The Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection, Vol. 1 (Bloodlust / Catalina Caper / The Creeping Terror / Skydivers) (1988)

This is the first of the four-episode collections of "Mystery Science Theater 3000" offered from Rhino (previously they had only offered them in single DVD editions). It contains an interesting mix of movies: a science-fiction horror flick, a drama about skydivers, a 60s beach comedy, and a thriller on a tropical island. Three of the episodes come from the excellent sixth season, when Mike Nelson was the human host and the wisecracks and comments had become razor sharp and fast and furious. One episode comes from the second season, when the show had a more laid-back, friendly humor when Joel Hodgson was the host. Although this collection skews toward the later seasons, it is still a good general introduction to the show for newcomers, since most of the episodes are terrific. Fans who favor Joel Hodgson's style won't enjoy this as much as the second and third box set, but for most fans the inclusion of "The Skydivers" and "The Creeping Terror" make it a must-own.

Here's what you get:

BLOODLUST! Episode #607. A rip-off of "The Most Dangerous Game," only with young college kids (one of whom is Robert Reed, future Brady Bunch dad!). The four dummies land on a jungle island to go exploring and become trapped by the rich but extremely wishy-washy maniac millionaire who owns the island. Apparently, he enjoys hunting down people to turn them into stuffed trophies. The film isn't really awful, just completely unoriginal and acted with total flatness. Robert Reed never seems more than mildly "cheesed" and "fed up" (to quote Mike and `Bots) with the life-threatening situation. But it's season six, and the show's writers couldn't do any wrong at this point, and the result is the usual hilarious romp.

CATALINA CAPER. Episode #204. This is the only Joel Hodgson episode in the collection, and it's an oddball entry in MST3K history: it's the only time the show took on an overt comedy. True, "Catalina Caper," a teen 60s bikini beach comedy, isn't funny at all, but since it doesn't take itself seriously it becomes a tough target to make fun off. Joel and the `Bots have a good time with the lousy `prat-fall' comic, the awful musical numbers (one featuring Little Richard, waaaay out of his element), skinny Tommy Kirk, and the famous `creepy girl,' but this is a spotty episode and the weakest in this pack. Don't form your opinions of Joel's episodes based on this one.

THE CREEPING TERROR. Episode #606. This is a classic, and one of the worst films the MST3K team ever took on. A big shag carpet (oh, excuse me, I meant `alien') starts eating the citizens of a quiet California town; or at least it gets close enough to them so they can hoist themselves into its mouth. And why is the town so quiet? Because while making the film, someone accidentally kicked the sound equipment into a lake, so the whole movie has almost NO DIRECT SOUND. Yep, we instead have a narrator telling us what the characters are saying, doing, discussing, and so on. You have to see it (or hear it) to believe it! Mike and the `Bots unload on this one, and it's a scream. One of the funniest episodes ever.

THE SKYDIVERS. Episode #609. One of the most beloved of all MST3K episodes. Writer Paul Chaplin said of it: "I don't want to criticize this movie. I'm too fond of the final result for our show...there's never been a better movie for our treatment." I'll drink to that. This drama about the loves and losses of people working at a parachuting school is so weird, so bizarrely scripted, so awfully acted, filled with so many inexplicably wack-o characters, and shot with such stunning ineptitude that it positively amazes. The riffing from the hosts is some of the best, sharpest commentary they ever did. This is the first of three movies MST3K did from director Coleman Francis (who makes Ed Wood look like Orson Welles!). The second one, "Red Zone Cuba" is available on its own DVD. The third, "The Beast of Yucca Flats" isn't out yet, and Rhino should really get this one on a future collection.

All four films are offered in "non-MST3K" versions on the flip side of their discs, which is a nice feature if you really want to see how much the show added to these awful films. "Bloodlust" and "Catalina Caper" are all right - although dull - on their own, but see how long you can sit through the other two without Mike and Robots before you tear your eyes out!

So there you have it, three of the most phenomenally funny episodes of MST3K, plus one of the most unusual. A great package for fans and newcomers alike! (Just watch out for acid in your parachute!)

Here are some short comments on each of the four episodes.

BLOODLUST: Starring Robert "The Brady Dad" Reed in the tightest tee-shirt you're ever likely to see, this film has a bunch of young people running around an island inhabited by an enigmatic homicidal maniac. In case you hadn't figured it out, it's the homicidal maniac who has the bloodlust. Also on this disc is the short film: UNCLE JIM'S DAIRY FARM, "the farm of secrets and lies", where two city folks drop off their two annoying kids on their country relatives. Poor kids. Poor audience.

CATALINA CAPER: It has Little Richard! And precious little else. A film that isn't sure whether it wants to be serious or funny. I'd settle on "funny", except that none of the jokes are. It's sort of like what you'd expect Gilligan's Island to be like if you crossed it with a bad episode of Dragnet and threw in some random musical numbers (and God help me, but I actually like some of the songs; I think I need help). "Join me in my Bath of Death!"

THE CREEPING TERROR: You won't believe how bad this movie is. If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes I wouldn't have imagined that something like this could have been made. Allegedly, during the production of this low-budget thriller, they accidentally dropped the sound equipment into a pond. Anyone else would have said fair enough and taken this as a hint from above as to the quality of the film. But, no, they go ahead anyway... without sound. The majority of the talking scenes are completed by having a narrator tell us what the people are discussing. You see characters' lips moving, but all you hear is the strange voice of the narrator imparting random information. You couldn't make this sort of thing up. There's a simply wonderful scene where one cop talks to another one about the joys of marriage and settling down. The narrator, with all the subtlety of a slow-moving monster, takes great pains to point out exactly what lessons the cops are learning. Unbelievable!

The monster itself is the epitome of all bad movie creatures. It moves along at the slowest pace imaginable and relies on its victims to not only avoid running away but to actually pull themselves up into its mouth. Strangely enough, most of the monster's dinners manage to show off a lot of leg during the process of being horribly devoured. So much silliness in one film makes this an ideal candidate for MST3k, and this is one of their stronger efforts.

THE SKYDIVERS: This movie is about skydivers - and nothing else. People repeatedly throw themselves out of airplanes, and when they aren't actually skydiving, they're talking about skydiving, or drinking in skydiving themed bars. There may have been some sort of plot, but I must have blinked and missed it. Shame. This episode comes with a short feature, WHY STUDY INDUSTRIAL ARTS. A frankly disturbing look at why kids in the '50s should have signed up for their High School Industrial Arts class. Lots of great opportunities for mocking, and the gang don't miss any.

Each of these discs contains the original, uncut, unMST3ked versions of the films on the flip side. Approach these editions with extreme caution.