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The Good Divorce (Paperback)

~ Constance Ahrons (Author) "MY OLDER DAUGHTER got married twenty-five years after her father and I divorced..." (more)
Key Phrases: three years postdivorce, binuclear family, five years postdivorce, Cooperative Colleagues, Fiery Foes, Angry Associates (more...)
3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (18 customer reviews)
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  Hardcover, August 31, 1994 -- $2.88 $0.01
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Customers buy this book with Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce and Building a New Life, Revised Edition by Abigail Trafford

The Good Divorce + Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce and Building a New Life, Revised Edition
Price For Both: $22.48

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Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

Expect a big promotional effort on this book, which argues that sometimes divorce isn't so bad for the children-if you follow a few simple rules.
Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.


From Booklist

Nothing is likely to make divorce pleasant or easy, but Ahrons' landmark longitudinal study of randomly selected postdivorce families offers hope that splitting spouses may be able to handle their breakup in a way that will permit both "adults and children [to] emerge at least as emotionally well as they were before the divorce." Ahrons blends insights from her own research and a cross-national European study as well as 25 years as a therapist to dispel myths, establish useful typologies, articulate the challenges divorcing spouses face, and suggest steps to make a "good divorce" more likely. Central to Ahrons' analysis is the recognition that what she calls "binuclear families" are now more common in the United States (and some other industrialized nations) than the traditional two-adults-with-children model. In either of these structures, "the psychological health of the children depends hugely on the way the spouses--or exspouses [sic]--get along." Though "family values" fundamentalists will object to the idea that "binuclear families" can ever be normal and healthy, The Good Divorce offers advice and explanations to troubled couples for whom "staying together for the sake of the children" is not a healthy or viable option. Mary Carroll --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 301 pages
  • Publisher: Harper Paperbacks (June 9, 1995)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0060926341
  • ISBN-13: 978-0060926342
  • Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.3 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (18 customer reviews)
  • Amazon.com Sales Rank: #42,451 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

    Popular in this category: (What's this?)

    #33 in  Books > Health, Mind & Body > Relationships > Divorce

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More About the Author

Constance R. Ahrons
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Front Cover | Table of Contents | First Pages | Index | Back Cover | Surprise Me!
Search Inside This Book:
Inside This Book (learn more)
First Sentence:
MY OLDER DAUGHTER got married twenty-five years after her father and I divorced. Read the first page
Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
three years postdivorce, binuclear family, five years postdivorce, angry associates, fiery foes, binuclear families, mutual children, aftermath transition, good divorce, postdivorce relationship, legal divorce, limited partnership agreement, emotional divorce, decision transition
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Cooperative Colleagues, Fiery Foes, Angry Associates, Binuclear Family Study, United States, Perfect Pals, Dissolved Duos, New Assumption, The New Yorker Magazine, Margaret Mead
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Customer Reviews

18 Reviews
5 star:
 (11)
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 (2)
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 (5)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
3.8 out of 5 stars (18 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

 
53 of 61 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars our first step as intelligent coparents, November 3, 2000
By A Customer
I found this book in the esteemed Bank Street educational bookstore in Manhattan and it became the first ray of hope during the dark early months of separation. My coparent and I started experiencing our disentangling as an organic shift in our ONGOING relationship, and expressing our continued commitment to each other in affirmative and reaffirming terms. This allowed us to give our son the language and story-telling he needed to feel has HAS a family -- it's simply a differently shaped one. In the intervening two years, our friendship as coparents has continued to thrive as we began tentative steps into new relationships, and as we set up rules and rituals in two households. Ahrons got us started.

This book explains the sampling issues relevant to debunking Wallenstein. And as a person with an A.B. in anthropology from Harvard, I can tell you that Ahrons sampling methods look pretty good. And her use of positive applicable metaphors to create constructive problem-solving is innovatively brilliant.

This is the nice, smart-peoples' divorce book. Forward-looking. Our family relationships today ARE (societally-speaking) often "differently shaped." Ahrons helps us start to deal with that and grow from that base. For our childrens' sake AND our own. Families where one person is dying don't work.

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25 of 27 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars If divorce is inevitable, get this book, July 1, 1999
By A Customer
This book helped me through my divorce, helping to understand the feelings I was having, and how others have dealt with them. But even more importantly, it presents case studies that can provide pointers on a "successful" divorce that doesn't ruin you--or the kids--emotionally.
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24 of 26 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars This is a great book for pre-/post-divorce parents, June 7, 1997
By A Customer
I found some this book to be both helpful and comforting to read. I learned SO much about divorce while reading this book - the feelings and thoughts that lead to it, what happens to both the leaver and the levee after the separation and the legal stuff about divorces. The words that Constance wrote provided a lot of comfort to me when I read this book. She puts her own experiences and feelings in this book and I felt like I got close to her when I read this. She gives inspiration and hope to all of us divorced parents. I highly recommend this book to ANYONE separated, divorced, or even thinking of doing it
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Most Recent Customer Reviews

4.0 out of 5 stars The Good Divorce
This book was recommended by my marriage counselor. It offers some good ideas and ways to look at divorce by means that other people have tried. Read more
Published 4 months ago by nurselady

5.0 out of 5 stars This book gave us inspiration...
Relational Shifts: A Family Doesn't Have to End Just Because a Marriage Does

Our family is another proof of this book's positive impact on what could have been a very... Read more
Published 22 months ago by Julie Rappaport

1.0 out of 5 stars Should only be used in extreeme situations
My parents read this book as they were considering separating. It convinced them that there was no reason to resolve their differences, and that our family would be somehow... Read more
Published on March 6, 2007 by M. Wilson

5.0 out of 5 stars Must Have
This is a must have book for anyone considering a divorce, in the process of divorcing, or even already divorced. Read more
Published on December 26, 2006 by mjw14k

5.0 out of 5 stars Great resource from a Family Counselor's view
I am a Counselor. Rule #1 is "Do not counsel friends and family."
I gave this book to my son and his ex. Thier break up was BEYOND poisonous to my Grandson. Read more
Published on November 19, 2006 by Mckinley0930

1.0 out of 5 stars One of the Most Toxic Books of the Last Two Decades
As a very successful child of a "good divorce," I cannot think of a more destructive book published in the last 15 years. Read more
Published on April 16, 2006 by Wildcats Fan

5.0 out of 5 stars Good self help
Offers a good framework for understanding how relationship (may) evolve throughout divorce. Helps one understand what is and what could be.
Published on October 11, 2005 by Rock Diver

4.0 out of 5 stars Good Divorce
Good book. Full of useful and practical info. Describes the meanings of both emotional divorce and legal divorce. Goes through emotional stages of the divorce process. Read more
Published on September 25, 2005 by Kate Gulyayev

5.0 out of 5 stars A Must-Read for Anyone Considering Divorce!
Dr. Ahrons takes a common sense and compassionate approach to divorce. Since divorce is a fact of life, she explains the importance of destigmatizing divorce as a social issue... Read more
Published on May 9, 2005 by C. Patterson

1.0 out of 5 stars Blameless society in a book
This author bashes past research findings, citing limited research parameters, then spins her own findings as the most relevant, without adequately supporting her claims. Read more
Published on December 8, 2004 by Doctor Phil

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