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First Comes Love Audio, Cassette – Abridged, Audiobook

by Marion Winik (Author, Reader)

26 customer reviews

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Winik traces the trajectory of their unique and touching relationship--a straight woman and a gay man falling in love, marrying, setting up house, and raising two beautiful sons; their against-the-odds happiness eventually crumbling under the pressure of AIDS, drug addition and betrayal; and the harrowing, heartbreaking final moments of their life together as Winik helps her husband die. Simultaneous hardcover release from Pantheon. 2 cassettes

First Comes Love [Abridged,Audiobook]

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Product Details

Audio Cassette
Publisher: Random House Audio; Abridged edition (April 2, 1996)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 067945165X
ISBN-13: 978-0679451655
Product Dimensions: 0.8 x 4.2 x 7 inches
Shipping Weight: 5.3 ounces
Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars See all reviews (26 customer reviews)
Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #7,538,710 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #10918 in Books > Medical Books > Administration & Medicine Economics > Health Care Delivery
- #408364 in Books > Politics & Social Sciences > Social Sciences

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Customer Reviews

4.3 out of 5 stars

5 star		61%
4 star		23%
3 star		8%
2 star		0%
1 star		8%

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Top Customer Reviews

Love with the Gloves Off

By debra crosby on March 19, 2008

Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase

I only read this book because our reading group chose it and, frankly, at first I wasn't sure I'd like it. I didn't feel that I could relate to Marion Winik's drug use or self-destructive pursuit of a gay man. But her writing drew me in and her story proved to be so absorbing because it was so well-written. Yes, she was self-absorbed, as addicts often are, and yes, she knew her love for Tony was bound to end in frustration, but she has no sympathy for herself, and asks for none from her readers. Her story, while moving, is not cloying or sentimental, and I really liked that. She is honest, often painfully so, and direct. She reveals what it truly means to love someone who cannot love you back the way you want to be loved. She faces her problems head-on, addresses her own weaknesses with candor. Her writing style is clear and its emotions sharply drawn. If you approach her story without judging her, you will come to know her and understand her. I liked her in spite of myself, and that says a lot. Like a good friend you care about, but who can drive you crazy, Winik reveals things to you that can make you roll your eyes or sigh in frustration, make you want to slap her. And then she opens up with vulnerability, revealing her inner turmoil and pain, and you want to embrace her. This is a tough story, hard to take sometimes. But a true love story, nonetheless. After I read the whole book, I went back and re-read its opening chapter. After going on Winik's journey with her, her words about her husband's final hours brought me to tears. I felt I knew them both.

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heartbreakingly honest

By Rick Hunter on November 15, 1998

Format: Paperback

Marion Winik's funny, honest, and ultimately gut-wrenching memoir First Comes Love answers, in the end, what true love is. In clear, unwavering prose, Winik tells of her meeting, marrying, having two children with Tony Heubach, a gay ice-skater. Given their differing sexual orientations -- Winik is straight -- sex never was a big part of their relationship. Drugs, however, were, and it is the drugs which first brought the two together and drove them apart as Tony desperately sought any respite from the AIDS that killed him (neither Winik nor their two children ever tested positive). The most accurate phrase I can come up for Winik and Tony is that they were "soul mates", and this compatibility on levels more intimate than intercourse made their relationship work. Involving as it does drug addiction and AIDS, many parts of this book are sad. Winik and Tony, however, shared many good times together, including a number of years when they were off drugs, were happily married with young children, and before Tony became symptomatic. This book deserves a wide audience both for its honesty and for Winik's marvelous writing.

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Amazing Story of What Love Can Do

By Puppy Out Of Breath on May 31, 2004

Format: Paperback

Yes, the two main people in this memoir are self-indulgent, but there is one, and only one, thread that holds them together: Love. It cannot be sexual attraction, because one is gay and one is straight. And the thread of love holds and holds and holds and finally snaps. Marion Winik's writing held me from the first chapter to the last and never snapped.

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the best and most unrecognized memoir out there

By Amazon Customer on June 1, 2001

Format: Paperback

This is one of my all-time favorite books by my favorite writer. I used to read Marion Winik's cloumns in the local newspaper when I lived in Austin and have always been a fan of her writing style.
I recommend this book to everyone and they all can't believe how much they enjoy it. When you first read the book synopsis on the back cover it sounds as if the story was pulled from one of those cheesy tv-movie-of-the-weeks. But Winik's story and the voice with which she tells it is so engaging and inspirational. Her words never reflect any kind of self-pity, as is often seen in many of the memoirs published recently. Instead her writing is wry, clever and very witty. This book will honestly make you laugh and cry. After reading this book you'll feel like Marion Winik is one of your close friends or wish she was.

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Compelling, beautifully written, a sweet tribute...

By R. Peterson on August 19, 2000

Format: Paperback

A Christmas gift, off a request list of mine (!), this book was a complete surprise to me. I groaned after reading the back cover with the summary on it... Winik, an occasional commentator on NPR's, "All Things Considered", married the love of her life in New Orleans a number of years ago - an improbable match: he gay, she straight, both heavy drug users. As I said, I groaned reading this but then started the book. In a touching, powerful voice, Winik describes the falling in love, the marriage, the birth of their two boys, and her husband's terrible death from AIDS. The book is inspirational and extremely well written. Winik's narrative and acute observations are a gift. Early in the book she sold me, "When you think how much of a person's beauty is in their eyes, it is astonishing how beautiful they can be with them closed in sleep, perhaps as when you suddenly notice how talented the members of a chorus line are once the stars of the show have left the stage." This is a sad and beautifully written book in tribute to a loved one. Well worth the read.

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What's Love Got To Do With It?

By rjhawley@gte.net on February 16, 1998

Format: Paperback

Amazing, isn't it, how one person's non-fiction tale is another person's bizarre cautionary fable. In "First Comes Love", Marion Winik tells us all she can of her volatile relationship with the beautiful gay man she chose as her husband. It's the parts she can't tell us that may haunt her readers. (Although there is many an opportunity to read between the lines and to figure out that Marion Winik is one helluva scary human being.) A strong woman who offers shelter and unconditional love to the pretty object of her affections, Winik eventually tires of the conjugal set-up she has created (she will adore him, he will let her), and pulls away from her husband (Tony) just as his HIV positive state blooms into your basic, enervating case of AIDS. He's a little depressed about it all--gosh, I wonder why, Marion. Reading this book, one wishes more than anything that it was fiction, that the character of Marion Winik, it's-all-about-me control freak, was a figment of some deviously gifted writer's imagination.That way, maybe we would have heard some of the story in Tony's gentler, more loving vioce. What did he think of the loud, funny woman who loved him so much (but not long enough)? What did he imagine he would have done without her? And what did he see when he looked at their two sons? "First Comes Love" was dedicated to Tony, and he's on nearly every page--we deserve to know more about him than that he loved gardening and Judy Garland. Even Tony's mother (you'll love her!)is more clearly drawn that he is. Makes you wonder--are men quite real to Ms. Winik?

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Most Recent Customer Reviews

You Can't Have My Copy

This is a profoundly moving and beautifully written book about a life. It's much easier to talk about the book than about the life. The book is a biography of a passion. Read more

Published 15 months ago by Lynn Hoffman, author:Radiation Days: A Comedy

excellent!

had a very hard time putting this book down. makes me want to read every word this woman has ever written.

Published on August 26, 2013 by Ann

Romantic yet devastating story

I loved this book, it was very hard to put down. I found Marion's choices sometimes frustrating, sometimes selfish and others selfless. Read more

Published on February 13, 2012 by GinaLF

Sad, sad, sad, Tony and Marion....

I read the book as I found it when I moved in with my partner who worked at Specialty Hospital where Tony was a patient, not knowing Tony (in the book) was the same person I met... Read more

Published on October 10, 2011 by Harper Ray

Sad

First Comes Love epitomizes the 90's era of self-indulgent memoirs over? (and please, let it be over) This is basically a book about someone who makes one bad, selfish decision... Read more

Published on December 23, 2002 by Elizabeth

No Longer a Fan

I'm sorry. I'm aware of all the favorable comments regarding this book, and no one should question Marion Winik's writing abilities -- "First Comes Love" is a well... Read more

Published on July 3, 2002 by Mark Andrist

First Comes Love

I'm disgusted I ever bought this book and would love to have my money back (someone in my book club chose it). Read more

Published on June 18, 2002

Happy, sad, funny, sometimes weird, just like real life

I met Marion at a book fair and she recommended First Comes Love to me as the best of her offerings. I had an idea of what the story contained since my sister is a fan. Read more

Published on November 10, 2001 by TAIRY THE FAIRY

an understanding of a life I couldn't expect to understand

Good biography offers lessons for life - and although my marraige is completely different from the authors I found her story of her husband's deaht from AIDS and her ways of... Read more

Published on May 30, 2000 by Rosanna Landis Weaver