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Customer Discussions > Fashion forum

What looks sexy on a 40 year old women?

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Showing 1-25 of 198 posts in this discussion
Initial post: Apr 16, 2010 5:27:37 PM PDT
westshop says:
I like going out with my friends but have such a hard time finding some to wear. The things I find at the stores looks like something an 18 year old would wear or it looks like something you go to work in. I don't think I look bad for my age and still feel the same as I did when I was in my 20's, I just have a real job and family now. So is it wrong that I want to show a little skin by wearing a short skirt or low cut shirt? Why do people say 40 is old, I just don't get it.

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 17, 2010 11:13:39 AM PDT
Lynn says:
How can we enjoy anything if every thing is covered up . Whats wrong with 40.

Posted on Apr 19, 2010 7:54:47 AM PDT
M. Bradley says:
I think that while there's nothing wrong with being forty or better, we also have to respect our maturity. Clothes for the 18-25 year-olds are not for us . . . but that doesn't mean that we automatically have to bundle up like old-fashioned nuns, either. I think that if you pick one feature to accentuate, and are more conservative otherwise, you can look sexy and age-appropriate and yet, not like you're "trying too hard", you know? I like to show off my cleavage, but I don't wear my tops quite as skimpy any more-- they have sleeves, or a jacket, and aren't as tight or as sheer as they were when I was 25. I wear dark jeans or a long denim skirt, also not too tight, and I lighten up on the jewelry and the makeup. I have especially gotten away from dark lipstick, which I used to love and yet looks so aging in photos. I'll be 41 in June and I feel pretty darned good! It's just a matter of striking the right balance between feeling young and respecting your own maturity.

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 19, 2010 11:27:53 AM PDT
westshop says:
Thanks these tips help a lot.
There's nothing wrong with 40, it's a great age to be.

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 20, 2010 7:14:42 PM PDT
M. Kline says:
Oh bull^(&% its only other Women your age who whisper anyhow, the younger girls will always compliment you. I myself have never "fit"into womens clothing so i have to shop in the juniors dept. now im not talking about loud stuff or mini stuff, mostly just jeans and tops and i still hear the comments and just ignore them. Women should leave other women alone about their hair and clothes and such its really petty! you should wear whatever your comfortable in and what fits you! and dress for whom your trying to impress(mostly yourself)

Posted on Apr 22, 2010 3:50:31 AM PDT
S. Kumar says:
[Customers don't think this post adds to the discussion. Show post anyway. Show all unhelpful posts.]

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 22, 2010 5:36:42 AM PDT
Rae York says:
Forty can be a bit jarring (I turned this year). Remember the alternative is dying at 39 or younger.

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 23, 2010 9:49:18 AM PDT
Lynn says:
I'll stick with the jarring.

Posted on Apr 23, 2010 11:21:40 AM PDT
try a higher heel shoes 2 inch or so, with jeans a tunic and jewelry appropriate...40's are awesome!

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 24, 2010 2:54:58 AM PDT
[Deleted by the author on Apr 24, 2010 2:55:36 AM PDT]

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 24, 2010 4:54:00 AM PDT
Unless you spend the year in a coma!

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 24, 2010 9:54:01 AM PDT
Lynn says:
Along with the jewelry , shoes, etc., The foundational equipment needs to be attended to to keep you looking great even at 70 which is years away, but you can tell the ones who took care of these items and those who didn't. A few minor exercises done each day will contribute much. Don't worry about 40, go for sex appeal at 100 and you will enjoy life more.

Posted on Apr 24, 2010 5:32:31 PM PDT
B. Kaufman says:
Most women find that their legs have survived best after forty, so if possible, emphasize your most attractive feature(s).

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 25, 2010 5:44:24 AM PDT
I don't think so. I am in the same boat. I actually stopped going out with friends when my daughter was born (12 years ago) because I needed to focus on being mom. But as I approach 40 I am realizing, I am still me and I do not fit the froppy mom image... at least I am not willing to anymore.

I think it perfectly ago for you to show a little skin when you go out. Are you being obscene? Or are you being the sexy, confident woman that you are?

Enjoy your life! You only have one shot. Good luck!

Posted on Apr 25, 2010 7:54:23 AM PDT
Lisa Satko says:
I think CONFIDENCE is sexy - so you don't have to show everything you got! Instead of putting every sexy layer on - the low cut shirt - the tightest jeans - the smokey eyes - the hoopy earrings and the 4 inch stilettos - pick one area to put on display! If you put everything you got on display, then you are no longer giving off that "sexy and I know it" vibe - you are sending out an "I'm trying to be something I'm not" vibe instead!

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 25, 2010 3:45:30 PM PDT
Very, very true!

Posted on Apr 25, 2010 8:38:15 PM PDT
System1459 says:
I am young enough to be one of your childrens friends and i think 40's are great. Less BS then the girls my age or at least better at handling it. Also alot are Very attractive. Wear what ever you like, pick something about yourself thats one of your ...ASSets and show it off a bit. Sweaters are always nice and snug but dont show off to much cleavage If i may be so bold "LONG LIVE THE MILF" (sorry for the profane accronym)

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 26, 2010 1:04:52 AM PDT
Because they're stupid. Men don't understand that most women get better with age...You're just hitting your sexual peak. Enjoy it! Think leather corsets or even better yet, silk. A pair of dark wash jeans and a pair of 3" heeled booties and you're ready for a night out with your husband. Nothing screams sex like a motorcycle. Go get your license and find a bike to ride. Your husband can sit on the back. He'll be panting to rip your clothes off when you get home... Good luck!

Posted on Apr 26, 2010 8:12:59 AM PDT
Anything she thinks is sexy is sexy. If you have to have a man tell you that you look sexy, then you are dressing to please him and not yourself. The relationship is already off balance.

Posted on Apr 26, 2010 1:18:37 PM PDT
Mikala says:
I am 39 and have no intention of changing my style. I have my own style which is mainly skinny and distressed jeans and trendy boots or shoes and casual tops. It is poss a bit young but I dont want to be frumpy just cos I am nearly 40. I dont feel any different to what I did 20 yrs ago. I intend to dress in my own preferred style until I decide not to, not because I think I am too old for it or society does. Dont follow trends wear what suits you and what you like. My friends mother in law is over 60 and wears DKNY but her style keeps it plain and she looks great !!

Posted on Apr 28, 2010 6:42:27 AM PDT
syb123 says:
I think a crucial difference between 20 and 40 is that by 40 you've had the chance to learn something about subtlety and having a bit of mystery (apologies to all the incredibly mature and subtle twenty-year-olds on this forum). To so many girls, sexy seems to mean showing so much cleavage that even I am distracted by it, or skirts so short that they're constantly having to tug it down. When it's such an over the top display I think it loses some of its allure. By 40 a woman has lived enough to know that flattering clothes, a hint of skin, and that "you'd never guess what I'm thinking" look on your face are the sexiest getup ever.

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 28, 2010 12:19:53 PM PDT
40 Old!!!??? What a rediculous idea! I'm 65 and I'm not old, just very experienced and happily married to the same great guy for 46 yrs.. However, what I realy wanted to tell you was that my 45 yr. old daughter is dating a 26 yr. old Navy Seal. The number of years do not matter, it's how you take care of yourself - meaning exercise, eating right and really enjoying life. If you don't love yourself no amount of makeup or sexy clothing will make you appealing. So, embrace that feeling you have of still being 20, wear something sexy as long as you are comfortable in it (and so is your husband) and enjoy your life and everyone in it.

Posted on Apr 28, 2010 9:11:59 PM PDT
I found this on the internet and I usually follow these general guidlines. They work for me, hope they help :)


*Forty-somethings: Choose a style that accentuates the best parts of your body. Avoid showing too much flesh. If you are wearing a low-neck dress, then go for a knee-length or longer. If you are wearing a mini, then cover up on top. The secret to wearing twenty-something fashions is to make your outfit classy. If you are curvy then wrap-over styles suit most figures, but particularly those with womanly curves. Hide a wide waist and big hips by choosing a style that hangs loosely rather than clings. Avoid this season's ruffles and bows in abundance and go for something more discreet.


*Forty-somethings: This season's high-waisted jeans look great on forty-somethings and as an added bonus, the higher waistline holds everything in. Avoid low-waisted jeans and the dreaded "muffin top." An indigo shade is more slimming and is more versatile if you want your jeans to work with other pieces in your wardrobe. Current wide-leg styles are also classy and flattering, provided they fit well at the waist and hips.

Coats and Jackets

*Forty-somethings: Choose rich fabrics in blacks, grays and neutrals. Go for classic lines in a jacket, which can be worn open, with a chunky necklace. Avoid double-breasted jackets if you have a big bust, and choose a style that is fitted. However, a short-cropped bolero or caped-style is an elegant way to cover up flabby arms. When we get older it is time to consider shopping smarter, often investing in less but more, when it comes to quantity versus quality. It is also about knowing which necklines, sleeve-lengths and hemlines do you justice, without seeming to appear either tarty and brassy or lumpy and frumpy.

Read more at Suite101: How to Dress Well For Your Age: Fashion Style Tips on Looking Great in Your 20s, 30s and 40s

Posted on Apr 29, 2010 10:11:00 AM PDT
Last edited by the author on Apr 29, 2010 10:14:29 AM PDT
C. Sprecaci says:
Ask any (decent) man what they find sexy on a 40-year-old woman and they will tell you it's something CLASSY. I'm sorry, but short skirts are not in this category - when I see a woman my age (42) wearing something very short like that or something that's too revealing in front, it screams to me that she is insecure with her age and attempting to recapture her youth.

My personal style is casual chic. I think this look - matching casual items with a few elegant items - conveys a look that shouts confidence and class and a woman who is very comfortable with herself. My favorite outfit is a pair of tapered jeans, a beautiful sleeveless top paired with a short waist-tie jacket, small heels (1-2") and always a nice double-strap handbag. I get lots of compliments on this style.

Posted on Apr 29, 2010 6:11:16 PM PDT
Heh heh. I just turned 40 a few months ago. I think the best thing for the older woman is to get in top shape. Nothing is hotter than a trim older woman with some muscle. If you're in shape, you can get away with way more styles than you would otherwise. It's totally worth every drop of sweat, and no one will think you are the age you are. Also, a smile goes a long way. I see so many over 40 ladies trying way too hard, including putting on the super-model pout. Forget it. Smile! It takes years off your face and spirit. As far as clothing, go sophisticated. Take one aspect of your beauty and emphasize it. Don't go putting on the stilletos AND the tight pants AND the cleavage shirt AND the 5 lbs. of makeup. Oh, and don't earned this age, so act like it. Be proud. Confidence at this age is most certainly earned, and it was well fought for. That kind of confidence is sexy. You are not 23, and that is a good thing.
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Discussion in:  Fashion forum
Participants:  136
Total posts:  198
Initial post:  Apr 16, 2010
Latest post:  Oct 4, 2011

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