Most Helpful Customer Reviews
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39 of 45 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Bad Film Fans--This Is the One You've Been Waiting For!, October 20, 2006
Oh this film is so very, very bad--totally delicious! You've read the plot line in previous reviews, so my review is more about the essence of the movie. I saw this in a packed cinema--never has one movie given a group of people such unexpected surges of pleasurable hilarity. Everything was fine until Nicolas/Edward almost drowns and then snaps out of his trance to find a dead girl on his lap--the audience couldn't control itself from this point on--the guy in front of me was laughing so hard I thought he'd pass out. I mean, up until now, we only had Exorcist II and Plan 9 From Outer Space to enjoy bad movie-wise--but Wicker Man 2006--thank you Nicolas! Thank you Neil LaBute! The "Bike Scene" the "Rowan and Edward the Bear in the Woods Scene" the "Schoolroom Scene" the "Killing Me Won't Bring Back Your God**** Honey Scene" are all moments to treasure--I can't remember when I've seen such an excellent very bad movie--it makes stuff like Aeon Flux looks like Fellini...my dreams would come true if "Wicker Man II--the Sequel" with Nicolas Cage was announced! Nicolas Cage is at his very best--see him stare...see him punch/slap/kick many of the movie's actresses..see him wear a bear suit...see him come up from underwater with lots of hair dye running down his neck...see him shout out fabulous lines like "Step away from the bike!!!" and "Owww!!! My legs!!!" See him rant and rave and carry on like a maniac. Connoisseurs of really bad movies must see this--you'll totally love it!
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66 of 80 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars
Unbelievably, spectacularly bad. You have to see for yourself., August 31, 2006
Nicholas Cage stars as Edward Malus, a California police officer who goes on a leave of absence after witnessing a tragedy on the job. Taking pills to soothe the effects of his post-traumatic stress disorder, Edward is in a weak place when he receives a letter from his ex-fiance, Willow, requesting his assistance in finding her missing child. She bids him come to Summerisle, a small island off the coast of Puget Sound, and help her find her daughter, Rowan.
When Edward first arrives it's clear that Summerisle isn't like other places. Quite frankly, it's the land that time forgot. The women dress like pioneers and the men--well... there don't appear to be many men around. When Edward starts investigating Rowan's disappearance, he hears a different story depending on who he speaks to. Rowan is either: not even Willow's daughter, nonexistent, dead, or soon to die. Refusing to give up, Edward delves deeper into this strange community shrouded in mystery, secrecy, and deception.
The Wicker Man is not for those who can't tolerate trash, as is pretty obvious from the other reviews. I, however, revel in how far a movie can go in its efforts to be different. And different is putting it mildly where The Wicker Man is concerned. Also, for those who can't stand needless violence, at least three women were punched in the face over the course of this movie. Furthermore, there is a scene toward the end when everyone in the village is dressed in animal costumes that made me think I might have stumbled upon an acid trip gone wrong. You've been warned.
It's difficult to put into words how spectacularly bad this film is. I honestly think you should see for yourself. Not for full price, mind you, but at a matinee or second-run theater. It's worth it for the experience of wondering if you could actually be watching something so completely out of touch with reality.
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19 of 21 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
"OW!! MY LEG, MY LEG!", September 12, 2006
Well, I had to laugh hysterically at that part.
Nicholas Cage plays Edward, a cop who stops a car on the highway, then sees it smashed and catch on fire. However, the bodies of the woman and small girl inside the car are inexplicably never found. Weird.
Then he gets a letter with fantastic calligraphy from his former fiancee, Willow (did he check out the handwriting first? - no) asking for his help on Summersisle to find her missing daughter, who every one else there says is not missing. Instead of saying forget it, I'm not going anywhere, Edward jumps to it. A co-worker asks him where Summersisle is, and Edward replies that it is in the Northeast. He got a little mixed up there as it's an isle off Washington state (which is in the NW).
He's greeted with disdain in Summersisle, which is packed with women (mostly pregnant), small girls, and a few untalkative men. Willow, a very weird-faced, collagen-injected woman is glad to see him, but has a lot of trouble expressing herself. She mostly says, "Ummm" and stutters a lot. This frustrates Edward almost as much as it annoys the audience. He hollers at her to spit it out, but this just makes her stutter more.
Poor Edward is so wrapped up in "doing the right thing" and redeeming himself for the death of the girl in the car, that he can't see what's in front of his face. He thinks he's smarter than the rest of these bee-keepers (last year was a bad year for honey) and shows his police badge around, which doesn't impress anybody. He searches for the little girl in some pretty weird places - like underwater - but has no luck despite thinking he actually sees her there.
This guy's got problems he needs to sort out. But he didn't give himself a chance.
Slight Spoiler - It's unbelievable that a bunch of smart women would go to so much trouble just for some honey - which they had no way of selling once they offed the pilot, and his plane was out there for all to see. Plus they have no telephones to call a new one - and no way to send out more calligriphied letters.
Bad movie.
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