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Product Description
From the Borscht Belt shtick of Rodney Dangerfield to the urbane wit of Jerry Seinfeld, Jewish humor has had an enormous influence on modern comedy. Jokes about doctors, jokes about food, and of course, jokes about mothersÑ101 classic jokes are in this book, along with several witty essays and numerous charming cartoons by Joe Kohl.
From the Borscht Belt shtick of Rodney Dangerfield to the urbane wit of Jerry Seinfeld, Jewish humor has had an enormous influence on modern comedy. Jokes about doctors, jokes about food, and of course, jokes about mothersÑ101 classic jokes are in this book, along with several witty essays and numerous charming cartoons by Joe Kohl.
This book is a must for any fan of Jewish humorÑand everyone who needs a good laugh!
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
CHAPTER 6: JOKES ABOUT FOOD
Millie: ÒThe food here is terrible.Ó Ruth: ÒYes, and such small portions!Ó
-----
A Jewish gentleman stood before a delicatessen display counter and pointed to a tray. ÒIÕll have a pound of that salmon,Ó he said.
ÒThatÕs not salmon,Ó the clerk said. ÒItÕs ham.Ó
ÒMister,Ó the customer snapped, Òin case nobody ever told you, you got a big mouth!Ó
-----
Goldberg was the neighborhood smart aleck. When he saw the sign in the deli that said We Serve Every Type of Sandwich, he called the waiter over.
ÒIs that sign true?Ó Goldberg asked.
ÒAbsolutely, positively! We serve every type of sandwich,Ó the waiter replied proudly.
ÒThen bring me an elephant sandwich on toast,Ó Goldberg said.
A slight pause and the waiter replied, ÒIÕm sorry, Mr. Goldberg, but for just one sandwich, we canÕt start another elephant.Ó
-----
A man from Mars lands on Second Avenue in the lower East Side of New York. He goes into a Jewish bakery and asks, ÒWhat are those little wheels in the window?Ó
ÒThose arenÕt wheels,Ó says the storekeeper. ÒTheyÕre called bagels. Here, try oneÉÓ
The Martian bites into the bagel and says, ÒHey! This would go great with some lox and cream cheese!Ó
-----
Jack Grossman, a garment salesman on the road, stopped his car on the main street of a small town in rural Alabama. Tired and hungry and unable to find a restaurant, he walked into a general store that sold hardware and farm supplies and also served food.
ÒWhat can I do for you?Ó the proprietor asked.
ÒYou handle maybe fertilizer?Ó
ÒSure do!Ó
ÒGood,Ó said Grossman. ÒWash your hands and make me a cheese sandwich.Ó
-----
Sol and Herbie were finishing their lunch in a New York restaurant when the waiter asked, ÒTea or coffee, gentlemen?Ó
ÒIÕll have tea,Ó said Sol.
ÒMe too,Ó said Herbie. ÒAnd make sure the glass is clean.Ó
The waiter returned in a few minutes and announced, ÒTwo teas! And which one gets the clean glass?Ó
-----
Benjy finally found a birthday gift for his mother: a parrot that spoke Yiddish. When he called her to find out how she liked the present, she said, ÒDelicious!Ó
ÒMama, you ate a parrot that speaks Yiddish?!?Ó he cried.
ÒSo,Ó she said, Òif he could talk, why didnÕt he say something?Ó
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Inside This Book
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First Sentence:
RUSSIAN BALLET, ITALIAN OPERA, FRENCH CUISINE, and...Jewish humor. Read the first page Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Mel Brooks, New York, Woody Allen, Rodney Dangerfield, Alan King, Lenny Bruce, Borscht Belt, Jerry Seinfeld, Three Jews, Groucho Marx, Miami Beach, Milton Berle, Yom Kippur New!
Books on Related Topics | Concordance | Text Stats Browse Sample Pages:
Front Cover | Table of Contents | First Pages | Back Cover | Surprise Me!
RUSSIAN BALLET, ITALIAN OPERA, FRENCH CUISINE, and...Jewish humor. Read the first page Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Mel Brooks, New York, Woody Allen, Rodney Dangerfield, Alan King, Lenny Bruce, Borscht Belt, Jerry Seinfeld, Three Jews, Groucho Marx, Miami Beach, Milton Berle, Yom Kippur New!
Books on Related Topics | Concordance | Text Stats Browse Sample Pages:
Front Cover | Table of Contents | First Pages | Back Cover | Surprise Me!
Citations (learn more)
This book cites 9
books:
See all 9 books this book cites
5
books
cite this book:
- Annie Hall by Woody Allen on page 5, and page 87
- Adam And Eve: A Story About Making Right Choices (I Can Read the Bible) by Smart Kids Publishing on page 90
- Woody Allen by Rh Value Publishing on page 87
- Hold It by Lisa Ann Marsoli on page 72
- How to Be a Way Cool Grandfather by Verne Steen in Back Matter
See all 9 books this book cites
- Jeff Herman's Guide to Book Publishers, Editors and Literary Agents 2004: Who They Are! What They Want! and How to Win Them Over! (Jeff Herman's Guide to Book Editors, Publishers, and Literary Agents) by Jeff Herman on page 243
- What to Do When You're Dating a Jew : Everything You Need to Know from Matzah Balls to Marriage by Vikki Weiss in Back Matter
- Paintball!: Strategies & Tactics by Bill Barnes in Back Matter
- Sister Stories: The Spirit of Sisterhood by Tricia Eleogram in Back Matter
- The Complete Book of Golf Games, Revised Edition by Scott Johnston in Back Matter
Books on Related Topics
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What Do Customers Ultimately Buy After Viewing This Item?
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55% buy the item featured on this page: 101 Classic Jewish Jokes: Jewish Humor from Groucho Marx to Jerry Seinfeld $9.95 |
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15% buy Oy!: The Ultimate Book of Jewish Jokes $10.17 |
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13% buy Jewish Humor: What the Best Jewish Jokes Say About the Jews $12.60 |
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11% buy The Big Book of Jewish Humor $18.99 |
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