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Customer Discussions > Classic Rock forum

What's the worst song in your collection?

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Showing 1-25 of 30 posts in this discussion
Initial post: Nov 26, 2011 3:15:19 PM PST
This is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, you get to poo-poo a song you don't like; but on the other hand, you have to admit that you actually own it too.

Stuff you bought and then traded in doesn't count.

Thanks to Spiritual Architect for the inspiration.

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 26, 2011 5:13:53 PM PST
Last edited by the author on Nov 26, 2011 5:39:09 PM PST
AlexMontrose says:
How 'bout the worst song within 10 miles of my collection? 'Born to Run'.
I don't actually have it in my collection though. Are you kidding me? But I gotta believe Born to Run is sitting there in either a Target or a BEST BUY...and just the thought of that makes it the worst song in the same city as me.

Posted on Nov 26, 2011 5:38:26 PM PST
Last edited by the author on Nov 26, 2011 5:47:18 PM PST
Randy says:
Maybe "Abracadabra" by Steve Miller Band.

Posted on Nov 26, 2011 6:11:34 PM PST
Not sure of any of the titles on it, but I'm betting it's something on the Donny Osmond disco album I own.

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 26, 2011 6:19:11 PM PST

For all you know, "Born to Run" is floating through some radio waves within the very walls of your house, waiting for you to tune in. Just because you're not listening to the radio doesn't mean the song isn't in your house. heh heh heh

Posted on Nov 26, 2011 6:25:41 PM PST
#1. My Ding-a-Ling by Chuck Berry (on the otherwise fantastic Anthology CD)
#2. Dancing in the Streets by David Bowie & Mick Jagger (on the otherwise pretty good Best of Bowie CD)
#3. Kokomo by The Beach Boys (on the otherwise magnificent 20 Good Vibrations CD which is really 19 Good Vibrations and one serious headache)

Posted on Nov 26, 2011 6:30:34 PM PST
@AlexMontrose: LOL no argument there

@DibbityDib: LOL at #3

Posted on Nov 26, 2011 6:53:02 PM PST
OK, I just thought of mine. "The Conspiraski Theory" by Stan Freberg.
This was a new track he included on his 90s box set, which compiled 4 CDs of great, genius stuff... and then this little piece of topical garbage. It was inspired by the observation that at one point, Monica Lewinsky, Tara Lipinski, and some other girl ending in -ski were all in the news, and the song was about his suspicions of a "conspiraski". Pretty lame idea to start with, but the song is even worse, a dumb Casio keyboard thing that took maybe 5 minutes to do. It's a shame - Freberg usually was right on the money with his satire.

Posted on Nov 26, 2011 8:12:22 PM PST
Aerosmith- Get A Grip
*Shoots foot*

Posted on Nov 27, 2011 9:13:04 AM PST
Antinomus says:
Probably "Take Me Down" by Smashing Pumpkins.
Billy Corgan at his most saccharine could not approach the awfulness of this tripe, courtesy of bandmate James Iha, which closes out disc 1 of "Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness."
How this song can coexist in the same jewel-case(or LP jacket, hard drive, etc) with songs like "The Arms of Sleep" boggles the mind.

Posted on Nov 27, 2011 9:20:50 AM PST
Binky Yutz says:
Good morning Goat, say "hello" to Mrs. Goat and Mini Goat for me.

The worst song in my collection is on one of the best sets of music I own: Super Hits of the 70's released by Rhino Records.
25 CD set that took me quite a while to acquire, since it was never sold as a boxed set. That song is:

Daddy, Don't You Walk So Fast by Wayne Newton

I can not fathom how any record executive said "Yeah, that's a great song, let's release that as a single." I want to break things when I hear it. Needless to say, it never gets played, and if it comes up on random, it gets skipped.

Posted on Nov 27, 2011 12:49:27 PM PST
@Antinomus: I don't see anything particularly offensive about "Take Me Down", it's a nice way to wind down after "Porcelina". I like most of Iha's contributions to the group, and I greatly miss his presence in the reformed lineup (most obviously his guitar presence, but his songs were an interesting counterpoint to Corgan's).

Posted on Nov 27, 2011 1:00:11 PM PST
There may be worse ones in my collection, but the first one that's coming to mind is "Girl, You'll Be a Woman Soon" on the 'Pulp Fiction' soundtrack. A Neil Diamond song that was also covered by Gary Puckett & the Union Gap. Hate it.

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 27, 2011 8:19:49 PM PST
Antinomus says:
RE: "I don't see anything particularly offensive about 'Take Me Down'"

Well, Topper, there's the lyrics...

"Take me down, to the underground
Won't you take me down, to the underground
Why oh why, there is no light
And if I can't sleep, can you hold my life
And all I see is you
Take my hand, I lost where I began
In my heart I know all my faults [if this were true, this song would have never been released]
Will you help me understand
And I believe in you
You're the other half of me
Soothe and heal...
When you sleep, when you dream, I'll be there if you need me,
whenever I hear you sing...
There is a sun, it'll come, the sun, I hear them call me down
I held you once, a lover that once, and life had just begun
And you're all I see...
And trumpets blew, and angels flew on the other side
And you're all I see, and you're all I'll need
There's a love that God puts in your heart"

I can tolerate some pretty banal stuff, and The Pumpkins have their share of lame lyrics, but this song is like a hellish mixture of Celine Dion and Good Charlotte, and there's just not enough to the song to redeem the vocal performance for me. I think side-two's closer, the similarly mellow "Farewell and Goodnight," is a much better example of how to wind things down.

Posted on Nov 27, 2011 10:33:59 PM PST
Last edited by the author on Nov 27, 2011 10:48:27 PM PST
@Antinomus: with those "hip" alt-rock bands of the 90s, you can never take anything at face value; there's usually several layers of emotional nuance you have to navigate in order to figure out what they're trying to say. "Take Me Down" is a perfect example. The lyrics, on their surface, are obviously sentimental mush that would have been at home in the 50s, not the nihilistically depressed alternative 90s. Clearly Iha knew this; he was the guitarist in a group which wrote songs like "Zero" and "Ode To No-One" to put on the same album. So, what is he doing here? Is he really that sappy? Hardly. So what is it? Is he sarcastically mocking that kind of over-the-top Hallmark sentiment? No, it's not quite that, either. In the gloomy 90s, it was fairly hip to write mocking parodies of more innocent times. It was hip and ironic and postmodern. But it was EVEN MORE hip and ironic and postmodern to perform such obviously outdated sentiments with a *completely, earnestly straight face*. It was a counter-counter reaction to cynical was still a form of parody, but a much subtler one that nodded a knowing wink to its antiquated sentiment while asserting that perhaps there really was something charming and innocent about it all.

This was also the reason why Corgan decided to do a perfectly straightforward cover of "My Blue Heaven" as one of the album's was the same principle. Also the airy-fairy cutesiness of "Cupid De Locke" (great track!), same principle. In case you might think I'm overanalyzing things here just to defend the song's merits, I once again point out that "Take Me Down" winds down a disc of songs that includes "Zero", "Bullet With Butterfly Wings" and "Ode To No-One". The Pumpkins could afford to create deliberately corny lyrics that they sang with a reactionary earnestness, and their fans would be able to understand these intentions because they'd just been bombarded with 90s alt-rock angst for the past hour before it. The sudden, radical swing from "intoxicated with the madness, I'm in love with my sadness" to the oh-so precious "and trumpets blew and angels flew" was also probably learned from The Beatles, who first advanced that kind of post-postmodernism by following "Revolution 9" with the half-parodic, half-earnest "Good Night" on The White Album. The bizarre juxtaposition of radically disparate musical attitudes, and the blurring of intentions between cynicism and earnestness in the same song, was something The Smashing Pumpkins excelled at during their peak. Now, Celine Dion would have probably performed "Take Me Down" without any nuance at all, but I never had any doubt from the moment I first heard it that The Pumpkins were doing something entirely different.

Posted on Nov 28, 2011 1:46:07 AM PST
Rob says:
Following my divorce I somehow wound up with a CD that belonged to my ex-wife (which is ironic because she got everything else !). "The Divas Live" featuring Mariah Carey, Gloria Estefan, Shania Twain, and Celine Dion. If I threw that CD in the trash, it would improve the quality of my CD collection.

Posted on Nov 28, 2011 4:13:15 AM PST
Last edited by the author on Nov 28, 2011 4:13:49 AM PST
I still have a 45 of The Rubinoos "I Think We're Alone Now". It was the first 45 I ever got when I was 4 years old. My mom was in a record store and was about to leave. I was crying and screaming because I wanted a record also. The man behind the counter handed me the 45 to shut me up. It turned out the record was a slightly defective record. (chipping on the edges) I was a happy 4 year old. But man I tried to listen to that 45 the other day....What a horrible record!

Posted on Nov 28, 2011 8:45:31 AM PST
Barry Smith says:
"Our House" Crosby Stills Nash & Young

Posted on Nov 28, 2011 8:54:59 AM PST
"Honey" by Bobby Goldsboro

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 28, 2011 11:29:21 AM PST
Antinomus says:
So how does one tell the difference between "a counter-counter reaction to cynical parody" and a song that just plain sucks? ;)
It seems like I could give a similar argument for the equally radical "My Heart Will Go On" and turn Mrs. Dion into an icon of rebellion.
The thing is, with the Beatles, there was usually some kind of subtle(or not so subtle) musical cue that indicated that they were in on the joke. I just don't find "Take Me Down" to be all that amusing. Kind of like Zappa's "The Closer You Are," which is neither a humorous parody of doo-wop, nor a surprisingly well-done tribute; it just sounds like a really lame, unoriginal song with nothing musically interesting to redeem it.

I am something of a musical masochist anyway, so I can at least say that songs that suck serve to make good songs seem all the sweeter. And it can be just as fun to analyze what makes a song bad as what makes a song good.

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 28, 2011 11:42:38 AM PST
Last edited by the author on Nov 28, 2011 11:43:06 AM PST

re: "a counter-counter reaction to cynical parody"

Definitely a "post-hip" concept if there ever was one....

I think "post-hip" is an ideal one should shoot for. Stay one step ahead of those hipsters.

Posted on Nov 28, 2011 12:57:19 PM PST
K. Cooper says:
I own all the Beatles albums including the White Album.
And Revolution 9 is on my White Album .
I also own Double Fantasy and half the songs on that are yoko's pianful screeches.

Posted on Nov 28, 2011 2:03:50 PM PST
Music Lover says:
Dibbity nailed it with #3-Kokomo. I have a great Beach Boys antholody but that 4 minute pile of steaming dogcrap is on the CD. it's banished from my Ipod though but I still have the CD. like K.Cooper-Revolution #9 is a close 2nd

some other bad nominees:
1. 99% of the Aerosmith-Nine Lives-bought it, gave it two tries-realized I liked one song-Something's Gotta Give-but hated the rest of the record. was too lazy to return it so there it sits in my collection.
2. Burger Man-ZZ top-bought Recycler because I buy all ZZ records. I like a few tracks on it-My Head's In Mississippi,etc but Burger Man and Doubleback are extremely lame
3. Boogie Fever-Sylvers/Saturday Night-Bay City Rollers-I bought a best of collection 20 pop hits from 75-79 for one hit stuff I enjoy like-Still The One-Orleans, Oh Girl-Chi Lites, Play That Funky Music-Wild Cherry, the Welcome Back Kotter song from John Sebastian but with the good comes the bad.

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 28, 2011 8:49:36 PM PST
@Antinomus: well, if a song sounds bad to you, it just sounds bad, I suppose. Although, to better answer your opening question, it helps when you look at the context within which the song in question was placed. Celine Dion deals in schlock all the time, so "My Heart Will Go On" was not unusual for her and can pretty much be taken at face value. "Take Me Down", as I noted, comes after an entire hour's worth of alt-rock angst, so I take it completely differently. You mentioned The Beatles using musical "cues" to let you know they were in on the joke. The Pumpkins did the same simply by the context of everything else they put on that album; any more of a clue would simply spoil the point. The song was not meant to sound cynical, but was not meant to be taken at face value, either...but that's just what my ears hear.

@RareGoat: he he. I think that's what the band were doing. Trying to stay a step ahead. If the hipsters were going to be cynical and parodic, the Pumpkins were going to be earnest and almost child-like (but only after bombarding the listener with wrenching emotional pain first).

Posted on Nov 29, 2011 10:24:44 AM PST
Savage Lucy says:
Every No Doubt song. I was going through old CDs the other day, expecting to enjoy them as I did when I was 14. Not the case. Tried both Tragic Kingdom and Return to Saturn. (Both of which are still in my car, actually.) What tremendous piles of crap. Kinda makes me sad because I remember thinking Tragic Kingdom was brilliant. Awful though.
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Discussion in:  Classic Rock forum
Participants:  21
Total posts:  30
Initial post:  Nov 26, 2011
Latest post:  Nov 14, 2012

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