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Is Spanking a loving or harmful form of discipline? Part II

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In reply to an earlier post on Feb 20, 2012 12:35:58 PM PST
ace™ says:
no worries, E.L.! amazon is deleting ALL of them.... and she has posted MANY so far.

if we're lucky, it may get her booted from amazon... one can only hope.

Posted on Apr 26, 2012 8:05:40 AM PDT
How to parent?
One of the popular topics on the internet today is articles and questions about raising and disciplining children. Many people out there are using the information age and reach out and seek the information about this subject.

There are millions of the broken families and single parents (mostly mothers), that brought children to this world without planning and are struggling with many questions regarding proper child caring and disciplining.

I want to share with you with some wealth of the information that I have about children upbringing. There are no shortcuts here. You have brought a very sophisticated and complex creature to this world and it needs a proper caring and attention, to grow up a happy, positive, respectful adult.

About my childhood
I come from Jewish conservative family that follows the rules of the bible, including the rules of the proper child upbringing. They number in thousands. They believe that children can be brought to this world only within a frame of a marriage, when the couple is ready, mentally and financially. The information about raising and disciplining children properly is passed down from generation to generation from father and mother. My parents didn't need to read any book or other information. They knew exactly what they needed to do to bring up happy, respectful and successful children.

I have 3 other brothers (I'm a second oldest). We love each other and we are all close friends. We are all productive and successful citizens. I talk to them and spend time with them very often and I'm a second father to their children. In the event of the need, we are always there for each other, without a question and wavering. We grew up with utmost respect to our parents. So much so that I wouldn't dare to raise my voice at them, regardless to my age, and they were my mentors until the day that they died.
All four of us are happy and confident leaders with very strong morals and values. My parents accomplished all that without any spanking at all.

The decision to have a child
The decision to have a child supposed to be one of the most important decisions of our life; however it is not the case with large number of people today.

You would think that with the advancement of the world socially and technologically, in the last 40 years, the general population would be more intelligent and thoughtful and would carefully plan this important decision. However the mass immigration from the third world countries has brought a large percentage of population that are anything but advanced, when it comes to family planning and children.

The immigrants from the third world countries have embrace the modern aspects of this corrupted world, where money and fame is a God. The result is that people go out and have large number of sexual partners without any care and planning. It is amazing that the contraceptives are readily available, at a very reasonable price; however large percentages of people don't use them.

About parents
If you are married, you are ahead of the game; however most of the information still applies to you.

The first thing that you need to do as a parent is to look inside your soul and ask yourself a question: "Do I have a good discipline?" This is the most important question here, because if you don't have a discipline yourself, how in the world would you teach it to the child?

At this point I would assume the fact that if you are a single mother, most of you are not disciplined and are living some kind of messy disorganized life. Why did I come to this conclusion? Because of the fact that you have brought a child to this world without planning and preparedness and you weren't able to find a suitable partner in life (that takes a certain skill and personality).

The second question that you need to ASK YOURSELF is: "Do I have a good family life?" Because if you don't, how can you teach it to your children? If you don't have good relationships with your family members and are not close to them, your children will turn out to be a bad duplicate of you.

Regardless of your possible shortcomings in the above departments, you have an opportunity to rise up to the occasion and become a better person for yourself and your children, thus make your future brighter than the one that you had yourself.

How to discipline children
Here are the most important tips that you will need for raising and disciplining children. If you follow those rules from the baby to thirteen years old, you will raise a respectful and good child. You will never need to spank them because they will listen to you and respect your word.

* It is the most important for a child to have a mother figure and father figure. Keep on looking for a good partner and learn from your mistakes. The child needs to see good relationships, in order to learn what is right and what is wrong. It is not important if you have male or female baby/s. They need a MALE role model and FEMALE role model to complete their mental development.

* The first thing that the child needs is love and attention. You need to be positive and loving without being too overbearing and spoiling.

* You need to have discipline yourself and you have to make firm rules at the house regarding everything from eating, playing and sleeping times and follow them strictly. Be fair but strict from very early age. This will prevent discipline problems later on!

* A child is NOT your friend. You are a God, a mentor, a leader and a judge to the child. Do not tolerate bad behavior from the toddler age and discipline, when necessary, by time outs, taking away their favorite toy for a while and other similar means, otherwise a child will lose respect for you.

* Whatever you do it, do not allow watching adult TV programming until the age of 13. TV is an absolute poison to the kids, teaching them murder, materialism, selfishness, cruelty, dishonesty, indecency and on and on. You must do that because you owe it to your child for both of your future. Get some kind of the recorder for your shows and watch them when kid/s are sleeping or not at home.

* Instill organization and routine early on. Have them help you around the house to teach them the chores and value of a labor. If you teach them early on, they'll love doing it.

* Treat boys differently than girls. Don't be too soft with boys and don't let them do feminine things, because they are born to be tougher, and unless you foster this fact, they'll grow up soft, weak and emotional with gender identity problems (that is why male role model is so important). For the girls, teach them to be tidy around the house and kitchen. One day they'll be mothers themselves.

* Encourage creativity at all times and find out what their talents are, so you can guide them to the right career path, later on in life.

* When you want to teach them something, teach them by an example. If you are doing it, they will copy you. Hopefully it will be good habits!

* Show them your family life, so they are close to your family. It is very important for their proper adjustment. Without witnessing a good family life, they won't be able to have one.

* Spend quality time with them every day and don't live them with different people, especially strangers.

* Always be honest with them and ask the same from them. If you don't teach them honesty and trust, they won't be able to create their own relationships.

* Remember that they will become a bad or a good copy of you. If you are untidy and messy, materialistic, etc., they will grow up to be the same, so rise up to the occasion and make changes, for better, in your life for the sake of yourself and your child/children.

* You are a God to the child and responsible to shape his/her personality. Be a leader and don't be soft! Don't tolerate sibling rivalry and be a judge when you need to. Teach them to love and respect each other. If they won't get along with their sibling, I doubt if they ever will get along with anyone else.

If you follow the above rules, you will raise a happy and respectful child that will make you proud. Your own future depends on it, because we all know what a bad child can do to our lives.
The child will respect you and listen to you. You will have a loyal friend for life.

D Zephaniah

The Study of Love, Happiness and Relationships

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 26, 2012 9:09:31 AM PDT
W. Van Fleet says:
Although I agree with much of what you say, I do have some differences of opinion. You can see my presentation of "Rational-Ethical Child Rearing" at or Your approach would be what I call the authoritarian-ethical model of child rearing, which sometimes works well, sometimes works poorly, and sometimes makes the news media. But I am in agreement that the creation of a human adult out of an infant is an extremely complex process, and I believe there will come a time when it will be unheard of to attempt to do so without intensive training and certification. That time will be in the far, far future, and just the verbalization of such an idea now produces much anger. In fact, you will probably encounter a fair amount of hostility on this thread, which is characteristic here.

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 26, 2012 12:51:47 PM PDT
I have thousands of family members, and the system works all the time. On the other hand, I see many people that didn't grow up with this system and the results are unhappy, materialistic people that struggle to have meaningful relationships. No psychologist will write a better system ever, because whoever made us is way advanced than we'll ever be. Howeve this is my opinion, you can take it or leave it.

Posted on Apr 26, 2012 1:08:57 PM PDT
W. Van Fleet says:
Well, you have vastly more experience than I and a vastly greater success rate than I.

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 26, 2012 5:52:22 PM PDT
[Deleted by Amazon on Apr 26, 2012 6:57:50 PM PDT]

Posted on Jul 14, 2012 8:04:37 AM PDT
W. Van Fleet says:
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Discussion in:  Health forum
Participants:  402
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Initial post:  Apr 4, 2010
Latest post:  Jul 14, 2012

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