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Creative Writing Challenge: Create a silly opening sentence

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Showing 101-125 of 245 posts in this discussion
In reply to an earlier post on Apr 29, 2012 9:33:36 AM PDT
Oldog_Oltrix says:
@Ku --

You have me once again marveling at your clever wit !!!

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 29, 2012 9:37:40 AM PDT
Oldog_Oltrix says:
@Ness a --

Poor Ashcroft, can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.
Like a lot of guys I know, he seems to carry his brain in his pants.

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 29, 2012 9:46:38 AM PDT
Ku says:

Thanks a bunch, O2.

Posted on Apr 29, 2012 9:53:18 AM PDT
Last edited by the author on Apr 29, 2012 2:49:00 PM PDT
Seeing his life flash before him, Mister Peanut realized visiting the zoo's elephant exhibition with the wife and kids, was an idea not properly thought out!

Posted on Apr 29, 2012 11:01:30 AM PDT
"And that's the deal, little ones ... I've had a huge epiphany, I'm done with all my evildoings, and from now on you will be free of my tyranny" she said, not noticing the Kansas farmhouse descending from the sky.

Posted on Apr 29, 2012 11:27:14 AM PDT
Oldog_Oltrix says:
Herbert Wisniewski, a proud auto industry skilled tradesman, an expert screw-machine operator, fathered fourteen children of whom I was the youngest.

Posted on Apr 29, 2012 11:29:04 AM PDT
Oldog_Oltrix says:
We were always hungry; there was always enough to eat, but times were hard.

Posted on Apr 29, 2012 11:37:29 AM PDT
Oldog_Oltrix says:
Times were hard, and hand-me-down clothing was all a fellow could expect; I had to fight my way through every fifth grade recess after Ma made me trousers re-using the fabric from MarthaJean's floral nightgowns.

Posted on Apr 29, 2012 11:41:16 AM PDT
Oldog_Oltrix says:
Daddy wanted in the worst way for us to have middle names, but Ma just shook her head and said, "Times are hard, Herb, times are hard."

Posted on Apr 29, 2012 11:41:21 AM PDT
That evening, Bruce Wayne soaked in the opulent tub and thought about several things: what The Joker's latest diabolical scheme might be, how much he might donate to The Gotham City Hospital this year, and why people never questioned his having a strapping teenage boy living with him.

Posted on Apr 29, 2012 11:48:25 AM PDT
Water was seen leaking from the entrance of a luxury hotel suite, staff broke in but too late, world renown survivalist Bear Grylls had drowned in his bathtub.

Posted on Apr 29, 2012 2:46:14 PM PDT
Another negative home pregnancy test dashed the hopes of Billy-Bob and Rosie.  In an awkward attempt at consoling them, the socially inept Billy-Ray remarked that their continued failure to reproduce was no doubt all part of God's plan.

Posted on Apr 29, 2012 2:49:43 PM PDT
Ku says:
She threw back her head and with a throaty laugh exclaimed 'you disappoint me, Dick Dangle'.

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 29, 2012 3:24:57 PM PDT
Hahahaha! Good one Ku.

Posted on Apr 29, 2012 4:38:18 PM PDT
Chester chuckled upon ending another night of siphoning neighbors gas tanks, his five-gallon can had been filled repeatedly,  now his tank sat on full.  But his soaked clothing stank to high heaven from the many spills so he decided to shower, but first... a cigarette.

Posted on Apr 29, 2012 5:38:41 PM PDT
Using his third arm Harcluk pointed out a shining blue planet in the distance.  "That one's pretty, which is it?". "That's the designated asylum for this quadrant, some time ago it was overrun by naked psychotic apes making it the only planet in the universe we're forbidden to contact."

Posted on Apr 29, 2012 7:26:54 PM PDT
Last edited by the author on Apr 29, 2012 7:52:05 PM PDT
Diana Wilder says:
I rattled the bathroom doorknob and, swearing at its sticking when I was in truly dire straits, kicked the door in, tore to the toilet, ripping off my jeans, sat with a shuddering sigh of relief and then, looking toward the bathtub and seeing Garth's startled stare above the bubbles, grinned and said weakly, "So... How's every little thing?"

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 29, 2012 7:36:56 PM PDT
Last edited by the author on Apr 29, 2012 7:37:16 PM PDT
Nicely done Diana. I lived for years with my parents and two younger brothers all dependent on one bathroom, one sympathizes!

Posted on Apr 29, 2012 7:38:39 PM PDT
Laying in Yuma Medical Center the life long atheist ,very close to the end now, smiled as Father Murphy again implored him to repent.  "I'm not afraid of he!! Father, after all, I live in Arizona, how much hotter could it be?" 

Posted on Apr 30, 2012 1:35:31 PM PDT
Louise says:
She laughed out loud and smiled, how she was enjoying reading Baron and Dan DeJarnette's posts!!

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 30, 2012 1:45:37 PM PDT
Thank you Cariad, but I'm only the Baron's wingman!

Posted on Apr 30, 2012 1:52:13 PM PDT
Last edited by the author on Apr 30, 2012 1:53:26 PM PDT
I knew I'd seen him somewhere but I couldn't make the connection, an actor I think.  But I decided the very next time he yelled out 'winning' I just might break his jaw.

Posted on Apr 30, 2012 3:48:40 PM PDT
Seniors really do need to get out more, in church yesterday I happened to mention how much I liked to google myself and I got all these dirty looks from half the congregation!

Posted on Apr 30, 2012 6:06:07 PM PDT
"This is how it all ends", he said, "after everything I've gone through-- kidnapping Cousin Enid's beloved chimp Fifi, pretending to be a woman to marry that Senator Flurmen for his money, getting caught by a policeman at Lovers Ravine with a wedding cake in the car.... but now the most disgraceful thing of all: to be saddled with a jail cellmate who says 'supposably'!"

Posted on May 1, 2012 3:38:28 PM PDT
Last edited by the author on May 2, 2012 9:07:32 AM PDT
Morpheus:  "You take the blue pill, the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to. You take the red pill, you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes!"

Neo:  "Yeah well you see I'm kinda on probation at work, have you got maybe a purple pill that would let me hang out here on my days off?"
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Discussion in:  Fiction forum
Participants:  51
Total posts:  245
Initial post:  Apr 25, 2012
Latest post:  May 24, 2013

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