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Customer Discussions > Health forum

Do you think bears are mammals?

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Showing 1-25 of 690 posts in this discussion
Initial post: Sep 10, 2009 10:35:50 AM PDT
Last edited by the author on Sep 10, 2009 10:37:30 AM PDT
So bros and broettes, I've been really digging this health forum. Why? Because well here's the deal. I've always just been your average Joe -- or your average Kyle lol -- and never really had time for things like research and critical thinking as the kids are calling it.

But here on the health forum it's like, whoa, dude. You can be an expert with absolutely no credentials! All you need to be an expert on the health forums is one, a few, or all of the following:

a) strong feelings!

b) the ability to click Ctrl + C, or in my case since I'm young and groovy, Apple + C

3) unabashed willingness to verbally abuse posters who disagree with you

4) lack of any sense of humor whatsoever

5) utter lack of self awareness

6) strong feelings (counts as two, because every good debate hinges on them)

Ergo, meet me. My name is Kyle and today I would like to ask you a seemingly innocuous question:

"Are bears mammals?"

Think hard before you answer -- or you may just be the next victim of my scorn lol! (I'm really a nice guy lol but only if you agree with me lol)

Btw the correct answer is NO. Bears are NOT mammals.


Posted on Sep 10, 2009 10:40:49 AM PDT
Last edited by the author on Sep 10, 2009 10:43:35 AM PDT
bothellbuyer says:
That's a silly question. They are members of the Order Carnivora, in the family Ursidae and are obviously, and without question....mammals. A more pertinent question, and one argued for years by mammalogists, is whether the panda is a bear or a raccoon relative. You can scorn all you want. It'll wash right over me....taught Mammalogy for 3 quarters in graduate school.

You may also want to consider asking this question in the Science forum as this question really has nothing at all to do with Health (shrug).

In reply to an earlier post on Sep 10, 2009 10:50:00 AM PDT
The problem with your answer bothellbuyer, is that you don't agree with me. I feel VERY VERY strongly on the subject of bears. That's cute that you went to school to learn facts about things, but they are nothing in light of my strong feelings on the subject.

And the people in the science forum don't want me. Something to do with my "insufferable personality" and "verbal beratement of the posters." That sort of thing is welcomed on the Health forums. You don't need no stinking facts here! Just feelings!

And you MIGHT NOT SAY THAT bears have nothing to do with Health if you'd ever been attacked by a bear. Sounds like maybe you were victim of a bear attack and are in denial.

Posted on Sep 10, 2009 11:00:10 AM PDT
OK, Kyle--I personally have incredibly strong feelings on the topic of bears. I, for one, don't think that they exist at all. Especially polar bears. I've never seen one, except at the zoo, and it was so far away I couldn't be sure it wasn't just a fat and somewhat deformed Kodiak bear with some kind of treatment to make its hair white. I think polar bears are an entire fiction created by the global-warming people to try and play on the sympathies of do-gooders and get them all excited about the supposed consequences of climate change. Not that Kodiak bears exist either, you understand, but at least they aren't something the climatologists made up. Sorry, gotta run now. Rush Limbaugh is coming on in a minute and I have to tune in so I can get my opinions refreshed for today. Buh-bye.

In reply to an earlier post on Sep 10, 2009 11:04:42 AM PDT
Bro, thank you for your thoughtful take on this sensitive subject of bears. Personally I think you may be right. For one thing, you have "Dr." in your name. For another, your feelings are in your own words, "incredibly strong." bothellbuyer above maybe meant well with her research, but I am looking for the strongest feelings that agree with me. Thank you for contributing to the conversation. I don't know who this "Rush Limbaugh" is. I only watch cartoons.

In reply to an earlier post on Sep 10, 2009 11:06:34 AM PDT

You are indeed a wise young man and you have a gift for the satiric and a Monty Pythonesque sense of humor! You have dissected the core of the forum in a few short blurbs. You *should* take up research, you have a knack for it.

However, you are obviously traumatized by bears and cannot comment because your trauma impedes your judgement. ;-)



In reply to an earlier post on Sep 10, 2009 11:14:16 AM PDT
It is a good thing to keep your mind pure and clean by watching only cartoons. Reality is a liberal plot, and you will be much better off if you ignore it.

In reply to an earlier post on Sep 10, 2009 11:17:16 AM PDT
Michael Wasson,

Dude, not sure what to do. I've heard rumors about you. Apparently you are full of facts and a reasonable attitude. That ain't gonna fly in my thread.

But as long as you stick to complimenting me and agreeing with me (thank you, you are very wise!), as well as making up stories to further reduce my accountability, you can stay. But you should check out my book, "I Know You Are, But What Am I?" It's tubular and will keep you from falling into old habits of using reason in the health forum.

Mr. Wasson, may I ask you, how many times were you attacked by bears in your lifetime?

In reply to an earlier post on Sep 10, 2009 11:25:16 AM PDT
A liberal plot sounds terrible. I don't like movies based on books. I failed liberalature in school :(

Posted on Sep 10, 2009 11:28:41 AM PDT
[Deleted by the author on Sep 11, 2009 8:15:44 AM PDT]

Posted on Sep 10, 2009 11:36:20 AM PDT
Last edited by the author on May 15, 2010 8:28:55 AM PDT
GW says:
I'm in a quandary here.
While I want Kyle to like me (I want you to join the Twinkie Temple over on Cooking) I know bothellbuyer is a highly qualified scientist with credentials from Harvard and advanced degrees from both Oxford AND Cambridge Universities. So I ALSO have to agree with her.

Am I allowed to straddle the fence?

Sorry, Dr. James, but not only do bears exist but I live with them as neighbors.
They are very large (mine is over 400 lbs.) and very hungry. And they enjoy a relaxing soak in a pool or Jacuzzi after a hard day's nap.

Why don't you fellas come on over to the Temple. We have goddesses in 'barely there' flowing gowns wandering around the pleasure gardens, and instuments of torture in the dungeon if you're into pain.

And Twinkies.........lot's & lot's of Twinkies

In reply to an earlier post on Sep 10, 2009 11:37:34 AM PDT
You are right, it is! Good job! You are smart cookie. Would you like to share your experience recovering from the trauma of bear attacks?

J., I looked up this word "troll" and the dictionary says it means "To fish for by trailing a baited line from behind a slowly moving boat" and I agree, there is no need for fishing on the computer. That is what lakes are for. That, and awesome waterskiing.

Also bro, not to be negative, but I think you spelled "Twitter" wrong. I twitter too! Do you want to follow me? All day long I share tidbits of my wisdom.

In reply to an earlier post on Sep 10, 2009 11:42:45 AM PDT
Last edited by the author on Sep 10, 2009 11:43:02 AM PDT
Oh is that what J. Wisdom was talking about? A Twinkie temple? Not Twitter? How embarrassing! LOL I hope you will still follow me on Twitter!

GW you are very polite and nice to me, but I'm sorry, fence straddling is not allowed. There is no room for grays/colors in thought, only black and white, right or wrong. bothellbuyer seems sweet, but did not use enough caps or accusations for me to buy her argument. So admit I am right, or I'll have to vote down your post :(

But since you have personal experience with bears, that is valuable to my thread. So okay, you may stay, but watch your opinions.

Are your bear neighbors nice? Do they contribute to the block party planning? And do they invite you to their jacuzzi?

In reply to an earlier post on Sep 10, 2009 11:47:25 AM PDT
"Mr. Wasson, may I ask you, how many times were you attacked by bears in your lifetime? "

I can't talk about it...its just too painful!

In reply to an earlier post on Sep 10, 2009 11:49:11 AM PDT
Last edited by the author on Sep 10, 2009 5:39:30 PM PDT
GW says:
J. Wisdom,

I KNOW a Troll when I see one, & Kyle is NO Troll.
He started his own thread & has not attacked or disrupted any of the legit threads.....have you Kyle?

You are a nice, serious person JW but there IS room for some good-natured silliness on any forum. Better that we have our own little place to express our silliness than to bother others on THEIR threads, verdad?

If it's not your cuppa tea, well there are a bunch of other choices out there.

BTW I would LOVE for Kyle to visit the Twinkieists. =]

In reply to an earlier post on Sep 10, 2009 11:58:23 AM PDT
Mr. Wasson! All the more reason why we need to ABOLISH bears from this planet! They pretend to be mammals, they pretend to exist, they clog up jacuzzi drains with their feathers, and NOW they are ruining the lives of good people such as yourself! We must stand as one against the bears!

Posted on Sep 10, 2009 11:59:41 AM PDT
Last edited by the author on Sep 10, 2009 12:03:08 PM PDT
GW says:
I DO apologize Master Kyle. Of course I agree with you TOTALLY. I was wrong to question your highly respectable credentials. I will disagree no more.

Back to our issue of BEAR HEALTH.
I don't believe the bears (mom & 2 cubs) are making wise or HEALTHY food choices.
They frequently picnic on the lawn in my back yard & they are leaving rib bones & ice cream cartons.

Not very HEALTHY HEALTHY HEALTHY HEALTHY (have I said it enuff for the HEALTH police?

In reply to an earlier post on Sep 10, 2009 12:00:53 PM PDT
GW thank you, your post is filled with wisdom and awesomeness. And you are right. I have never once gone fishing on the Internet except one time I bought myself a Billy Bass because those dudes are funny.

And GW (are you a bro or a broette?) I totally came by your temple, and I took my shoes off and everything! No worries, I use Dr. Scholl's Odor Eaters -- for the ladies.

In reply to an earlier post on Sep 10, 2009 12:06:22 PM PDT
GW, it is wonderful to see people such as yourself being molded right before my eyes into wisdom and gnarliness!

POLICE?!?!?! WHERE!!!! I'm keeping it on the DL from the fuzz; they gotta always be harassing me about my skateboard.

And I realize how wrong it is to judge parents I've never met, but that Mama Bear sounds totally like someone who should have her cubs ripped from her. Next time you see them, call CPT (Cub Protective Services). Those bears should be eating honey and bees like they do in the cartoons -- and saving the ribs and ice cream for ME LOLOLOLOL.

In reply to an earlier post on Sep 10, 2009 12:12:15 PM PDT
Last edited by the author on Sep 10, 2009 5:40:45 PM PDT
GW says:
I happen to be one of the many lovely, ladies of the Twinkie Temple. Inexperienced in the ways of love. We are mainly ladies but have a few manly men to help us with Temple 'duties' .....HEALTHY ones for sure.

We always welcome HEALTHY young lads to add to the congregation.
Come on over....I'm measuring the HEALTHY young lads for their warm & snuggy "Winter wear".

I'll have the Twinkeritas waiting for you at the

Posted on Sep 10, 2009 12:12:43 PM PDT
Nice observations; but it would have been more effective if you were correct about the answer to your "teaser question".
From below, I get the impression bears ARE mammals:

Feel free to discuss in my absence.

In reply to an earlier post on Sep 10, 2009 12:28:30 PM PDT
Dudette, that sounds schweet! I need some new pants for snowboarding!

In reply to an earlier post on Sep 10, 2009 12:31:13 PM PDT
Last edited by the author on Sep 10, 2009 12:31:57 PM PDT
Ahem. anyone there. On the one hand, it was awesome to find a new fantasy site with pretty pictures. Unfortunately, I could not find the entry for unicorns.

Anyhoo, I hate to tell you but I am the one who started this thread. Therefore, I am correct. That is how it works on the health forum. Soon I will get my sycophants in here to vote down your post and you will be very very sorry and realize you are very very wrong.

Besides the neato picture, your link brought a morsel of good -- I found out I too am like a "bear." -- flexible lips and a long, agile tongue! Am I right, ladies!

Posted on Sep 10, 2009 12:34:30 PM PDT
GW says:
I'm starting a new organization to protect the HEALTH of bears.
If they won't do it themselves we'll have to legislate HEALTH CARE for bears.

Posted on Sep 10, 2009 12:44:09 PM PDT
Kyle it's nice to meet you. I have been verbally berated by a health forum "expert" and now of course realize I was wrong to ever disagree with him. I don't want to relive that terrible experience, so I will agree with you. Bears are not mammals. They may or may not exist, and they definitely have feathers.

I'll start following you on Twitter in case you need me to form new opinions, depending on which way the wind blows through your head that particular hour. Holler back!
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Discussion in:  Health forum
Participants:  106
Total posts:  690
Initial post:  Sep 10, 2009
Latest post:  Dec 20, 2011

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