I know...I know...trying to single out the MOST ridiculous conspiracy theory is akin to singling out which Kardashian has the least talent, but it might be fun to hear some of the conspiracy theories we have come across in our research. Just to get the ball rolling let me list five of the wildest, most irresponsible, and outlandish conspiracy theories I have come across in my thirty-five years of studing and correspondence with conspiracy cultists.
1. John F. Kennedy's body was stolen from the casket, secretly whisked away to an unknown location, where a team of unknown, unnamed, unidentified conspiring doctors surgically altered Kennedy's head to give the appearance of rear entrance wounds and frontal exit wounds while at the same time replacing damaged bone, tissue and skin to make it appear that no shot blew out the back of the president's head. All of this was done to a DEAD body, yet a team of three highly trained forensic pathologists didn't recognize post-mortem wounds when compared to ante-mortem wounds. Hmmm.... Thank you David Lifton for years of entertainment with this one.
2. An assassin was located either behind the concrete retaining wall (Black Dog man in the Willis slide) or behind the stockade fence (Badge Man in the Moorman photograph)--it is unclear when reading various conspiracy books who they believe fired the fatal head shot--but it doesn't matter, there an equal amount of supporting evidence for either claim--none. Of course the only way anyone can see a gunman in the Moorman photograph is when Jack White takes a set of colored pens and colors in the outline, face, badge, muzzle flash, hairline, and eyes.) For any objective observer that looks at the original Moorman photograph all they see are shadows made up light and dark tones. The fact that Badge Man is only visible when they are drawn in using cartoon animation reveals a great deal about this particular claim. Thanks go out to Jack White and Gary Mack for this hoot-fest.
3. The claim that CE 399 was intentionally planted on a stretcher (some say by Jack Ruby) in Parkland Hospital following the assassination in an attempt to frame Oswald for a murder he didn't commit. Of course the number of coincidences that had to fall into place for this theory to have ANY veracity is mind-boggling--let alone the logical implausibility of such a scheme. To illustrate...
a. At the time of the alleged planting, the conspirators would have to know that the REAL bullet (or bullets) would be recovered--either from the limousine or from Kennedy or Connally's body, at which time the bullets would subsequently be examined and found to have NOT been fired from Oswald's rifle--thus exposing the planted bullet as being fake.
unless of course...
b. The conspirators actually fired Oswald's rifle to commit the crimes, in which case, what was the purpose of planting a bogus bullet if the REAL bullets would have matched Oswald's Mannlicher-Carcano to begin with?
c. Some conspiracy cultists claim that the doctors were IN on the conspiracy to murder Kennedy and they disposed of the REAL bullets when located. But of course this claim falls apart when one remembers that many doctors claimed to see a back of head exit wound and Malcolm Perry initially said that the throat wound was one of entrance. Wouldn't such public announcement go AGAINST the plot they were allegedly a part of and after such announcements wouldn't the invisible conspiracy hit squad that so many cultists believes exist have to then murder these doctors for revealing the conspiracy truth? But of course no doctors that worked on Kennedy ever died under mysterious conditions.
Therefore no matter how you slice it the planted-bullet is entirely implausible, illogical, and downright simple-minded.
4. The theory that there were TWO individuals involved in the assassination conspiracy--one named Lee Harvey and the other named Lee Oswald (I think.) The amount of mental gymnastics required to follow John Armstrong's fictional labrinth of multiple Oswalds qualifies one for the Olympic gymnastics team. But if the simplest plots and the simplest plans generally are the most successful then this one has NO chance of being accurate. So many of the claims in Armstrong's book are based on hearsay, twenty-five year-old recollections, and misquoted or ignored evidence that it really doean't warrant a serious rebuttal and generally only the nuttiest of the nutty embrace his allegations. Needless to say, Armstrong's work did not even make a whimper among real historians and recognized scholars--most have never even heard or him or his theory.
5. That Lee Oswald is still alive and well today. Conspiracy cultist John Judge claims to have met "Lee Harvey Oswald" in Iowa several years ago. He seems to have been the only American in the past 49 years to ever run into the real Oswald however--needless to say---sane investigators ignore Judge's allegations.
6. That the James Altgens photograph showing Kennedy moments after the second bullet struck him and Governor Connally and which also shows Billy Lovelady looking out the doorway of the TSBD (known as Altgens5) was somehow stolen and altered to hide the identity of Lee Oswald (who this theory claims was standing in the doorway all along.) It does not need to be pointed out that no serious researcher believes this 49 year-old allegation. Besides the fact that Oswald NEVER once said it was him in the doorway and the fact that Billy Lovelady (and several coworkers) DID identify the man as Lovelady, there was simply no time to carry out the intricate (and comical) photographic claims of the proponents of this wacky theory. Of course NO photographic experts have jumped on board with this theory. The Rogues Gallery of supporters for this crackpot claim include: a chiropractor, a retired philosophy teacher, a former history professor, a heart surgeon and healthfood guru, a former Bank of America computer systems analysist, fromer balistics expert in the Navy, a firearms and karate instructor, and the author of a pro-conspiracy book accusing Lyndon Johnson of complicity in the assassination. Not one photographic expert--yet the heart of this theory IS photographic alteration. It would seem to rational researchers that if the allegations of photographic alterations were legitimate then recognized, trained, photographic experts would be able to verify the charges. Apparently this theory has had a VERY hard time mustering support from those that actually know what they are talking about.
So what about YOU? What is the nuttiest theory you've ever come across? I know there are many more (Ruby and Oswald were gay lovers, Oswald was Ruby's illegitimate son, Kennedy is still alive in Parkland Hospital and is visited regularly by friends and well wishers...)
Share your favorite and lets have a chuckle.
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