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Moment-of-Broken-ness Testimonies

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Initial post: May 12, 2011 11:00:25 AM PDT
Believers who have experienced Spiritual conversion often have a story to tell about a point in which they became heart-broken. A sort of low-point in which they realize they aren't in control--and never really were--and humbly let go. We pray to God for help. We see ourselves, our lives, as messes. Pride falls away and in its place God's love overwhelms us, his Spirit fills us. We are never the same. Our desires change and we are made new. Tell me your story. Janice Daugharty

Posted on May 12, 2011 11:21:18 AM PDT
Back again (afraid of losing what I'd just written.

My testimony, my moment of broken-ness: Four years ago, I was driving home to South Georgia from vacation at a Florida beach. Alone. My husband had left at dawn after a big fight begun by me the night before. We've been married 48 years and I will never understand how, except that God and my husband kept giving me one more chance, one more chance, one more opportunity to control my temper and humble myself. I used to be what you might call "hot headed." I can think of another word frequently used and more fitting. But this morning, driving home, I felt physically sick. Of course I was spiritually sick but couldn't have recognized that because it was such a part of my overall misery. I remember the day was very hot, humid day with clouds and sun striping the highway. My car weaving in and out of intermittent sun and shadows of clouds and trees. I began to cry, self-pityingly at first, thinking about the pistol in the compartment on my right. Then the more I thought about it the more I considered stopping at a state park on the final leg of my drive. I would stop there and not reconsider--not this time, and not for spite--shooting myself in the head. Of course, I thought, I had to. I couldn't live with myself anymore, literally. More stripes of sun and shadow. Then I really broke down, raking sobs, total broken-ness and said, "God help me! I need you, Lord." The sun came out, shining brightly, and I was filled with a strange warmth and light. I felt love pour over me. I felt new. Oh, Lord, I prayed, never let me go back to who I was, where I was. I never have. There's more background to this story and the story of my life, having believed I'd been saved before, a whole lot of stuff. But what's important here is my ability to say I'm sorry to my family, my husband, and especially to my Savior, and really mean it. Janice Daugharty

In reply to an earlier post on May 12, 2011 1:41:22 PM PDT
T. D. Mills says:
Hi Janice, God is so good and loving and when we humbly and sincerely cry out to Him, He is there for us. Praise God that the Holy Spirit enabled you to cry out in your time of need. I don't have a broken-hearted conversion story because I was saved in Sunday school when I was six years old. I praise God that I was saved at a young age and have known Him all my life because as I read these discussions and see how lost people are and how many religious choices there are out there, I am so thankful that I didn't have to try to figure out which religion is really the true religion and what god is the true God. Satan is such a deceiver and there are so many people being led down the path of everlasting destruction. I can't remember when Jesus wasn't part of my life and I am so thankful. It's not about religion but about a relationship with the One True God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob through His Son Jesus Christ, the Messiah, the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords.

In reply to an earlier post on May 12, 2011 1:45:25 PM PDT
Thank you, T.D. What a beautiful testimony on the need for early salvation. Yes, think what your life could have been. Your inner beauty shines through. Love reading you in the forums. I'm on some forum about abortion, pro and con, right now and getting crucified. Janice

In reply to an earlier post on May 12, 2011 8:51:21 PM PDT
Last edited by the author on May 12, 2011 9:05:54 PM PDT
Yes Janice, that is precisely what is happening in my life right now and has been for about a year.

I am not sure I can tell the story right now, still too difficult and I am better off not going there mentally and emotionally anyway.
But I can tell you that the old saying,

"When everything is gone, you find out the only thing you need is God"

is very true and real.

I am still in the Potters hand and on the wheel spinning round and round, what I will end up like is only a vision in the Potters mind, I am anxiously waiting to see the final product.

I have had an encounter with the Lord when He asked me "if I would yield to Him" and I said "YES" and I have been 100% yeilding to Him ever since and He has changed me, my life, my future.

I was close to ending my life at one point, but, God redeemed me from all those thoughts and has given me a new hope and an exciting future.

I praise Him and thank Him everday. I am once again learning to live my life, but this time, with a new outlook.

Thanks for asking. I think it is a great topic by the way :)

In reply to an earlier post on May 12, 2011 9:02:57 PM PDT
Last edited by the author on May 12, 2011 9:08:33 PM PDT
That is a great testimony Janice. I am so happy you are here to tell us this.
I understand completely. I had the same thing go on with me, only mine is in my night stand next to my bed. Many nights I had held it against me crying and begging God to help me not pull that trigger. Thank God, He answered me.
Years ago I use to think how in the world can anyone ever get to the point of wanting to end thier own life? I thought, that is just not good, they had to be messed up in the head, and I judged them for it! I did!
I had no right! I had no idea what was happening in their life.
Often times I wondered if I received the same infliction just as a learning lesson that I should not judge someone else.

I have repented of this and will NEVER look at it the same ever again. I will never again judge anyone who says they thought about ending their life. People do not understand what is happening in our life and in our hearts and in our minds.

I do believe that the devil makes us think we want to end our life and we can not yeild to those thoughts. But I didn't understand any of that before it happened to me.

Life is a journey and we learn along the way, and share with others, and help others.

Your story can help a lot of people. Use it as a tool for the Lord.

Blessings to you Janice :)

In reply to an earlier post on May 12, 2011 9:05:23 PM PDT
Oh dear! That is a tough subject on these very liberal forums. One would think on a Christianity forum that would not be the case but it is.

In reply to an earlier post on May 13, 2011 8:04:16 AM PDT
Harlee, thank you so much for this heartening testimony. Maybe you've heard the song, "How Far the East is From the West," something like that. Anyhow, I don't want to run into the sad old Janice ever again. I'm praying for you, Harlee. Still a work in progress too. Janice

In reply to an earlier post on May 13, 2011 9:27:44 AM PDT
T. D. Mills says:
Amen sisters, we are all still works in progress and God will strengthen us and grow us into a child worthy of the King if we continue to seek Him in all things. Keeping our eyes on Jesus is the key no matter how difficult things get. I have learned not to trust the things of the world and not to put our trust in people but to keep our eyes on Jesus. Peter walked on water until he was distracted and took His eyes off of Jesus and then he sank; but when He cried out to Jesus; he was right there to grab and save Him and it is the same with us. I don't care if a doctor give you a report that you have 6 months to live because the tests all say so; that is a ploy of the devil to get you to take your eyes and trust off of God; God is greater than any test; He is greater than death itself; if we trust God and keep our eyes on Him and obey His world and trust in His biblical promises He will see us through and bless us in the process. God wants to bless us and heal us and love us and grow us the only thing that is stopping Him is us. Faith and obedience is the key to opening the blessings of heavens upon our lives! When we learn to completely trust God and turn over everything to Him and instead of worrying and living with anxiety we spend our time praising Him and doing whatever we can to bring glory to His name while He is working out our issues; you experience the greatest sense freedom and it won't be long before you are saying; Praise God, look what the Lord has done! Blessings sisters!

In reply to an earlier post on May 13, 2011 9:43:18 AM PDT
How beautiful! Pray for us, T.D. Only when we let go... Janice

In reply to an earlier post on May 13, 2011 11:28:36 AM PDT
T. D. Mills says:
Amen Janice! I pray that God's blessings are poured out upon you, and every believer that comes to this discussion; that you have an unquenchable thirst to get to know God better. I pray that when trouble comes you consider it an opportunity of great joy, for we know that when our faith is tested our endurance has a chance to grow and be perfected. I pray for strength and power in your inner man and that the Holy Spirit flow though your personality. I know that the Holy Spirit within me takes hold together with me against the evils that would attempt to hold you in bondage. I thank God that because Jesus died on the cross and defeated Satan, I have power and authority over the enemy and I exercise that power and authority and put him and his demons in his rightful place, which is under my feet. In the name of the Lord Jesus and by His blood, I break the power of the devil and his demons over every area of your lives and I claim your deliverance from the bondage of Satan according to Matthew 16:19; 18:18; Ephesians 6:12; Luke 10:19; John 10:10; Psalms 60:12 and 2 Corinthians 10:4-5. I pray that God bless you so that you can be a blessing to everyone you come into contact with. I pray that God grant you a spirit of wisdom and understand revelation and spiritual insight in the knowledge of Him and His Word. I pray that God give His angels charge over you to accompany, defend and preserve you in all ways; that when you lie down you will not be afraid and your sleep shall be sweet. I pray that God will fill you with His joy; so that your joy might be full and fill you with His peace which transcends all understand and fill your heart and mind through Christ Jesus. I pray that God will meet all your need according to His will and purpose and have mercy on you and pour His grace upon you. Let your life be used to show the greatness and goodness of our God and His eternal love no matter what you face. I pray that He fill you with strength and boldness so that you can endure everything that comes your way giving honor and glory to His name. Above all I pray for the glory of Jesus name. Amen!

In reply to an earlier post on May 13, 2011 12:31:07 PM PDT
I love you, my sister. Thank you for this powerful prayer. I can feel it rising up inside me, healing me and empowering me. Your words are straight from the Holy Spirit. Don't quit your forum about Christ coming soon. It's a much-needed message. I've priced my latest novel "A Righteous Wind" free where allowed (Kindle won't drop below .99). It's the same message as on your forum but told in a different way. Pray Christ can use both for the purpose of guiding the lost in understanding.

In reply to an earlier post on May 13, 2011 12:44:54 PM PDT
T. D. Mills says:
I love you too Janice, what a day it will be when we can all meet in person in the midst of our Lord and Savior! If you will send me your address through email; you are on my profile friends list so you should be able to access my email address, I will send you a copy of my book "Simplifying the Christian Life." I wrote it out of obedience to God and it is about what He taught me when we were told my husband had pulmonary fibrosis and was going to die, absolutely no hope. God healed Him and gave Him 2 new lungs. It will increase your faith. We are currently in another battle, that pesky devil will not give up trying to steal, kill and destroy our lives, but we know what he doesn't "greater is He that is in my than he that is in the world." My hubby has now been diagnosed with ALS. I know with every fiber of my being God will heal Him and use this for His glory too. I just keep trusting my Lord as I walk along. He is so awesome and so faithful and keeps me in such wonderful peace and truly filled with the joy of the Lord. God is using both of us in ways that glory will be brought to His name! Blessings and please feel free to email me anytime if you just want to talk or need prayer.

In reply to an earlier post on May 17, 2011 2:05:34 PM PDT
How are doing today Janice?

Are you keeping the Peace of God in your heart?

Anytime you think the sad Janice is creeping back put on some praise music. You may not feel like it, but make yourself do it, and you will find it will uplift you. This is one thing I have learned lately.
:)

Blessings sister!

In reply to an earlier post on May 17, 2011 5:03:26 PM PDT
Harlee, thank you. I did that today driving into town (Valdosta, Ga, 30 miles from home). Then the cd started garbling the song. Go figure! I pray you are doing well. I'm good, very good. My novel "A Righteous Wind" was selected by Kindle for some sort of promotion--reduced price to zero. It's about to hit the top ten. I don't care about the money anyway; I just believe the message is important. About 3,000 downloads today. I'm praying for you right now. Good night, Janice Thanks to you and T.D. for acknowledging this forum.

In reply to an earlier post on May 18, 2011 9:13:04 PM PDT
Last edited by the author on May 18, 2011 9:14:22 PM PDT
Patsy says:
Hi Janice - I had that broken heart conversion when God's love flooded me and I finally, for the first time in my life, felt true love.

It was in 1978. A month or so before a friend had told me I needed Jesus, then she gave me a little booklet to explain the main problem with humanity and the awesome Solution.

So to give a little bit of background - my dad began to sexually abuse me when I was only eight. Exactly 17 days before my 13th birthday I got my first chance to say NO. My dad was an abuser in any way he could abuse and my mom never was a mother to me. I left home when I was 14 or 15 before I had a chance to date any boy or go to any proms. When I turned 27, I had two children by two different husbands and I was still searching for love.

So it was a snowy winter day in Idaho. It was a Saturday and my husband had taken our two kids out grocery shopping and I stayed home to take a nap. I laid on the couch and turned on the TV to find something that would lull me to sleep. It ended up being a movie that didn't lull me to sleep, but caught my attention. It was about a little boy who had been given to an orphanage by his own parents. That hit a cord with me and it got worse. The little boy stopped talking; he was only about 5 and he was so cute and innocent. His heartbreak was evident. The orphanage director tried his best to get him to talk but the little boy wouldn't, or couldn't. One day he took the little boy outside for a walk and they sat down under a tree and he started telling him about Jesus and how much He loved him. That's when I broke...I identified with that little boy and the message from the orphanage director pierced my heart. I began to sob and God felt sorry for me. He came down from heaven in the form of the Holy Spirit and held me in His arms and then He whispered in my ear "I love you and that is all that matters"....I asked Him "what about my dad?" and He told me to forgive and love him, which he also gave me the strength and ability to do. Immediately I forgave my dad and began to cry for him and God filled me with His Holy Spirit and His Love and it was the first time in my life I felt true blue love. I was a brand new person - my baggage of heartache was gone. I couldn't believe what He had done for me and I have never looked back; that was 33 years ago and I just love Him more and more every day. I know He exists, He changed my life. He is my Saviour and my God.

God bless you Janice, and God bless us all.

In reply to an earlier post on May 19, 2011 6:23:03 AM PDT
Oh, Patsy. How beautiful! People who haven't experienced God's love don't understand. I'm praying for you right now and I thank you for adding your testimony to this forum. Please visit again. Love in Christ, Janice

Posted on May 19, 2011 2:26:24 PM PDT
Last edited by the author on May 19, 2011 2:27:36 PM PDT
Hi Janice, I'm so glad I found this thread! I will track it so I can join in the discussion for I have had many moments of brokenness. At one time I was so depressed as a single mom, I wanted to end it all. What kept me from doing it was my son, I couldn't imagine my X raising him and how he would turn out. What a journey I had when my mom gave me some tapes on deliverance that changed my life. I was so shy and afraid to speak and testify about my faith, that after my deliverance I totally surrendered my life and asked, "Please God, do with me what you will, but please don't make me speak in public." Now I will shout to the world in public, "JESUS IS THE CHRIST, THE SON OF THE LIVING GOD!" I've even written a novel about how people will be deceived in the last days called SCARS: An Amazing End-Times Prophecy Novel.

It's so nice to be here in good company!

Patience

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In reply to an earlier post on May 19, 2011 4:44:41 PM PDT
T. D. Mills says:
What a beautiful story of God's love Patsy. Isn't is wonderful how God heals our broken hearts and makes up for all our sorrow. He is our perfect Father. Blessings sister.

In reply to an earlier post on May 19, 2011 4:52:44 PM PDT
T. D. Mills says:
Amen Patience, God bless you sister. Isn't it amazing how when we tell God please don't make me do something, that is exactly what He has us do! LOL! He does so to strengthen us and build our faith because our fears are nothing more than lack of faith and trust in Him. And look at how bold in your faith you have become. Praise God! :-)
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