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The Clueless Groom's Guide : More Than Any Man Should Ever Know About Getting Married (Paperback)

by Peter van Dijk (Author) "As in comedy, curveball hitting, and life in general, a proposal of marriage is all about timing ...and blood-alcohol levels..." (more)
Key Phrases: bridal party, rehearsal dinner, The Clueless Groom's Guide, Setting the Budget, Daddy's Little Girl (more...)

4.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (17 customer reviews)

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Bridal Bargains, 9th Edition: Secrets to Throwing a Fantastic Wedding on a Realistic Budget by Denise Fields
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Editorial Reviews

Product Description
This is not your father's wedding...

From choosing china patterns and invitation designs to color schemes and reception halls, today's grooms are expected to play a much more active role in wedding planning than when their dads walked down the aisle.

The Clueless Groom's Guide offers the 3 million men who get married each year lighthearted commiseration, guidance, and a distinctly male take on the entire process of planning a traditional wedding. Filled with humorous but useful advice and information on wedding issues, this essential guide covers:

Buying the ring that'll make her say yes
Dealing with the future in-laws in a way that will preserve the groom's sanity
Planning the budget without draining anyone's account
Negotiating a guest list with the bride, her family, and his family
Navigating the all-important bachelor party
And much more !

This charmingly illustrated book will not only help guys understand what they're in for--but give them a sorely needed chuckle along the way.

From the Back Cover
This is not your father's wedding . . .

Congratulations on your engagement, my clueless friend, and welcome to a world for which you are sadly ill equipped. You have entered a new dimension. A dimension of china patterns, ice swans, and boutonnieres. You're planning a wedding, and your fiancee expects more from you than a diamond ring and a blood test. So, you'd better get up to speed--and fast.

From the best proposal to the coolest honeymoon, The Clueless Groom's Guide offers light-hearted commiseration, guidance, and a distinctly male take on the entire process of planning a traditional wedding. It gives you a sorely needed chuckle and some surprisingly useful advice to help you get through the many decisions your bride-to-be will pretend to want your opinion on, including:

How and where to pop the question--and when to cue the mariachi band
Why engagements of over two years are justified only by extended commitments to the armed forces and/or unusually long jail sentences
How to pick groomsmen gifts and groomsmen who almost deserve them
Reception sites that offer style and originality . . . and why you should avoid them like the plague.
And far more than you should ever rightly know about weddings

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

Paperback: 208 pages
Publisher: McGraw-Hill; 1 edition (April 25, 2003)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0071413723
ISBN-13: 978-0071413725
Product Dimensions: 8.1 x 5.4 x 0.7 inches
Shipping Weight: 9.1 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)

Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (17 customer reviews)

Amazon.com Sales Rank: #189,314 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Front Cover | Table of Contents | First Pages | Back Cover | Surprise Me!

Inside This Book (learn more)

First Sentence:
As in comedy, curveball hitting, and life in general, a proposal of marriage is all about timing ...and blood-alcohol levels. Read the first page

Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
bridal party, rehearsal dinner

Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
The Clueless Groom's Guide, Setting the Budget, Daddy's Little Girl, Las Vegas, Setting the Date, The Proposal, Wild Turkey

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Books on Related Topics | Concordance | Text Stats

Browse Sample Pages:
Front Cover | Table of Contents | First Pages | Back Cover | Surprise Me!

Citations (learn more)

This book cites 2 books:

New Year (Get Set, Go!) by Helen Bliss on page 42
Sunrise, Sunset by Teri King on page 108

Books on Related Topics (learn more)

Bridal Bargains by Denise Fields

Discusses:

The Portable Wedding Consultant by Leah Ingram

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What Do Customers Ultimately Buy After Viewing This Item?

	46% buy the item featured on this page: The Clueless Groom's Guide : More Than Any Man Should Ever Know About Getting Married 4.0 out of 5 stars (17) $11.01
	23% buy The Engaged Groom: You're Getting Married. Read this Book. 4.8 out of 5 stars (11) $10.76
	16% buy The Groom's Instruction Manual: How to Survive and Possibly Even Enjoy the Most Bewildering Ceremony Known to Man 5.0 out of 5 stars (6) $11.53
	9% buy The Pocket Idiot's Guide to Being a Groom, 3rd Edition (Pocket Idiot's Guides) 4.3 out of 5 stars (9) $9.95

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Customer Reviews

17 Reviews

5 star:		(12)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(4)

Average Customer Review

4.0 out of 5 stars (17 customer reviews)

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

10 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Very informative and entertaining!, January 21, 2004

By	seasidebruin "seasidebruin" (San Pedro, CA) - See all my reviews

I went to a bookstore with my fianc�e and lounged around in the wedding books section. Most of the books that were there were written for/from the female perspective, and therefore did not motivate me to purchase or read the book. The other books for men were more about etiquette and what to expect. Then I ran across this one. I figured... oh no, it's another idiots guide or for dummies books... but then I realized that it wasn't. So I picked it up and read parts of it. Right off, I could tell that from the sense of humor of the author, that at the very least if it didn't offer me new information, since I have never been married before, it would at least keep me entertained.

So I purchased it. And I started reading it instead of a newspaper during some private time. It offered some helpful advice. It told me what to expect. And it made me laugh. What else could I ask for. I highly recommend getting this book because it does help me feel more informed about what to expect, and I don't have to carry around some frilly Martha Stewart-like book. The publisher and author understand that there is a niche for wedding books for men... that guide, offer advice, and entertain at the same time. If you are one of those football loving, bud light beer commercial watching, 20 something, 30 something, and even 40 something men, who has never been married before, then this is the book for you.

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10 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars You'll learn something in spite of yourself, January 19, 2004

By	Stephen Williams "steve-o-reno" (Fort Worth, TX USA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

My fianc�e' gave me a copy of this book soon after our engagement. This was a wise choice and one of the reasons I'm marrying her. The book begins with a man's decision to marry a girl, or at least the decision to ask her to marry him, and then the fun really begins. Throughout the book the author keeps a lively pace full of hysterical cynicism, incredible wit and tremendously valuable insight. Like me, if you really don't have any idea of what you're getting yourself into when you propose, then you absolutely must read this book. You will laugh out loud, learn a lot and finally understand what it's all about.

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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Wish I had this book 10 years ago, May 2, 2003

By A Customer

This is a better wedding gift than china. Van Dijk takes his place at the head of the class of the reluctantly mature. A funny... insightful... practical book. And Taylor Lee's spot illustrations are hilarious and on target, too. Every man should have a well-thumbed copy before he walks down the aisle.

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Most Recent Customer Reviews

1.0 out of 5 stars Can I rate this less than 1 star?
This has to be the most archaic writing I have ever seen. I am not sure if Mr. van Dijk has ever spoken to or participated in vendor selection. Read more

Published on December 2, 2005 by B. Burns

1.0 out of 5 stars Clueless author is more like it
Why isn't there a "zero stars" option?

I'm sorry, but this book contains some of the most gawd awful advice I have ever seen dispensed to anyone planning a wedding... Read more

Published on December 2, 2005 by David Chandler-Gick

1.0 out of 5 stars Who's Clueless?
If the rest of this book is anything like the section on wedding videography, the author does his readers a great disservice. Evidently, Mr. Read more

Published on December 1, 2005 by sblmnl

5.0 out of 5 stars Gets it right
I really got a huge kick out of this book. It has some really useful information. It's funny. But it's also real good spririted. A definite must read for any engaged guy.

Published on June 17, 2004 by Jim Miller

5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Stuff
My mother-in-law gave me this book as a gift shortly after I popped the question. It was full of really great stuff, and it was fun to read. Read more

Published on April 22, 2004

5.0 out of 5 stars entertaining and informative
The subtitle for this book is "More Than Any Man Should Know About Getting Married," but the information in this book is exactly what every man should know before he gets married... Read more

Published on January 19, 2004 by Joe Sherry

1.0 out of 5 stars For the All-American Slob
If you're the kind of person who considers themselves the true embodiment of the stereotypical All-American Hick, then this book is for you! Read more

Published on January 17, 2004

5.0 out of 5 stars Really Helpful Really funny.
This book really gets it right. There was lots of useful advice, and it was laugh out loud funny. I'd definitely recommmend it for any "clueless" guy getting married... Read more

Published on July 17, 2003 by Sam Jackson

5.0 out of 5 stars Getting Married in September
this book should be the bible for all men who are planning to get married. Since I purchasd the book it has been the topic of conversation with my friends and at the office. Read more

Published on June 20, 2003 by matty19

5.0 out of 5 stars The Bible for any man!
This book outlines everything, I mean everything a man needs to know to not only understand the logistics in such an undertaking - but more importantly how he needs to approach... Read more

Published on June 17, 2003 by matty19

› See all 17 customer reviews...

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