects are hokey. The acting is bad. You'll think to yourself, "When's the idiot thief going to get eaten?" In short, you've seen just about every cliche in this flick in just about every other film made on such a low budget.
Just remember, good friends, this film has no intention on garnering accolades from Oscar, Tony, Emmy, etc. It's pure, brainless, silly fun that is meant to kill the evening on which you can't fall asleep. Buy it if you suffer from insomnia, rent it if you don't. Either way, you'll end up thinking that this flick isn't TOOOO bad to watch.
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