Most Helpful Customer Reviews
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
"Terrible" is an understatement., September 16, 2007
Being as this was a Sci-Fi original movie, and Sci-Fi Channel's reputation for churning out these kind of crappy movies all the time, I didn't expect much in the way of special effects quality or acting quality. But the end result was too much of a joke to even dismiss as "It's so bad it's good".
The plot is a convoluted mess failing to properly mix elements of Greek mythology, Hunnic history, and Christianity in an abortion of a myth involving a Celtic-looking Attila digging up a rusty sword and making an offering to Satan to make him a god and make his sword make him invincible. For some reason, Satan has Cerberus guard the sword and Attila's corpse in hell.
Then it extends into modern times, with a plot so poorly thought out using modern ideas like "nukes" and ransoming nations and drinking beer, you can't help but think someone here was fired from making spaghetti action films in the early 90s. A rich Asian man hires some empty-headed Americans to steal Attila's breastplate (which amounts to a thin sheet of metal so flimsy it could shatter at any moment) from a museum in some foreign country (as noted by their 'foreign accents'). Because of one of the idiotic American's trigger-happiness, an important potential hostage is killed, and so they have to kidnap another woman and her brother and use them to get to Attila's sword.
What little believable plot is left at this point simply fades away as it turns out this Asian guy mysteriously has a stockpile of nuclear weapons and yet plans on using the sword to threaten nations. The American mercenary who gets the sword starts acting like a drunken idiot, spouting the worst cliche' lines in history and randomly attacking people in some Transylvanian village tavern.
The actors are some of the worst pack you're likely to find outside of pornography, and the dialogue would make some porno movies look like Oscar-worthy performances. Most of the character's lines, especially the Americans, consist of terrible cliche's like "who let the dog out?" and such exchanges about Greek myth like:
American Woman: Orpheus tamed Cerberus using a lyre.
American Doofus: Don't look at me!
HAHAHA! STUPID PUNS!
The special effects are terrible, the ending horribly done, and all in all it was a bad way to spend a lonely Sunday afternoon in the middle of September.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
Cerberus, January 14, 2007
Plot: Steal the sword of Attilla the Hun...unleash a 3-headed dog(made of BAD CGI) to wreak havoc amongst a village in the hills of BFE...bring in good guy and good girl to save the day...
OK, my take on this...
not really a BAD movie...typical plot line...BAD CGI...definitely not worth the $24 to spend on it...I can think of a LOT of other things to spend $24 bucks on...good for maybe 1/2 price rental...
but I actually did like it...would have been better if it had GOOD CGI...goes down as a "good" movie after drinking a few beers late at night
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2 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Yeah, this is good, May 23, 2006
The center of this movie's plot is a magic sword that makes whoever uses it invincible, which is a common theme in many fantasy movies where a magic item gives its possessor incredible powers. In this case the sword belonged to Attila, a terrible real-life warrior of the past, big enemy of the Roman Empire. Legend says that Attila made a pact with the devil that made his sword magic and granted Cerberus' protection, the huge three headed dog. Now, in our current times a mercenary group wants to find the sword. They initially steal Attila's armour that has hints to find his sword. That action makes them get involved with an historian, Dr. Samantha Gaines, who in turn gets the attention from a secret security group that goes where she goes, and the story develops. The name of the secret security unit is not said but left up to the viewer to name it, although it figures from the movie that it belongs to the USA government.
I didn't bother to make sure the specific claims about Attila's life stated in the movie were true, you can't expect accuracy from acommercial movie after all. Yet, I think this movie went less off than other big productions like "Scorpion King". For example, Cerberus belongs to the Greek and Roman mythology and Attila did have much things to do with the Romans; thus there's a decent link.
It's a bit curious that the actors who played the main characters Dr. Gaines and Jacke Addams (leader of the security group) are not mentioned below in the cast unless you ask the full cast. Gee, they mentioned several extras or people who play pedestrians or mob before her name. Well, in one scene she said "Does he has them?" where did she get her PhD? Or more exactly which school did the writers go to? But this was no reason to rank this movie so low as it has been.
People should pay attention to the Theatrical Release Information where it says the budget was mere 2 million. Thus, you should not expect a "Lord of the Ring" type movie with constant especial high quality effects. This is not so bad, too many special effects bore me sometimes and in fact I often feel some freshness in these small productions which are normally blasted in these reviews.
It was not very convincing that the mercenaries had to kill anybody or steal anything (especially with such easiness) to get the sword because Attila's suit only had clues, but one can imagine many explanations. The plot itself gets a bit more complex and interesting as the movie advances since an insane North Korea ex-general seeks the sword. The real biggest defect of this product is its current price of $24. I would be mad as well if I had paid that for that price which I don't even pay for movies I've been a lifetime fan of.
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