Love Smart: Find the One You Want--Fix the One You Got (Hardcover)

An early exercise suggests that women make detailed lists of the qualities they're looking for in a mate; five broad categories cover everything from social skills to physical appearance. Once a clear picture is formed of the ideal partner, it all boils down to marketing. Dr. Phil discusses conversation skills such as developing "icebreaker" questions and even digs up some of the old-school techniques that suggest checking headlines just to offer up-to-date topics, and making sure to ask questions about your date, rather than revealing much about yourself. Suggestions for internet dating are included in a separate chapter, and later chapters go into specific questions that cover personal background and relationship history in great detail.

The combination of new school humor with old-fashioned advice will appeal to women who are looking for both a plan for partnership and goofy jokes to lighten the pressure. Dr. Phil offers both in spades. Jill Lightner

In Love Smart: Find the One You Want -- Fix the One You Got, Dr. Phil tells people who are dissatisfied with their love lives to stop making excuses -- All the good ones are taken; I'm too fat/skinny/boring/unpredictable for anyone to love me; I should stick with the relationship I have, I'm not going to do any better -- and start taking action! Dr. Phil knows that you deserve a committed relationship, and it is within your control to have the one you want. First, though, you need to determine what you want in a partner, plot your course and get out there and create velocity in your pursuit of a loving connection. The dating world is a vastly new place: meeting people at bars or through friends used to be the only option, but that's not true anymore. Love Smart: Find the One You Want -- Fix the One You Got explores new possibilities, new places to meet people -- including the Internet -- and new activities to get involved in where you'll find interesting people. Or if you are simply looking to rekindle the relationship you are already in, Dr. Phil will tell you how to turn up the flame.

Love Smart: Find the One You Want -- Fix the One You Got will show you how to stop stumbling through your love life. You will learn to:

• Present the real you in the most flattering light. Are you your own best kept secret? Do you fail to show the world how truly fabulous and interesting you are? As Dr. Phil says, you can't fake fabulous. Don't act passive if three months into the relationship you're going to spring your true, opinionated personality on him; don't act wild if you really just want to sip tea with your mate in front of your favorite nighttime drama. Define who you are and then ride that horse!
• Peek behind the male curtain. Knowledge is power, and Dr. Phil tells you things about men that they don't necessarily want you to know -- their deepest needs and fears (yes, they have those, too, though they deny it), and how to decode their words and actions.
• Master the right moves. Once you've learned to put the best you forward, you need to go to places where you'll find interesting people and invite interaction. Don't fade into the wallpaper; get noticed and get involved. If you're already coupled up, learn to grow and nurture what you have and build a more fun, enjoyable and intimate relationship.
• Bag 'em, tag 'em and take 'em home. Once you put those right moves into action, there will be no stopping you! Dr. Phil shows you how to negotiate the relationship you desire and then close the deal with the one you want.
• Get out of your relationship rut. When you first fell in love, your heart raced just at the thought of him. But the daily grind, money problems, work, etc. have drained the life out of your relationship, and you take each other for granted. That doesn't mean you've fallen out of love. Dr. Phil shows you how to assess the state of your union and take the relationship to a deeper level.

Dr. Phil says there are no exceptions: There is somebody for everybody, and everybody deserves a relationship filled with love and excitement. Love Smart: Find the One You Want -- Fix the One You Got offers you the plan to find not just any relationship but the committed, loving, joy-filled relationship you've been waiting for.