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Is anyone else tired of the graphic sex?

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Showing 1-25 of 179 posts in this discussion
Initial post: Mar 1, 2010 6:35:40 PM PST
[Deleted by Amazon on Jul 29, 2013 8:08:04 AM PDT]

Posted on Mar 1, 2010 7:00:54 PM PST
Pat Saxon says:
Look for romances tagged "Christian" or "sweet" -- typically no sex or "behind closed door" sex.

Posted on Mar 1, 2010 9:02:19 PM PST
smccoy says:
I have noticed that more authors are leaning more to erotic descriptions than they used to. I really can't stand it when the heroine has to "touch herself". The hero should be enough, that she shouldn't have to do it herself. I agree it is getting worse. I like a good love scene just like anyone else, but oh my goodness, they are getting pretty erotic when the author isn't an erotic author. Turns me off to certain authors when they write good stories and then add such erotic scenes and some are putting in vulgar language that just doesn't fit.

Posted on Mar 1, 2010 10:40:53 PM PST
Fay says:
Agree! I decided to "give up the graphics" for Lent. I went to the All About Romance website ( and did a power search to find romances with a grade of A+,A, or A- with sensuality levels of "kisses" or "subtle". I just finished "THE DEVIL'S DELILAH" by Loretta Chase - it was SOOOOO Good! (A- with sensuality of "kisses"). She writes so well that I was able to get that same romance "thrill" that I've mistakenly thought would not be available in a "kisses only" or "subtle" category. (and with humor like a Heyer novel)
So, Karen, I recommend you do a power search on Pick your genre and the level of sensuality that you prefer. Not all books have been reviewed, but you'll start to see that most authors stay within 1 or 2 sensuality levels.
For example, if you search "Regency" and "kisses" and "A", you'll get:
THE OTHER MR. DARCY by Monica Fairview
FARO'S DAUGHTER by Georgette Heyer
THE IDEAL BRIDE by Nonnie St. George
BELLE OF THE BALL by Donna Simpson
FRENCH LEAVE by Sheri Cobb Smith
PASSING FANCIES by Elizabeth Mansfield
A GRAND DESIGN by Emma Jensen
REGENCY STING by Elizabeth Mansfield
THE MAD MISS MATHLEY by Michelle Martin
MISS MILTON SPEAKS HER MIND by Carla Kelly got an "A+".
I really wish romance books has a sensuality rating printed somewhere on the cover. That way, there would be fewer surprises. I think those that like "hotter" books might also appreciate that. It still wouldn't cover the details, such as those like S.Mccoy mentioned, but it would be a start.

Posted on Mar 1, 2010 11:52:18 PM PST
Kit says:

No, I don't think we need to know how many fingers (I'm sure I don't even WANT to know that kind of thing!!! ^_~), and yes, it does seem that sometimes there is hardly any story, just sex. (I try not to read those ones. Maybe a page or two by accident, occasionally, but otherwise I tend to avoid them.)

S. Mccoy,

And yes, sometimes there IS a good story and then the author ruins it with explicit sex scenes...grrrrr...okay, I realize that for SOME readers that's a plus instead of a minus...but...still...


Yes, a "sensuality rating" would DEFINITELY be a big help (fewer unpleasant "surprises" for those of us who like things not QUITE THAT hot, AND, as you say, it would probably be a helpful key/clue for those who DO like it hotter too!).


I prefer old books (not just old-fashioned, but GENUINELY old) books which TODAY would get called "Christian" or "sweet" but which in THEIR day (half a century ago, and earlier) would've been just considered normal romance books that didn't happen to be sex books. (In the 1940's there were even Harlequin books that were innocent and sweet. ^_^ Well, there still may be, today, but they would not be plain regular Harlequin any more, they would be a special subset.) (Anyway, I think that today's authors *deliberately trying* to be "Christian" and/or "sweet" can sometimes come across as self-conscious and/or excessively moralistic. Longer ago, more of the [genuinely] sweet romances seemed more natural [ah...the good old days...and I'm not even old...I guess I'm just weird! ^_~].)

Kit ^_^

Posted on Mar 2, 2010 12:36:55 AM PST
Sissy says:
I'm sick and tired of authors, contemporary and historical, padding what could be a good story with pages and pages of explicit sex. Close the door for goodness sake.

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 2, 2010 12:44:41 AM PST
Last edited by the author on Mar 2, 2010 12:55:18 AM PST
Kit says:

Exactly. (Hear, hear.) (Glad other people feel the same way.) (In some books, a page or two once in a while of...I don't know, less-explicit bedroom scenes...could be okay. *Pages and pages*, no thanks...even of the less-explicit stuff, I think more than *a page or so here and there* can be too much!)

(Edit...and, yes, if their publishers told them, "Okay, we need more pages in this book, and make darn sure that some of those pages are sexual/sex-filled!" [Again, I try not to even read that type of book, if I can help it. However, to *completely* avoid it would be difficult, unless one avoided it by just plain never reading romances at all. One reason why I rarely use the term "romance", regarding books that are actually just plain good love stories, is that too often these days (including the past couple of decades) a "romance" tends to mean a book where the characters fall in lust and have sex. I would rather see them fall in love and get married. Or even just fall in love and have an interesting adventure together (no, NOT a sexual "adventure"!!!)...even if they might not be *permanently* in love in some books (like in the original James Bond books where apparently he is "in love" with a different girl in every book...but you could *imagine* it was a true love story in the first one, Dr. No, if you didn't know about [or decided to ignore] the sequels!) that's better than, oh, to "prove" their love they have to have sex, or at least foreplay, whatever the "required" number of times is in some types of books these days!])

(Luckily, there are still SOME romance books published [even these days!] where apparently having sex [in front of us] is not a requirement. That's why I said "some types of books"...and again, I usually don't even read those types of books, but I have stumbled across enough by accident that I understand what you're talking about!)

Posted on Mar 2, 2010 4:19:38 AM PST
Story is a lot more important than sex scenes. In most instances I find them unnecessary. For a clean read, have a look at the reviews for The Pirate And The Puritan by Mary Clayton. (Yes, me!)

Posted on Mar 2, 2010 4:47:23 AM PST
Last edited by the author on Mar 2, 2010 5:56:58 AM PST
KindleFan says:
We are fortunate that there is a vast number of romances available that span the range of sensuality. I appreciate the fact that no matter what mood I am in, whether it be light and humorous with little/no sensuality or dark, intense sexuality, I can always find something that satisfies. Luckily there are lists such as that was mentioned where a reader can find/avoid books with themes they don't enjoy. I have also found these forums a huge help in weeding out books that I would not care to read and to pick the brains of like-minded readers. For me, variety is what keeps me coming back to the romance genre.

Posted on Mar 2, 2010 6:38:13 AM PST
Haley says:
I just read "where the wind blows" by Caroline Fyffe and though it has a sex scene towards the end of the book it was mild. No details of how many fingers or details of their body parts. The book was very sweet, I loved it.
Happy reading,

Posted on Mar 2, 2010 7:30:17 AM PST
I do not care for sex in a romance book, that is private and should be left to the imagination of each individual. These sex oriented books add to the immoral behavior of todays society. A good story line with a happy ending is great. As for the religious writters, too often they condemn a person to hell. They become too self righteous.
Can anyone tell me how to rate a book as to the exclusion of sex? What is BC and LOL?

Posted on Mar 2, 2010 11:20:32 AM PST
I like sex scenes in books. But only if they are done well and central to the plot.

I have to admit that there have been more than a few books where the H/H are jumping on each other EVERY chapter and it drives me nuts, I want them to get on with the romance.

Posted on Mar 2, 2010 11:33:26 AM PST
Authors would not be writing books with very hot sex scenes if they did not sell. Interestingly enough, one of the rising stars of the romance industry was told by another New York Times bestselling author recently that if she did not "spice" up her books a bit, her sales would suffer. They have.

If you want to avoid the more sensual books, try inspirational romance or "sweet". Harlequin still sells them.

Posted on Mar 2, 2010 11:34:40 AM PST
No, I don't mind graphic sex scenes... just as long as it isn't erotica graphic. What I have a problem with is authors spending more time developing sex scenes than the actual storylines. Make it obvious that your characters have more than sex in common.

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 2, 2010 11:53:33 AM PST
Doreen says:
I agree with innocencebereft. I like them:) but they must enhance a good story.

Using the "look inside" feature on Amazon can be a very helpful tool in sampling an author's style.

Posted on Mar 2, 2010 12:25:49 PM PST
Noelle says:
I like the graphic sex scenes in the books, and tend to be disappointed if the author leaves them out. I also agree with innocencebereft and Doreen, the actual relationship between the characters is the most important.

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 2, 2010 12:28:36 PM PST
Last edited by the author on Mar 9, 2010 12:13:30 PM PST
Karen V. Wasylowski,
Since you are actively seeking clean or non graphic romance recommendations, I would like to suggest all my titles because they do not contain any graphic sex scenes at all.

The Haunted Hillerman House is a historical/contemporary romance with a cozy mystery feel.
~Secret messages. Family Secrets. A Halloween night trip to the family crypt.~
WARNING: Readers do not be tricked by the title of this book. It is not your typical horror story, it is one with a hook. A complicated telling of love and romance, that led to murder from just one dance.
(This book is available on Kindle and in paperback.)

Her Knight With a Shining Star is a historical western romance based around actual events that led to the establishment of Labor Day as a national holiday.
~U.S. Marshal arrived in town on business, but stayed for pleasure. And for the mere promise a kiss from the beautiful Renee McCoy, he vows to hunt down her father's murderer and bring him in. Dead or alive.~
(This book is currently available on Kindle only. To be released in paperback soon.)

I also have Forever David's and Develyn's Tale which are the first two books of three of a dramatic vampire romance with Victorian era British vampires and a contemporary Amercian woman.
~Twin brothers. Both vampires. One good. One evil. One woman. . .~
(These books are available on Kindle and in paperback.)

There are several reviews for all these titles on Amazon, but for more information, trivia, and photos on all these titles and/or to read excerpts and view the book trailer for the vampire romances, please visit the website listed below my profile photo or go directly to triple w baileysbooksonline dot net.

Thank you for your consideration.

Happy reading!


P.S. Edited to Add: Karen, perhaps I missed it, but I haven't seen you comment since the orginal post seeking recommendation. I notice that my post (recommendations) to your inquiry has been voted against, so if YOU didn't find my post helpful and would like for me to remove it, I'd gladly do so.

Posted on Mar 2, 2010 1:04:19 PM PST
I like sex in a book but not when it sounds like the author has never had sex! Some are ridiculous...and impossible! :O

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 2, 2010 1:27:23 PM PST
Sissy says:
Re: J.R. Benjamin's post: I have read really good contemporary romances where by the end of the book, I realize there was no show and tell. They were not sweet nor inspirational but the author led the reader to think it was regular romance novels. I don't recall the authors or the books right off, but the authors usually do write show and tell, just once in a while we're closed out of the scene.

Posted on Mar 2, 2010 1:42:29 PM PST
CJ says:
Frankly NO! But I will qualify this by saying 'if it's well done and fits the story and is not relentless'. I don't need loads of sex in a good romance and sometimes only one great scene is enough but I do like it included. Very important it fits and is reasonably realistic. I HATE Stephanie Laurens books where they are at it like rabbits in all sorts of odd places at regular intervals throughout the book regardless of plot and the morals of well-bred young women of the era. I haven't read any of her books for aeons but I remember scenes in laundry cupboards, in alcoves at a ball (?), in barns, sheds and on tables and desks. Plus if they go on for pages and pages - erlack - no thanks. But a well written sex scene by for e.g. Mary Balogh or Patricia Gaffney or Loretta Chase and it really enhances the emotion for me.

Posted on Mar 2, 2010 2:33:09 PM PST
I agree with CJ, I like a sex scene IF (and seriously, this is a huge IF) it's done well.

If the author can't do it well, they should get it over with quickly or leave it behind closed doors. Also, I think one or two lovescenes is good, I wont name names, but I tried reading a medieval last month where the H/H were getting horizontal every ten minutes, worse, the hero's pillow talk was laughably phone sex'ish. I had to compare it to deliciously naughty things Rejar said and it was depressing.

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 2, 2010 6:33:44 PM PST
Kit says:

That was a nice, brief, polite form of promoting your own book. Thanks for being more pleasant than the average self-promoter (self-promoting isn't necessarily wrong if it's done politely and nicely! ^_^).

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 2, 2010 6:40:37 PM PST
Kit says:

I agree that sex should (ideally) be left to the imagination of each individual. While I think that was also the general consensus of most readers and most writers several decades ago, the current trend tends to be in the other direction (show and tell as much as possible?). I am not, personally, especially opposed to the existence of sexual books, as long as I don't have to read them (but I am guessing that I am probably younger than you) (books that I find excessively sexual have been around at least as long as I have, so I'm used to the existence of them). I think that perhaps things like how much sex to read/write about should be considered primarily a matter of individual taste. Some of us prefer that sex be left to the imagination of the individual...then again, perhaps the amount of sex in a book should be determined by the *personal preferences of the individual writer* (not just by popular demand) and what to read should be *up to the individual reader*. My choice or yours might be too "tame" for some people these days! ^_~

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 2, 2010 6:48:28 PM PST
Kit says:
D. Wegner,

Exactly, they should get on with the *romance*, which is not just the sex. (Unfortunately, these days "sex" and "romance" seem to have become synonymous to some people. As I said before, that's one reason why I often try to avoid using the term "romance", since unfortunately it seems to often imply a lot of things which I don't consider very romantic!) (Sex scenes which are "done well and central to the plot", as you put it, are okay. I don't absolutely NEED them in a book, personally, but I will not automatically reject them, or automatically reject a book because of them. I don't usually get bored, annoyed, etc. by a sex scene which actually *has a purpose relevant to the book*!) (Some sex scenes can sometimes be enjoyable to read, even for those of us who have no read about sex in general...if it's really a genuine part of the book, even the more "innocent" readers will usually not be offended...and some other readers will, of course, be delighted to find that the book contains sex scenes instead of leaving them out. So, genuinely well-written sex scenes can please almost everybody at the same time.)

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 2, 2010 7:08:37 PM PST
Last edited by the author on Mar 2, 2010 7:18:04 PM PST
Kit says:

I think maybe some authors have fun imagining all the places around a long-ago manor house, palace, etc. where sexual encounters might be had (and it's not necessarily TOO out of place IF they are not pretending that characters who are otherwise always presented as well-bred, well-brought-up young ladies of their era are the ones most likely to be engaging in that sort of behavior! ^_~). The *occasional* laundry cupboard or haystack etc. can be appealing to read about (and surely SOME people were doing some odd things long ago too!), but not ALL the time...there can be too much of that kind of thing pretty quickly. (In particular, I do not want to read that "of course" our medieval or Renaissance or Victorian [or whatever long-ago era] heroine had "done plenty of experimenting in haystacks" etc. If she has done that sort of thing, then it is not "of course" and she may be kind of the "bad girl" of the family, and her parents and grandparents would be appalled if they knew...and it should be presented like that...instead of being presented as, oh, *of course* she had done these things, just like everyone [which makes me wonder if the writer is even bothering to pay attention to which era she is writing about!] [again, yes, presumably SOME people did behave like that, but *not* practically everyone!].)

(By the way, there are a few genuinely old books [Tom Jones being possibly the most famous example] where people are doing god-only-knows-what god-only-knows-where. And it isn't presented as "normal" etc. It's presented as entertaining to read about, but inappropriate behavior, which the characters are engaging in because they are the type of people who throw caution to the winds and ignore most of the moral principles of their era. It can be written about in a mischievous way instead of a preachy way, but the idea is, wow, what a "bad boy" or wow, what a "bad girl" and that's partly what makes him/her such fun to read about and write about. Modern authors [writing historical romances] could do a modern [pretend-long-ago] version of the same thing. Presenting a character as...without being exactly the town whore...being not exactly the most well-bred young lady or young gentleman around, and engaging in all sorts of fun-but-not-exactly-appropriate-according-to-most-people-of-the-time kinds of behavior, THAT'S suitable, and fun to read/write about. ^_^ Trying to make the most-well-brought-up young girl in the story act [sexually] exactly the same as her badly-brought-up neighbors...that's just silly and boring. Not to mention, unrealistic...then again, apparently that wouldn't be very important to some people. ^_~)
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Discussion in:  Historical Romance forum
Participants:  56
Total posts:  179
Initial post:  Mar 1, 2010
Latest post:  May 3, 2010

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