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The Prisoner's Wife : A Memoir
 
 
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The Prisoner's Wife : A Memoir (Paperback)

~ asha bandele (Author) "this is a love story like every love story I had always known, like no love story I could ever have imagined..." (more)
Key Phrases: asha bandele, trailer visit, visiting room, New York City, South Bronx, Venus Hottentot (more...)
4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (137 customer reviews)
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  Hardcover, December 31, 1998 -- $12.98 $0.62
  Paperback, July 31, 2000 $10.04 $5.95 $1.81
  Audio, Cassette, October 31, 2004 -- -- $8.00

Frequently Bought Together

The Prisoner's Wife : A Memoir + Something Like Beautiful: One Single Mother's Story + Daughter: A Novel
Price For All Three: $37.46

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Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

This book explains the inexplicable: how a talented young poet from a good family and privileged background could meet, fall in love with, and marry a prisoner serving 20-to-life for murder. As bandele says "I didn't fall in love with a killer. I fell in love with a man committed to the transformation of himself, of the world." They meet when she is among a group of African American activists giving readings at prisons. The prison, she says, "because of its stance against love made me take a stance for love." Her prison visits become personal visits as she and Rashid share stories of their lives and he helps her confront and overcome a history of sexual abuse. Their decision to marry, and thus have conjugal visits, seems offhand but not awry, given their deep emotional intimacy. The author has a poet's fluid skill with language and maintains a lyrical tone throughout, even in the uncertainty following denial of her husband's appeal and bandele's realization that he will be locked up for at least seven more years. For all public libraries.AJanice Dunham, John Jay Coll. Lib., New York
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.


From Booklist

When one hears of a woman marrying a man in prison, especially a man she met while he was already in prison, it is hard not to question her motives or sanity. Poet asha bandele writes of her relationship with Rashid, a man serving 20-to-life for murder. She tells of how she met this man while she was visiting the prison to read her poetry; of how she visited him as a friend/lover, waiting five years before she married him; of waiting the long months after the marriage before they were granted a conjugal visit; of love letters, long collect phone calls, and the horror and indignity of their prison situation. Yet she found in Rashid the strength to remember and confront her past as a victim of sexual abuse. She found, too, the love that most women long for, but in a place that imposes limitations that are a nightmare. Her writing soars with emotion. And the reader's emotions soar as well, not because of a shared experience but because her highly polished and skillful writing makes one feel her pain and joy. This is a romantic but realistic story, told with a directness and honesty that make us know that however impossible the problems asha and Rashid face, we can question neither her motives nor her sanity. Danise Hoover --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Washington Square Press (August 1, 2000)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0671021486
  • ISBN-13: 978-0671021481
  • Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.3 x 0.7 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (137 customer reviews)
  • Amazon.com Sales Rank: #24,045 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

    Popular in these categories: (What's this?)

    #1 in  Books > Literature & Fiction > Poetry > United States > Asian American
    #4 in  Books > Literature & Fiction > Poetry > Spanish
    #9 in  Books > Literature & Fiction > Poetry > United States > African American

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More About the Author

Asha Bandele
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Front Cover | First Pages | Back Cover | Surprise Me!
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First Sentence:
this is a love story like every love story I had always known, like no love story I could ever have imagined. Read the first page
Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
asha bandele, trailer visit, visiting room, conjugal visits
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
New York City, South Bronx, Venus Hottentot
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This book cites 9 books:
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Customer Reviews

137 Reviews
5 star:
 (89)
4 star:
 (23)
3 star:
 (13)
2 star:
 (5)
1 star:
 (7)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
4.3 out of 5 stars (137 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

 
18 of 20 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars What Real Love Is All About, May 13, 2001
I am almost speechless after reading this book, a biography of a woman that managed to find love behind bars. Not a semblance of love but real love; unconditional love; emotional love. In a million years, I never thought I would be able to relate to this book but I had heard so many wonderful things about it that I just had to purchase it and I am so glad that I did.

While I have known less than a handful of people that have done prison time and have never been involved with a man that has served, this book goes much deeper than that and deals with the issues that any woman must deal with at some point in her life. What issues? The definition of love and what we seek from a man. A lot of women search their entire lives and never find what asha bandele found as a visiting poet to a penitentiary. She found Rashid, a Muslim serving twenty years with life tagged on behind it for second degree murder. She found a man that understood her, a man that listened to her rid herself of all the demons of her childhood, a man that did not judge her when she revealed her previous promiscuous behavior, a man unlike her previous husband who was there physically but never touched her body or her soul.

asha's word are so vivid and detailed that they are almost arousing in nature. I pictured all that she went through: the humiliation of being searched when she visited him, the negative comments from friends and family members who simply could not understand how she could love a convicted felon, the pain and anguish of her decision to have an abortion instead of trying to raise a child alone. While I felt her pain, I also felt her joy. The joy of a man telling her that she is perfect despite her physical imperfections. The joy of being able to get to know a man mentally for years before sex came into play. The joy of knowing that no matter what else went wrong in her life, someone loved her unconditionally. This book has truly helped me see the light. It has taught me to never take things like the ability to hold hands or lie beside a lover, even in moments of anger, for granted. I think that every woman should read this book because the honesty and candor of her words, the thoughtfulness of letting people into her life through her memoir, makes one realize that if she can heal, so can all of us.

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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars A Wonderful and Inspiring Love Story, December 26, 1999
By Yaa (Michigan) - See all my reviews
This review is from: The Prisoner's Wife (Hardcover)
I would like to commend Asha Bandele for writing the story of her love for Rashid and his love for her. Too often we place limitations on where we find love and who we will love, we allow the negative opinions of others to determine our destiny. Her story is one that is truly inspiring in my life, I too have found myself to be in love with a man that is incarcerated serving a life sentence. Prior to reading The Prisoners wife, I found myself debating on if I should keep my love for this man hidden from my friends and family. Ms. Bandele has been inspirational in helping me to see that there is no shame in loving this man.. So I say to you Ms. Bandele... keep your head up, keep loving Rashid, don't let the thoughts and negative criticisms that are surely to come your way hinder the love and respect that you and Rashid have for one another.. Thanks for not being ashamed to tell your story to those of that are walking in your shoes.. we needed to hear it... I also say thanks for giving some insight to those that don't understand those of us that have made a conscious decision to love men that are behind bars... If one really opens their hearts and mind in reading The Prisoners Wife they will discover that this is a book that will reveal what true love is all about whether your mate is incarcerated or in the free world...
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Whew!, October 2, 2000
If I could only feel a tenth of the love depicted in this memoir, well that would be.... My vocabulary doesn't have enough words to describe the depth of emotions I experienced while reading this book. I feel rejuvenated that a love like this exists between two souls.

The memoir is well put together. The letters and other personal revelations express a significant story. The entire memoir flows lyrically, like one of Sonia Sanchez's poems.

I'm not particularly a fan of love stories, but this is not your typical love story. The book at times was painful to read as I suddenly realized I'm reading a memoir and not fiction. These are real people I'm reading about here not just something out of someone's imagination.

When I recommend this book, I usually end up saying "Just read it!" It's difficult to summarize. Love story, memoir, a book about prison marriage. These all seem inadequate descriptions of this memoir. It's much more than that. asha bandele revealed her life, emotions, pain and suffering.

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Most Recent Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5 stars Beyond the Bars
This book takes readers beyond the orange jumpsuit or khakied prison uniform. Mrs. Bandele leads you into the heart of a former criminal changed by time and love. Read more
Published 5 months ago by LaVette Rucker

5.0 out of 5 stars A story that transcends time...
I initially read this book back in 2000 and loved it then, and have recently re-read it in anticipation of Asha's sequel to this work. Read more
Published 11 months ago by Literary Savant

5.0 out of 5 stars POETIC PROSE
This book was excellent. I never thought that poetry and prose could flow together so fluidly. This book was chosen for my book club some time ago. Read more
Published 16 months ago by Jasmine Green

3.0 out of 5 stars The unhappy wife of a prisoner
I have read the prisoner's wife, and it breaks my heart to think that a educated woman such as asha could believe that being with a man in prison is a love story. Read more
Published 21 months ago by Sharon Smith

5.0 out of 5 stars A True Poet
I loved this book. Certain audiences may be more receptive then others. It takes an open mind to read, I saw one reviewer who felt prisoners should live isolated lives. Read more
Published on November 7, 2007 by M CLASS

5.0 out of 5 stars Prisoner's Wife- Moving and Inspirational
Although the title of my review is a bit cliche this book made me cry. It's a true love story. You can feel the pain and triumph in this realtionship and it is a genuine portrait... Read more
Published on October 17, 2007 by Lindsey Armstrong

4.0 out of 5 stars spoiler might be mention in here so read at your own risk ok,but overall the book was good just not REAL love to me,in the end.
PINKDIAMONDZPUBLISHING@poetic.com
BMW300ZXRedhead@aol.com
www.GOODMOMSFIGHTDYFS.COM

i am loving this story by Asha. Read more
Published on September 29, 2007 by Shakaarii Melendez

5.0 out of 5 stars The Urban Book Source
An epic tale of loving blindly, unconditionally, and without boundaries. In The Prisoner's Wife, you will be whisked away on a love trail involving asha bandele, an author, poet... Read more
Published on August 13, 2007 by The Urban Book Source

3.0 out of 5 stars Unimpressed, only disturbed!
The author, Asha Bandele, is a talented writer, but she should have utilized her talents on a more positive subject matter. Read more
Published on March 18, 2007 by Jacqueline T. Small

5.0 out of 5 stars Great Read! Must have for wives/girlfriends of inmates!
I too met my husband while incarcarated and found a beautiful friendship that turned into a wonderful marriage. Read more
Published on January 9, 2007 by M. Phillips

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