Most Helpful Customer Reviews
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18 of 19 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Sharing our common humanity..., July 26, 2004
One of Elisabeth Kubler-Ross's books, 'On Death and Dying', is a classic work in the field, still used to educate and inform medical, counseling, and pastoral professionals since its original publication in the 1960s. Kubler-Ross did extensive research in the field by actually talking to those in the process of dying, something that had hitherto been considered taboo and an unthinkable, uncaring thing to do. Kubler-Ross asked for volunteers, and never pressured people to do or say anything they didn't want to. One of her unexpected discoveries was that the medical professionals were more reluctant to participate than were the patients, who quite often felt gratitude and relief at being able to be heard.
This book, 'Death: The Final Stage of Growth' continued that research; Kubler-Ross is the editor here rather than an author, and the text is primarily in others' words. This includes other doctors and psychiatrists, patients, and family members. Kubler-Ross in her research spoke to families, and followed people through their ailments, sometimes to recovery, but most often to their death. She let the people guide her in her research; here she lets them speak for themselves for the most part.
This caring approach was often an aggravation for Kubler-Ross and her staff, because they would know what the patient had been told but was not yet ready to face. Kubler-Ross recounts stories of attempts to deal with death in different ways; denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance -- in fact, the various stages of grief were first recognised in Kubler-Ross's research. There are those who dislike the 'stages; theory of grief, but it is important to know (as the quote above indicates) that these are not set-in-stone processes, but rather dialectical and perichoretic in nature, ebbing and flowing like the tide, so that where a person was 'stage-wise' would vary from meeting to meeting.
Kubler-Ross drew together a diverse collection of views for this book, finding meaning both in life and death. This book provides insights for health-care professionals and clergy, as well as the families, friends, and companions of those who are dying. There are insights here to help cope and find meaning and resolution in death.
Death is a difficult subject to comprehend, and even more difficult to deal with. Kubler-Ross includes an anonymous letter from a student nurse who discovered she was dying, and wrote a letter to fellow hospital workers giving a first-person account of what it is like to be on the receiving end of the treatment - something which, like it or not, most of us will eventually face. This is part of our common humanity.
It is important not to approach this subject merely as an intellectual or theoretical subject -- it is not sufficient to subscribe to a 'pie-in-the-sky' kind of theology about afterlife the denies the emotions in this world. Even those with firm belief and faith will still experience the loss in this world.
This book is lovingly written, well-researched and full of insight. While some of Kubler-Ross's ideas have over time become oversimplified, and some research has been superseded, her example of bringing a difficult subject to the area of regular conversation and consideration cannot be underestimated, and this book is part of that legacy.
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12 of 13 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
A work that explores death from a cultural, sociological and multi-religious point-of-view., August 18, 2005
Death: The Final Stage of Growth is an especially enlightening work not simply because of the varied and knowledgeable contributed views to this particular volume, but because it approaches death and dying not from a scientific or psychological standpoint, but rather, from a cultural, sociological and mixed religious context. The essays that focus on the Eskimo, Jewish, Hindu and Buddhist approach to death and dying are deeply taken into account, as are their rituals, their cultural approaches and their belief systems. But though all the faith approaches differ in one way or another, the unifying human elements are-for the most part-a consistent grief, fear, faith of a higher authority and the oncoming trials and tribulations that dying can and will entail, all of which unites us. Dignity should begin at the conception of life, and it does not cease until the last breath is taken and arrangements for what follows are respectfully set up. But in many cases, as illustrated in the section entitled: "The Organizational Context of Dying" by Hans O. Mauksch, once a person is diagnosed as having a terminal illness and thus becomes a full-time patient, (s)he, after stripping and handing over their possessions, is banded like a piece of property They then are quickly yet efficiently-like in the military or in religious life-slowly deloused of their sense of autonomy; they are gradually assilimated to the institution. And their physical and mental definitions are not fully acknowledged. It is not done out of spiteful cruelty, just ignorant insensitivity. But through psychological studies-as done by Kubler-Ross as well as others in the field-and radical restructuring in pallative care, hospitals are really no longer deemed as the menacing sick houses of olden times. Rather, the patient as a whole is acknowledged, not merely the physical self. The soul, the intelligence, the humor and wisdom. The "all" of the person is taken into account, and as that is so, the hospital environment in its own right changes for the better. But it stems from communication and compassion and facing what for almost all of us is the ultimate and insurmountable phobia. All in all, Death: The Final Stage of Growth is another excellent and necessary Kubler-Ross offering.
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53 of 70 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Everyday one is questioned by life,choose to live the moment, January 9, 2000
Kubler-Ross shares with us her life's work experiences with death and dying persons and how dealing with our own death parallels with our everyday life choices. Death comes to us in small ways everyday. There are many things in life that we have to die to, inner growth depends on this. Dying to small things prepares us for the moment of bodily death. Our ego for one thing is the hardest to die to, how we love to be right and not give in to someone else's opinion, how we love to be recognized for our work, our successes, our education, our money, our home, cars etc. To let go of our ego takes a lifetime but it is well worth the effort and gives you acceptance and peace of soul. The practice of letting go in small things prepares you for the bigger decisions of life. Your life becomes less petty and more human, less superficial and more realized, less important and more compassionate. It is not an easy lesson but one worth working through the stages of death and dying. Victor Frankl in his book "Man's Search for Meaning " also show how finite is our existence. Anthony DeMello in his book Sadhana, a Way to God: Christian Exercises in Eastern Form reveals how important it is to detach ourselves from desire and also the Dalai Lama lives a life full of compassion although he has been exiled from his own country for over 35 years. To be or not to be that is the question.
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