From Publishers Weekly
Family therapist Coleman, author of The 30 Secrets of Happily Married Couples and other self-help titles, turns his attention to parenting issues with this potpourri of tips. Using the mnemonic TENDER (teach, emphasize, negotiate, dos & don'ts, encourage, and report), Coleman covers 100 topics, arranged alphabetically, starting with adoption and ending with "worried child." Each short chapter opens with an anecdote, followed by related factual information, a section on how to respond to your child on the subject, and a warning section on how not to respond. Some entries also contain boxed "Smart Talk" tips that cite current research. While some problems are specific ("estrangement from extended family" or "new step sibling") others, such as "dawdling," or "self confidence" will be useful to all parents. Coleman's approach is generally sound, but since each topic requires a unique responseAeven while incorporating one or more aspects of the TENDER motifAreaders won't detect a set pattern to follow. And while parents will benefit from Coleman's advice to speak calmly and employ the TENDER elements, the A to Z format may give too much leeway for skipping topics, causing readers to come away from this reference manual without a firm grasp on the author's method. (Oct.)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.
Product Description
The latest in the popular How to Say It (series, How To Say It( To Your Kids offers wise comments and effective comebacks to help today's busy and beleaguered parents answer questions, encourage dialogue, explore feelings, and teach values--with ease and confidence. Dr. Paul Coleman, a family therapist and father, reveals the six fundamental approaches to talking with children. Forming the mnemonic TENDER--Teach, Empathize, Negotiate, Do's & Don'ts, Encourage, and Report--these six basic ways of communicating cover every conceivable issue of concern.
Each chapter consists of practical, how-to advice based on various scenarios, "Smart Talk" sidebars-new insights to the issues important to parents, and helpful "Rules of Thumb--"short but sweet tips, such as: The best reward for a child is a responsive parent Don't respond with a tone of voice more intense than your child's If anxiety is high, it is not a time to lecture or give advice Here's the reference manual parents will want to turn to again and again as their children age and new problems, and tougher questions, emerge. Loaded with ready-o-use-information, a puzzled or frustrated parent can come away with a new idea or strategy that can be instantly applied.
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