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Is there a way to release anger you have from being molested?


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Posted on Apr 17, 2012 7:33:42 PM PDT
Ze'ev says:
hmm

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 18, 2012 10:13:31 PM PDT
Pinopan says:
I think facing the trials we have endured - such as, being victimized - is a process that is incompatible with just letting go. Maybe you meant something other than a 'get over it' message, but for me the pressure to act like it never happened only prevents victims from going through the grieving process, and it gets dangerously close to victim blaming.

Posted on Apr 19, 2012 3:36:10 AM PDT
Cat says:
Pinopan, my message is certainly not 'get over it.'. My message is 'you can get over it.'.

I am through my process and still today, if I dwell on it, it is painful to think about. For me it's been 41 years. You and I are in different places on the road to recovery. That does not mean I judge you for not being where I am in this process. That means it hurts me to know that you feel the deep raging pain you do now and I wanted to reach out and assure you that you can feel better - when you are ready.

Being ready is a personal process. There is no set time for it. I do not know where you are in the process of recovery. For me, it took about 12 years to get to a place in my mind where I could start feeling better. Anger was a problem for me, but the shame I felt was a deeper, more self esteem eating problem. I ultimately had to work through these feelings so I could become a better me.

But I am not you and I could not judge your pain even if I knew what you have endured. If I knew you, I would support your right to rage as long as you need to, grieve as long as you need to and tell you every day that the rat bastard who hurt you deserves punishment and you do not owe anything to this person.

The only love I would want you to feel is for yourself.

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 19, 2012 3:50:59 AM PDT
Robin says:
Yes, it could. Fear is powerful, and has to be faced little by little. Make yourself be with other people, one or two at a time -safe, nice people. Until you truly forgive this criminal, you will never be free of his influence. God will repay. He will give you the peace you crave if you seek Him.

Posted on Apr 23, 2012 10:44:06 AM PDT
Mystical1022 says:
Thank you all for your advice. I am going to have my niece seek therapy

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 23, 2012 7:06:49 PM PDT
Last edited by the author on Apr 23, 2012 7:07:25 PM PDT
I agree! I got mine 17 years later and it was bittersweet!:)

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 23, 2012 7:08:30 PM PDT
I disagree. She does not have to forgive anything. The whole forgiveness thing is a crock o crap. Never gonna happen!

Posted on Apr 24, 2012 8:06:24 AM PDT
Regina Smith says:
Unfortunetly you will never forget but they say time heals all wounds enjoy traveling get a healthy something and dive ibto it look for a cure for something heal and help others releases bitterness love in the end concours all we will never forget horrific pain saddness scaredness but live and whole heartedly live enjoy hobbies tome does ease memories block memortirs at times we remember great saddness comes over us but we get thru it prayer thoughts of contemplative spiritual prayer can help alot and time but live a full happy life no that your great because you would not hurt a gly and your sacrifices will get you into heaven god cant stop mans free will but will judge him in the end and that is your peace

Posted on Apr 25, 2012 5:59:15 PM PDT
It is sad and down right horrible for anybody (mainly children) to go through things like that. Realizing that you were being molested is a great step. Many people lack the understanding and therfore go on to commit the abuse (molesting) someone else and then there it begins a snowball effect. The next best thing to do for yourself is forgive yourself. Don't put blame upon yourself. It only will make you feel worst. Its not a bad thing to isolate yourself but it does feel nice to have friends. If you have alot of anger about it you should use it in a good way by being active about issues like that. Or if you want to take little steps do martial arts. Really you should be proud of the fact that you faced the problem and now are finding a solution for yourself. I know this because I have volunteer work with people about this. Just start with little steps then before you know it , it will just be the little chaos that brought clarity into a new you. I hope the best for you, my friend.

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 25, 2012 6:49:16 PM PDT
Sitikid says:
i agree completely, this is not the road to travel alone. call your local rape crisis center maybe they can offer some guidance. reading, praying, being angry, etc. works for some - it isn't working for you, get help. there's nothing wrong with you being angry and confused, you'll work it out with help. good luck.

Posted on Apr 25, 2012 7:11:57 PM PDT
Moderate1 says:
Talk to a therapist. I had a similar experience and have talked to a therapist and told a couple of close friends. I'm 30 so my friends arent lil kids or teens that would tweet it to everyone. But at least tell a therapist. How old were you when it happened and how old are you now? Are you male or female? I was about 11-12 he was about 5 yrs older than me and I'm a man. Now I'm 29... Good luck. Xx

Posted on Apr 25, 2012 11:39:12 PM PDT
Matt Sidwell says:
Come to acceptance of what happened. realize it was not your fault. Let go of all the fear and shame of the event. None of what may have happened defines you as a person whatsoever. And ultimately forgive yourself and the person. Anger fear and rage we hold for others can manifest into our daily lives unknowingly in all types of ways. 90% of all addicts, alcoholics and other people who commit slow suicide were once abused as children. Unfortunately most people harbor these toxic life events until it's too late. Just telling your story has massive theraputic results. Remember. You are far more powerful than all of the events that have transpired in your life put together. They are all ancient history and you are still here

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 26, 2012 6:40:51 PM PDT
Georgedc says:
The best way is to take revenge or demand justice on the perp!

Put him through the criminal courts!

Posted on Apr 27, 2012 8:35:35 PM PDT
Joe Jewell says:
Kill the person that did it or at least kick the crap out of him all the time and maybe he'll kill himself.
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Discussion in:  Health forum
Participants:  44
Total posts:  64
Initial post:  Apr 9, 2012
Latest post:  Apr 27, 2012

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