Most Helpful Customer Reviews
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18 of 18 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
This book was an enormous relief for me ..., August 2, 2000
By A Customer
I am in a serious relationship with a crossdresser and I felt very alone since I didn't understand him and he couldn't understand why. I had never been exposed to crossdressing and this book allowed me to see that it's "unusual, but not abnormal." We have both read it and I enjoyed the fact that it not only puts the woman in tune with what the man is doing, but on the flip side also emphasizes to the man that he has to pay attention to his girlfriend/wife's needs and desires as well outside of his crossdressing. I feel much more comfortable in our relationship after reading this book. If you can look past the issues of the fact that it was published by a small firm and there are typos and other formatting issues, the core of this book is quite meaningful and helpful, especially to someone who has little or no knowledge about the subject. It's a very caring, compassionate read for those who want to succeed in this type of relationship.
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13 of 13 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Cross-dressing for Wives, 101, February 16, 2005
Although this book is directed mainly to the wives and significant others of crossdressers, it contains a lot of very good advice for the crossdresser as well. Dr. Rudd opens with her own struggle to accept crossdressing, sharing her formula for a happy marriage. She states, "Ours is a home where Melanie can be herself without fear of rejection, embarrassment or condemnation." She describes her concept of gender as a continuum and goes on to state that, "Crossdressers are probably ... permitting the evolution of their true identity, which is a blend of masculine and feminine traits," and that "crossdressing is love motivated."
The second paragraph on page twenty-seven, wherein Dr. Rudd's husband is sharing his story, sums up my feelings about crossdressing admirably. "To me being a crossdresser means that I can experience all the finer qualities of life that may not fit my life as a man. I enjoy being a loving person; I enjoy being like my mother and my wife. For me to give up crossdressing is out of the question. Why should I? I believe that my reasons for crossdressing are positive rather than negative. 1) I love beauty and enjoy being beautiful; 2) I want to become more like my mother and my wife; and 3) I feel a release from occupational pressures when dressed as a woman."
There are chapters on femininity, on dealing with parents and children, and a very powerful section for wives on how to make the marriage work. One chapter is entitled "The Effects of Suppressed Femininity". Having read it through several times it appears to me that she doesn't really tackle the issue. However, in the next chapter, one specific sentence seems to sum it up nicely; "Giving up part of the personality causes death also, but the death is slow and very painful."
The penultimate chapter, for me, is the most powerful. Here Dr. Rudd provides outstanding advice on how to love one's husband 'enfemme'. She states emphatically that this is the ultimate, and achievable, goal.
I highly recommend this book, to crossdressers as well as to their wives and significant others.
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
A must read for wives/partners of crossdressers, September 29, 1997
By A Customer
I learned about my husband's crossdressing 15 years after our marriage and was devastated! I knew that I loved this man but was fearful of what would happen next. Did he want to become a woman! Was he gay? I sought counseling and was given the book, My Husband Wears My Clothes, by Dr. Peggy Rudd. Dr. Rudd, who also is the wife of a crossdresser, should be nominated for sainthood. Reading this book, which presents the bad with the good, helped saved my sanity and my marriage. I love my husband no matter what he wears - if he would only let me borrow that cute dress which is his/her favorite dress. Betty B.
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