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fathermothergod: My Journey Out of Christian Science [Hardcover]

Lucia Greenhouse
4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (87 customer reviews)

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Book Description

August 9, 2011
Lucia Ewing had what looked like an all-American childhood. She lived with her mother, father, sister, and brother in an affluent suburb of Minneapolis, where they enjoyed private schools, sleep-away camps, a country club membership, and skiing vacations. Surrounded by a tight-knit extended family, and doted upon by her parents, Lucia had no doubt she was loved and cared for. But when it came to accidents and illnesses, Lucia’s parents didn't take their kids to the doctor's office--they prayed, and called a Christian Science practitioner. 
 
fathermothergod is Lucia Greenhouse's story about growing up in Christian Science, in a house where you could not be sick, because you were perfect; where no medicine, even aspirin, was allowed. As a teenager, her visit to an ophthalmologist created a family crisis. She was a sophomore in college before she had her first annual physical. And in December 1985, when Lucia and her siblings, by then young adults, discovered that their mother was sick, they came face-to-face with the reality that they had few--if any--options to save her. Powerless as they watched their mother’s agonizing suffering, Lucia and her siblings struggled with their own grief, anger, and confusion, facing scrutiny from the doctors to whom their parents finally allowed them to turn, and stinging rebuke from relatives who didn’t share their parents’ religious values. 
 
In this haunting, beautifully written book, Lucia pulls back the curtain on the Christian Science faith and chronicles its complicated legacy for her family.  At once an essentially American coming-of-age story and a glimpse into the practices of a religion few really understand, fathermothergod is an unflinching exploration of personal loss and the boundaries of family and faith.  
 

Frequently Bought Together

fathermothergod: My Journey Out of Christian Science + God's Perfect Child: Living and Dying in the Christian Science Church + Blue Windows: A Christian Science Childhood
Price for all three: $49.13

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Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Lee Woodruff Reviews fathermothergod

As co-author of the best-selling In an Instant, Lee Woodruff garnered critical acclaim for the compelling chronicle of her family’s journey to recovery following her husband Bob’s roadside bomb injury in Iraq. She recently published her second book, Perfectly Imperfect: A Life in Progress. Her first novel will be published in summer 2012. At present, Woodruff lives in Westchester County, New York, with her husband and four children.

Some of the most compelling memoirs make their marks because they allow us access to what we know is the ugly, dysfunctional side of being in a family, no matter how brightly scrubbed and polished its exterior might be.

So when someone you know writes a memoir, there is an extra dimension of interest (full disclosure, Greenhouse is a friend). Not only do you become privy to information they might not share in a prison cell, but it’s a personal invitation to look inside someone’s psyche and under the beds where all the dirty laundry and family secrets are whispering.

Ten pages into Lucia Greenhouse’s fathermothergod, I knew that this book would deliver. It was much more than a person’s disillusionment with her religion; it was a soul-searching, sometimes jaw-dropping read about how dogmatic religion can splinter a family. And it is a beautifully written account of how one woman set out to heal after walking away from the wreckage of her childhood.

I knew very little about Christian Science, and in fact, more of the religion’s history that I wanted came later in the book. Other than the famous news items and a few horror stories I’d heard in childhood about people refusing to go to the hospital, in the sixties the Christian Scientist religion seemed to me to lurk semi-shamefully in the background, its interior rituals shrouded like today’s Scientology.

A lot of what Greenhouse has to say will, I’m sure, anger the church. And she never presents the tale as anything other than her version of events. But she writes searingly about coming of age at a time when father knew best. Raised by a dominant Christian Scientist “healer” father and a compliant mother, Greenhouse writes absorbingly about her family’s inability to take aspirin or even get eyeglasses, due to their beliefs. The reader wants to scoop her up and hug her, scold the parents for their inattention and blind devotion to doctrine at the expense of bloodlines and relationships.

Greenhouse aptly sets the stage for her life--the many moves, the well-heeled trust-fund background that presumably supports them, the private schools and lifestyle (although I found myself wanting to know more about this)--so that when her mother becomes ill and is isolated by Lucia’s father, you want to rail and weep at such unnecessary waste, the careless squandering of filial love.

What haunted me about fathermothergod long after I’d flown through the pages was the thought-provoking conundrum in which religion had bound the children. What if you didn’t speak up? What if your age, those precarious years between the teens and adulthood, made you second-guess your loyalties? What if a lifetime of parental obedience was in direct conflict with the horrors that unspooled before your eyes? Greenhouse chronicles all of this in engrossing detail and the book reverberates with honesty, regret, pain, love, and then the resilience of a person determined, in the aftermath of tragedy, to write her own life’s next chapter. I heartily recommend this read.


Review

"A courageous and finely crafted portrait of a young woman struggling with her family, her faith and that awkward space between being a child and growing into adulthood." -- Minneapolis Star Tribune

fathermothergod is a heart-wrenching coming of age memoir about the implosion of a family when Christian Science dogma encounters a mother's grave illness. It's impossible to read this and not put yourself in the author's shoes—this will take your breath away.”
—Lee Woodruff, author of Perfectly Imperfect and In an Instant

A riveting and heart-rending memoir, fathermothergod: My Journey Out of Christian Science exposes the monstrous feats of neglect fostered by this strange American manifestation of religious fanaticism. Tracing her mother’s decline and its lacerating consequences, Lucia Greenhouse knows the truth about Christian Science, and she tells it with passionate, righteous indignation.
Caroline Fraser, author of God’s Perfect Child:  Living and Dying in the Christian Science Church

"Lucia Greenhouse's book is a heart-breaking reminder of how nefarious religious zealotry can be. Her story drew me in and blew me away. This is an important addition to the genre of memoirs by children who escaped religious hucksterism and are now bravely exposing it."
—Julia Scheeres, author of Jesus Land

“[A] powerfully affecting memoir . . . Greenhouse’s skill in rendering family relationships under the intersecting stresses of illness and conflicting beliefs make the book worthwhile . . . reading. Wrenchingly courageous.”
—Kirkus Reviews

“Through this memoir, readers will see how even those closest to us can remain a mystery.”
—Library Journal

“A touching book that puts a human face on Christian Science.”
Booklist

“Rather than a journey out of a faith, this is the story of one woman’s questioning and anguish over her parents’ choices…. Teens wondering about their own faith, their parents’ expectations, and how to marry the two will find that this book resonates with them. It will also appeal to anyone wanting to know what it’s like to grow up in Christian Science…Suggest that readers have tissues close at hand.”
School Library Journal

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 320 pages
  • Publisher: Crown; 1St Edition edition (August 9, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0307720926
  • ISBN-13: 978-0307720924
  • Product Dimensions: 6.4 x 1.1 x 9.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.6 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (87 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #717,561 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Christian Science survivor, mother and author of "fathermothergod" a coming-of-age memoir about growing up in a family which shunned medicine in favor of prayer.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
35 of 39 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Uncomfortably Thought Provoking August 15, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
I was born and raised in a devoted and loving Christian Science Family. I attended for a year a Christian Science high school and went to a Christian Science sleep away camp. My mother was a convert when she married my dad having been raised in the episcopal faith with a father who was a doctor and a mother who was a nurse. My memories were not as challenging as Lucias as a young child. I never questioned not going to doctors but was a bit jealous of my best friend who got lollipops when she went to hers. All was pretty rosy from my perspective until I was about 18 years old when my brother almost died from an outbreak of measles while attending a christian science school. It challenged my family to it's core. It began my own spiritual journey and I was blessed to have two parents who allowed their children spiritual freedom. But Lucia's story resonated on many levels. Many times while reading her story I found myself audibly saying UGH! I think Lucia's story is not just about christian science but about ANY faith that is taken to an extreme. Lucia's parents let their egos dictate their course. I am glad there was no serious physical challenge for Lucia and her brother and sister when they were little. Lucia's story is also about children growing up and declaring their own independence. Lucia is feisty and courageous and I cheered her bravery!
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19 of 22 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars steadfast FATHER, ill MOTHER, and GOD August 8, 2011
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Vine™ Review (What's this?)
Lucia Greenhouse not only portrayed what HER experience was with losing a parent, but what we ALL go through during these difficult times. The only difference for Lucia? That her parents were strong believers in Christian Science and refused traditional medical care. I say this is the only difference, but in fact it is a large and looming difference that made their story even more heartbreaking.

I never had a real understanding of Christian Science, and through this book I learned a great deal about the beliefs, traditions and lifestyle that accompanies it. The book begins in Lucia's childhood, and she did a wonderful job of writing in a tone that made me feel as if I was hearing this portion of the story from a young girl's perspective.

The story and the tone changes as Lucia and her siblings enter adulthood and begin to make choices of their own about whether or not to follow their parent's beliefs. They are struck with the knowledge that their mother seems to be gravely ill and has chosen to follow the path of Christian Science healing through the mind & with prayer. The struggle that the entire family goes through while trying to understand each other's point of view, respect each other's choices and ultimately try to find a resolution for their mother before it is too late, is incredibly honest and raw.

I definitely recommend this vividly true story to anyone who has an interest in learning more about the reality of Christian Science, to those who have lost a loved one by any means (it is quite relatable no matter your religious beliefs), and to families who have found themselves torn apart by illness. Lucia's story happened a while ago and her perspective looking back (as well as her family's willingness to also do so) is inspiring.
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35 of 43 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars from a Christian Scientist's perspective September 19, 2011
By carlmn
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
This book certainly captured my attention! The author has put her thoughts into words that relive and perhaps relieve all of the emotional pain aimed at her exposure to Christian Science. The Christian Science I know, and was raised in, is completely different. How sad that one author's perspective will taint the public image of many who may never know this religion which has enlightened thousands with a sense of love and freedom...and yes, healing. The Christian Science church I am a part of sends flowers and makes visits to hospitals, never ignoring or abandoning one another in times of need. We don't deny the challenges that come our way, we rally to help, uplift and encourage with faith, prayer and love, regardless of one's choice to receive Christian Science treatment or medical care. I would not be able to profess the beneficial effects of Christian Science if I had not experienced healing myself - healings which the medical practice would call 'unexplainable'. I've had these kinds of physical healings, so I am able to live my faith as an example, without a need to force doctrine which would seem abstract without proof. My four children grew up in a household environment so assured of God's loving care for them, that there was rarely illness in our home, or a need for medical aide, which was never denied. The book portrays the kind of Christian Science practice that loses perspective of it's true mission, one beyond physical healing- which is to unite, embrace and respect with compassion every individual right where they are- in or out of medical care- with a growing recognition of their relationship to God.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars Chosen by my book club
Not a book I would have read on my own if not for my book club. I thought the author did a very good job of keeping on track with her personal timeline; she held my interest with... Read more
Published 6 days ago by Susan L. Baxter
4.0 out of 5 stars 3.5 stars
As an atheist, I don't have a liking to religion very much. I can see why so many people flock to it, but it has no place in my life. Read more
Published 17 days ago by R.D.
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book
So much of my experience growing up in Christian Science is akin to Lucia Greenhouse's experience. It was cathartic to read. Read more
Published 22 days ago by Catherine Noordenbos
3.0 out of 5 stars Mixed Feelings
First of all,I am not a Christian Scientist.I am not trying to defend that Faith,per se. However,I have studied it quite a bit.My main reason for not embracing it is Mrs. Read more
Published 2 months ago by seeker31
5.0 out of 5 stars Eye Opener
I grew up with a friend that was Christian Science and she was very smart, but always kept to herself. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Library Lady
5.0 out of 5 stars Great account of perils of rigid faith
I grew up around Christian Science and feel this is a wonderful cautionary tale about a faith grown too rigid and unyielding. Read more
Published 3 months ago by Quickbeam
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Read
I bought this book because I have friends in Christian Science and wanted to learn a little more about the practice of their beliefs. Read more
Published 3 months ago by baseballfan28
5.0 out of 5 stars Religious extremism is alive and well in the USA
In this searing and utterly honest memoir fathermothergod: My Journey Out of Christian Science, former Christian Scientist Lucia Greenhouse describes her life with a father so... Read more
Published 3 months ago by Liz Heywood
2.0 out of 5 stars some people need more editing
As a children's advocate I applaud anything that attacks institutions or individuals that abuse and/or neglect children. This book, however, was not engaging. Read more
Published 3 months ago by dr magic
2.0 out of 5 stars A memoir that attempts to make sweeping generalizations
It's hard to critique a memoir... everyone's story and feelings are legitimate and worthy of telling. Read more
Published 3 months ago by Ekabay
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Topic From this Discussion
Response to John Groves's Review
Yea, if you are looking for justification for your confirmation bias and unfalsifiable faith, sure. Sam Harris said, "religion allows us by the millions to believe what only lunatics or idiots could believe on their own".
13 days ago by John Grove |  See all 28 posts
Message for Lucia
Lucia,
I could have written the same message Karen has given you. She described the same kind of Christian Science home I was raised in. I am very happy to be a part of a new generation of Christian Scientists who understand first and foremost the value of Love-lived...which always unites, never... Read more
Sep 19, 2011 by carlmn |  See all 4 posts
Should adults be forced to have medical care?
Well Karen...I, as well, was (am) a great admirer of Elizabeth Edwards. I credit her first book with helping me get through a very hard period after the illness and loss of my mother.
I know that Elizabeth would very much agree with me in saying that there are millions in this country who are... Read more
Aug 23, 2011 by Spindrift |  See all 7 posts
Being raised in CS...
You sound wonderfully 'un-loopy' to me! I am a Christian, who studies Christian Science as an individual thinker beyond how the church organization (with many oral traditions) may interpret the teachings. It is my religion because it has shown me how Love heals both mind and body - and has taught... Read more
Sep 19, 2011 by carlmn |  See all 15 posts
How can you journey "out" of something when you were never IN it?
I haven't read this book yet but certainly plan to. i was raised in Christian Science and from what I've read in the reviews it sounds like my life story. The big difference being my Father was not a CS.
However, my Mother was a strong religious person and it becomes very hard to just "turn... Read more
Aug 5, 2011 by L. Anderson |  See all 5 posts
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