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The Secret Life of Humphrey Bogart: The Early Years (1899-1931) (Paperback)

by Darwin Porter (Author) "It was an idyllic setting, a picture postcard of Victorian life that still thrived in America before its last vestiges were swept away by the..." (more)
Key Phrases: lavender marriage, pussy posse, bad sister, New York, Los Angeles, Humphrey Bogart (more...)

2.2 out of 5 stars See all reviews (29 customer reviews)

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly
Claiming to explore the "young, hot and horny Bogart," former Miami Herald bureau chief Porter has penned a salacious account of the actor's salad days. The book drips with gossipy tidbits from Bogart's years on Broadway and in early Hollywood. For example, Porter (Hollywood's Silent Closet; Midnight in Savannah; etc.) says Bogart worked undercover for Howard Hughes, procuring male escorts for the business tycoon. He also charges that Bogart brought Jean Harlow to Mexico for a secret abortion (it was supposedly Hughes's baby); and gives lots of steamy details about Bogart's own sex life, including trysts with Tallulah Bankhead, Marlene Dietrich, Barbara Stanwyck and Bette Davis. Heavy on obscenity-ridden dialogue and light on official sourcing (Porter bases much of the book on the papers of Bogart's friend Kenneth MacKenna), this book might appeal to Bogart junkies, but readers seeking an extensive, credible biography should look elsewhere. 64 photos.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Review
An awesome piece of research and reportage drawn from the murky depths of the secret closets of Hollywood. -- James Stafford

Bogie was a serial seducer. But he always showed women, including MOI, a real good time. -- Louise Brooks, as told to the author in Rochester, NY

Here, an extraordinary new biography drawing on a wealth of previously unseen material. -- London's Mail on Sunday

Humphrey Bogart fans are seething at what's paraded in this new biography by Darwin Porter. -- Gulf Weekly

It pumps flesh and blood--as well as love, jealousy, hatred, blackmail, intrigue, and violence--into our understanding of Hollywood's Golden Age. -- Gab

Read about all the stuff Bogie never told Lauren Bacall. -- Outrage

This biography is required reading for studies about Hollywood during the 1930s. -- Lothian

We can only hope that Darwin Porter doesn't run into Lauren Bacall in a dark alley. -- Salon.com

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Product Details

Paperback: 528 pages
Publisher: Blood Moon Productions (June 2003)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0966803051
ISBN-13: 978-0966803051
Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 6 x 1.3 inches
Shipping Weight: 1.8 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)

Average Customer Review: 2.2 out of 5 stars See all reviews (29 customer reviews)

Amazon.com Sales Rank: #97,555 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Front Cover | First Pages | Index | Back Cover | Surprise Me!

Inside This Book (learn more)

First Sentence:
It was an idyllic setting, a picture postcard of Victorian life that still thrived in America before its last vestiges were swept away by the coming of the Great War. Read the first page

Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
lavender marriage, pussy posse, bad sister, lesbian play

Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
New York, Los Angeles, Humphrey Bogart, Joan Crawford, Billie Dove, Kay Francis, Helen Menken, Howard Hughes, George Raft, Lilyan Tashman, Bette Davis, Gary Cooper, Mary Philips, Clark Gable, George O'Brien, Douglas Fairbanks, Mack Brown, Long Lance, Spencer Tracy, Jean Harlow, Mary Pickford, Bill Brady, Barbara Stanwyck, Edmund Lowe, Joan Blondell

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Citations (learn more)

1 book cites this book:

France for Dummies, Second Edition by Darwin Porter in Front Matter

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Customer Reviews

29 Reviews

5 star:		(8)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(2)
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Average Customer Review

2.2 out of 5 stars (29 customer reviews)

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

31 of 35 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars This has to be a joke, November 24, 2003

By	M. J. Walters "dargelos" (Chicago, IL USA) - See all my reviews (TOP 1000 REVIEWER)

Possibly the worst-written bio I've ever read, and the most unbelievable. Here's a quick run-down so you don't have to bother:

1) Everyone has slept with everyone else except for Bogart and Bette Davis. Everyone. No point in keeping score because they're all doing it.
2) Most surreal moment, hands down, is George O'Brien showing Bogie an intimate part of his anatomy (and probably not the one you're thinking of!) and then explaining how he keeps it so young-looking, and tasty.
3) Most interactions between people include long conversations which the author could not possibly have been privy to, including a lot of pillow talk. Draw your own conclusions.
4) The narrative is riddled with inconsistencies as small as an inability to decide whether Bogart's favorite meal was ham and eggs or bacon and eggs (and who really cares anyway?), and as large as one minute he likes a salty-talking babe and the next he finds her incredibly vulgar and off-putting.
5) Removed by reviewer so as not to offend anyone.
6) The single most cliche-ridden text I have ever had the misfortune to read.
7) The author manages to make real people, people like Marlene Dietrich, Joan Crawford and Douglas Fairbanks (Jr and Sr) seem like caricatures or pieces of wood...or both.
8) By page 400, any salacious thrills have descended to the level of "Please your mate" spam.
9) Bogart comes across very badly; if you're a big fan, skip this. There are only so many times he can be shocked by the goings-on before you start to want to give him a dime to buy a clue. At best, the author writes him like a teenage girl.
10) Every attempt at conveying a deeply emotional scene is hilariously inept.

I feel like I need a great big brush to clean out my brain, now. If I could give negative stars, this book would've earned a -5.

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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars The Ed Wood of Books, October 21, 2005

By	Gabriel Levin "Bookman" (Toronto) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This is perhaps the worst book ever written. Porter pretends to have written this book through thorough documentation (from interviews, tapes, etc...). Hilariously, not only is he privy to intimate conversations, he also claims to have the inside information on what people were thinking...and not in general terms. This book also contains some of the funniest (albeit filthiest) lines in the history of prose. It's zero stars for quality and 5 stars for enjoyability. Truly an anti-masterpiece that will live on for decades.

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17 of 20 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Lurid? Yes. True? I doubt it., December 23, 2003

By	Edward Garea "Edward Garea" (Branchville, New Jersey United States) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

In today's age, when nothing can said to be sacred, Darwin Porter proves that a certain sort of shock value still persists. Porter, who specializes in the kiss and tell biographical novel, turns his focus to a "straight" biography. In this case he digs up the skeletons that kept company in the closet that was the life of Humphrey Bogart.

In order to concoct such a tome, Porter uses the old tabloid formula: one part truth and one part memories by co-stars (all of whom are conveniently decreased). Blend well, add five parts pure baloney, and presto! A new lurid biography, perfect for those times in the bathroom when a Jackie Collins novel is not available.

So how true is Porter's book? He bases Bogart's early life on incidents that did happen and speculates from there. For instance, it was commonly known that Bogart did not injure his lip during his Naval service as he never saw action. Porter attributes the injury to a beating by Bogart's father. O.K., that is a plausible explanation. So is the intrigue during his first marriage to Helen Mencken, who was one of the shining lights of Broadway's Lavendar Set. However, Porter gets himself in deep literary doo-doo when he begins to speculate about everyone Bogart supposedly slept with, and the reader can almost feel the book's theme derail as Porter plays a "can you top this" game with himself. If Bogart were truly the rake Porter makes him out to be, one wonders how he ever found time to act.

Porter cites the notes on Bogart's life by Bogart's friend and fellow actor Kenneth MacKenna and gossip columnist Stanley Haggart. Porter also depends on the testimony of such co-stars as Joan Blondell, Ruth Gordon, George Raft, Eric Linden and Mercedes de Acosta. The problem here is that the sources were well into the twilight of their years when interviewed and we don't know for sure whether they were working Porter to an extent or whether they had reached the age where legend becomes fact.

The use of a form of narrative usually found in a novel is also a hinderance, as neither Porter nor his sources could have been privy to the sort of intimate conversations he claims took place.

And finally, take into consideration the author's praise for Kenneth Anger, who brought back into vogue the sort of reporting one thought had died with the demise of "Confidential" magazine.

The book is a naughty pleasure, but in the final review, reader beware.

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Most Recent Customer Reviews

1.0 out of 5 stars A truly hateful book
This was the most nasty, filthy book I have ever read. Well, I only read half of it and could not stomach any more. Read more

Published 2 months ago by Nellie Steen

5.0 out of 5 stars Wonderful Parody/Satire of the stars.
This is an enjoyable read! It's funny and over the top, and of course it's all baloney, but that is what makes this book so enjoyable. Read more

Published 4 months ago by John C. Spahn

1.0 out of 5 stars Beaten to a Pulp Fiction
I stumbled upon this book with its extensive online excerpts while researching Eva Von Berne, a Viennese actress-model discovered by Irving Thalberg and Norma Shearer on their... Read more

Published 22 months ago by Richard Adkins

1.0 out of 5 stars Skip this one unless you love the tabloids!
Totally agree with all the negative reviews about this book! I've gotten up to chapter 6, after about 2 weeks of reading, and I'm not sure I can go on. Read more

Published on June 20, 2007 by A. Rinderer

1.0 out of 5 stars Mean-spirited hogwash
That this trash is a hideous pack of lies is a given. Did it ever occur to this Porter imbecile that all the dead people he delights in lewdly slandering have descendents? Read more

Published on May 23, 2007 by Michael Keller

1.0 out of 5 stars Barrel, Bottom Of
I was given this book as a birthday treat from a wonderful young man who is a friend of recent standing. Read more

Published on February 21, 2007 by Kevin Killian

1.0 out of 5 stars Laughable at best!!!!
I will issue this caveat,I am hardly homophobic and a very liberal person to say the least,that said:This book can only be looked at as a joke.It would seem Mr. Read more

Published on January 24, 2006 by REPO

1.0 out of 5 stars A very bizarre attempt at biography
I find myself having to agree with readers giving this book negative reviews.

I say this not out of mere loyalty to Bogart. Read more

Published on June 2, 2005 by Michael J. Leamon

1.0 out of 5 stars Just plain silly!
I knew this book would be more a work of fiction, then biography, but I thought the author might do something fun and creative with this, with a real sense of history. Read more

Published on May 17, 2005 by E. Rubens

5.0 out of 5 stars Great Fun! Shut up! Whoa Nellie!
The most fun I've had reading a film bio. I bought every word! A camp classic! I think every other reviewer here should slap themselves upside the head. Read more

Published on December 5, 2004 by Dino Centro

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