Jemima J: A Novel About Ugly Ducklings and Swans (Paperback)

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From Publishers Weekly
Yet another take on the singles scene, and from yet another British writer, this jaunty novel has one slightly new focus--the Internet as a dating device. "Bored, fat and unhappy" Jemima Jones is a hack writer on a small London paper, whose weight precludes both promotion (which she richly deserves, because she's smart) and getting together with the man of her dreams: kind, modest and gorgeous reporter Ben Williams. The Web opens a new world to Jemima, and when she begins an online correspondence with L.A. gym owner Brad, identifying herself as JJ, her friend Geraldine encourages her to send Brad a doctored photo of what she would look like if she were thin. Jemima joins a gym, goes on a diet and even becomes a blonde, preparing to accept Brad's invitation to come to L.A. Lucky JJ: Brad turns out to be a hunk, and the sex is great... but JJ senses that something is wrong. Meanwhile, Ben has become a celebrity "presenter" on British TV, but while the whole country goes gaga over his looks, he too feels that something is missing. By the time several coincidences produce a dreams-come-true ending, readers are fond of plucky Jemima, but somewhat tired out by her adventures. Green's determination to provide texture results in too many scenes that brim with London and L.A. local color, but fail to add verve to the narrative. Outside of Geraldine, who, surprisingly, is both beautiful and a true friend, the other characters tend to be stereotypes: Jemima's roommates, airheads on the make; the predatory female TV producer; the editor who offers Jemima a promotion once she is blonde and svelte. Though the concept is clever and nicely handled, the broad humor lacks true comic brio. (As the online initiated would say: it's not LOL.) Green does, however, capture the nuances and neuroses of the singles scene with a gimlet eye and an uninhibited voice. A bestseller in England, the book should also hook female readers here as they relate to Green's frank comments about body size and social acceptability. (June)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Library Journal
Green's superficial novel tells readers that although beauty isn't everything (the right man will love you for who you are, not your looks), a sensible diet and regular exercise can turn any fat and ugly duckling into a slim, tanned, well-dressed, and exceedingly attractive swan. Jemima Jones, 100 pounds overweight and possessing a definite inferiority complex about her appearance, has a desperate crush on Ben, the devastatingly handsome deputy news editor of the small London paper where they both work. After taking an Internet class, Jemima strikes up an e-mail relationship with Brad, a health club owner in Southern California, giving her the impetus to go on a successful diet and exercise regimen. Many pounds lighter, she visits Brad in Santa Monica, where she discovers that he is too gorgeous for words, that sex with him is better than her fantasies, but that he is really in love with Jenny, his immensely overweight secretary. Meanwhile, Ben, now a famous television star, comes to Santa Monica on work and, once he sets eyes on Jemima, realizes that he loves her, always did, and always will. Is this ridiculous, or what? In Green's hands, the "overweight Bridget Jones" subgenre of British fiction does not look promising. Not recommended.
---Nancy Pearl, Washington Ctr. for the Book, Seattle
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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First Sentence:
God, I wish I were thin. Read the first page Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
deputy news editor, vanity case Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Jemima Jones, Ben Williams, Los Angeles, Kilburn Herald, Diana Macpherson, Santa Monica, Alexia Aldridge, Top Tips, London Daytime Television, Nick Maxwell, West Hampstead, London Nights, Broadway Deli, Jesus Christ, B-Fit Gym, Diet Coke, Kilburn High Road, Louis Vuitton, Third Street Promenade, Cut Glass, Hyde Park, Miss Aldridge, Solent Advertiser New!
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757 Reviews 5 star:  (255) 4 star:  (160) 3 star:  (116) 2 star:  (93) 1 star:  (133)           Average Customer Review 3.4 out of 5 stars (757 customer reviews)		Share your thoughts with other customers: Create your own review
Most Helpful Customer Reviews   30 of 33 people found the following review helpful: 2.0 out of 5 stars Unrealistic, at best..., August 22, 2001 By A Customer I read this book in one night, despite the tension headache caused by the author's continual alternation between first and third tense narration (she is, supposedly, trying to be a voice of reason in otherwise unreasonable situations). Jemima's weight loss schedule is completely farcical - although the narrator vehemently denies that Jemima is anorexic, no real person could keep such a regime and live. Additionally, Jemima's post-weight-loss lifestyle is so completely outrageous I found myself wanting to toss the book across the room. Her roommates' actions - both before and after - are unprovoked and plainly bitchy. If Jemima is such a slouch, why would they act with such jealousy? And Ben. Clearly by the end of the book Jemima still has unresolved issues. Sure, he loves her... when she's THIN (notice he wasn't too concerned with whether or not he wound up seeing her in LA... until he saw the "new" woman). Clearly this is the book's ultimate message... be thin, be loved. Oh... and the epilogue. At a "size 10", Jemima is "no longer thin". Uh... excuse me, but the last time I checked, size 10 is pretty darn good. The entire Brad/Jenny situation is laughable (incidentally, this was so obvious it wasn't even funny... you can see this coming from chapters away),if Brad truly loved her, he wouldn't care about appearances... and he certainly wouldn't be sharing his life with someone else. The whole situation refutes the book's supposed theme.... that love can exist regardless of looks. Notwithstanding that, the entire explanation for such deception is completely contrived. You mean to tell me the author could come up with no better excuse for Brad's behavior than THAT????? Overall, an okay read if you are able to completely suspend reality (fiction or not, I prefer my books to be grounded in some sort of normality). Otherwise, skip it. Comment Comment (1) | Permalink | Was this review helpful to you? Yes No (Report this)   21 of 22 people found the following review helpful: 1.0 out of 5 stars Don't waste your time or money!, October 5, 2003 By  Jennifer (Oklahoma City, OK) - See all my reviews People that are Jemima J's size do not have the problems that Jane Green described. They can fit through doorways, and sit comfortably in normal chairs without breaking them. I used to be 20 pounds lighter and considerably shorter than Jemima J - so my body would have been at least as big as hers. I never had any of those problems. It's clear that Jane Green does not have experience with being fat - Jemima J would have to be much, much larger to have the physical problems described in the book. And let's not get into the horrible stereotyping. Fat = pathetic, in Green's eyes. Oh, please. Fat people are capable of having social lives. I was active sexually at the height of my weight. In Green's world, this would mean that I was either allowing men to use me in degrading, humiliating ways because I was desperately seeking approval, or that I was with fat fetishists. This is patently untrue. Besides the fact that her description of fat people is completely unrealistic, the plot is very weak. The climax? Boring and contrived. Better writing might have made the prejudices easier to take, but a poorly written, insulting novel? Don't waste your time or money. Fat women, don't waste your time. It will make you feel bad. Skinny women, don't waste your time. This is not how fat people live, think, or act. Men, don't waste your time. It insults men too. If you absolutely have to read this book, please check it out of the library. Don't give her any of your money. Read anything instead. Comment Comment | Permalink | Was this review helpful to you? Yes No (Report this)   24 of 26 people found the following review helpful: 1.0 out of 5 stars Unrealistic and shallow, April 13, 2003 By  C. Matte "dinosmile" (Wilmington, MA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)    I liked the premise of this book and had high hopes, but was sorely disappointed. I'm not even sure where to begin on this book. First of all, it's impractical. There is no way someone can lose that much weight so quickly by over-exercising and under eating and remain healthy. The author even alludes to that fact, but the main character practically stops eating with no repercussions whatsoever! Second of all, it's insulting. People who are overweight may or may not have overeating to blame, but the author's comments about how one just needs to make a strong decision to lose weight and the pounds will melt away is ludicrous. More importantly, it perpetuates a ridiculous stereotype that people who are overweight just eat all of the time. It's just not that simple. Third, the author is painfully unsympathetic to her character. There is no reason that the reader should dislike this character - her main flaw is that she's overweight, but she's intelligent, thoughtful, and caring. She has some doormat tendancies, but that's hardly reason for the author to treat her with such negativity. I didn't mind the premise of the book. I didn't mind the general plotline of the story. But a dash of realism, with a little bit of goodwill towards the main character, would have prevented me from seeing the book as a piece of .... I read the whole thing and hoped for some redemption, but it just wasn't there. I won't loan this one to a friend. I won't give it away. Comment Comment (1) | Permalink | Was this review helpful to you? Yes No (Report this) Share your thoughts with other customers: Create your own review › See all 757 customer reviews...		Ad feedback   Most Recent Customer Reviews 1.0 out of 5 stars Possibly the worst book I have ever read It's ridiculous and insulting. The characters are entirely one dimensional. The weightloss is ludicrously fast. Read more Published 25 days ago by S. Bennett 4.0 out of 5 stars pretty good read I liked this book. So what if it wasn't so realistic as others have said, it's FICTION! that being said, i don't think it was ridiculously unrealistic, although it wasn't the most... Read more Published 27 days ago by Mestiza 5.0 out of 5 stars Great chick lit I read mystery novels for a few weeks and decided that I wanted to read a chick lit book - in steps Jane Green. Read more Published 1 month ago by S. Leonard 5.0 out of 5 stars Fun book! Reading other people's reviews on here, I don't think we read the same book! I thought it was a fun, fast read. Read more Published 2 months ago by Jessica Pingle 4.0 out of 5 stars Unrealistic & silly, but entertaining... I agree with fellow reviewers who describe this book as incredibly unrealistic, but nonetheless I found it a very fun and easy read. Read more Published 3 months ago by M. Torres 3.0 out of 5 stars Jemima J by Jane Green Jemima J starts with the line "God, I wish I were thin." Well, that grabbed me. Hmmm, don't most women mutter this exact statement multiple times over the course of their lives... Read more Published 3 months ago by Laurie D. Hendron 3.0 out of 5 stars Escapist Chick Lit, Average for the Genre A fluffy, chick lit book in the same vein as _Bridget Jones' Diary_ (right down the last name!) about love, weight and all the rest. Read more Published 5 months ago by Yolanda S. Bean 5.0 out of 5 stars Great Book I always look for a girlie light read for my Winter break during college, and my best friend recommended this to me. It was wonderful. Read more Published 6 months ago by J. Mitchell 4.0 out of 5 stars Where's the movie...? I read this a few years back. I found it totally engrossing and found myself assigning actors to the various characters in the book, something I do often if the story merits it... Read more Published 7 months ago by flamekeeper129 1.0 out of 5 stars not a good for the self-esteem- NOT recommended I know what I will say has already been said but I feel it needs to be repeated. I bought this book because I thought it would have a good message about being overweight and... Read more Published 8 months ago by Gina Leigh Search Customer Reviews Only search this product's reviews › See all 757 customer reviews...

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