I read a book a few years ago by a woman with BPD called "Get Me Out Of Here: My Recovery From Borderline Personality Disorder" by Rachel Reiland. I don't recall every detail but your mother might relate to her as a fellow sufferer and feel inspired by the author's hard-won improvement.
There are also some guidebooks available to help people with BPD regulate their moods and manage their lives better, but I've never read one. You might want to check one out from the library or look through one at a bookstore to help you decide whether or not it would help your mother.
There are several books which describe the problem and its manifestations. They might seem too harsh for your mother to read for herself but they could help you and your family. I read one called "I Hate You, Don't Leave Me" many years ago. It was short and to the point but the information could be outdated by now--again, you should check out your library and bookstore.
I attended group therapy ten years ago (I do not have BPD, I have a mood disorder) and most of the people in the group who had personality disorders took part in something called Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). It was developed by an author and former sufferer named Marsha Linehan. I don't know much about it except that it was meant to help people learn how to handle distress and regulate their moods in non-destructive ways.
You might want to read Linehan's books and learn about DBT--it probably requires more insight and self-awareness than your mother has right now but it could be an option in the future.
As a first step, I think you should buy Reiland's book. You might want to read it yourself first to make sure it seems suitable.
Good luck with your mother. Good luck to her as well.
PS: Try to get your mother to see an internist for a physical exam and some blood tests--she could have a hormonal imbalance or another physical problem which is causing psychiatric symptoms. You need to rule it out.
If she is physically healthy, try to convince her to see a psychiatrist for an evaluation. That suggestion may not go over very smoothly, but she needs to be evaluated and properly diagnosed.
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