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Customer Discussions > Humor forum

This humor forum is like a morgue...

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Showing 1-24 of 24 posts in this discussion
Initial post: Mar 16, 2012 9:22:36 AM PDT
The other forums (which seem to be infested with grammar-deficient, zombie-obsessed teenagers) are a whole lot more fun than the sombre crowd in here. Oh, goodie, I have a funeral to go to - anything's better than this place. Humor forum? Whatever.

Posted on Apr 15, 2012 8:26:33 AM PDT
ROcK~N~Rolla says:
Besides munching brains, Zombies also enjoy eating Funny Bones...That's why they're so Humerus. [Loud groan from audience]

I don't get no respect!

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 17, 2012 10:22:29 PM PDT
In all seriousness, your reply made me chuckle. That was actually pretty funny as a reply to a thread!

Posted on Apr 28, 2012 3:42:07 AM PDT
Edwin Stark says:
yes, it is ;P

Posted on May 15, 2012 11:28:25 AM PDT
[Deleted by the author on May 21, 2012 11:31:56 AM PDT]

Posted on May 21, 2012 9:15:40 AM PDT
I would submit the reason is because there are few things as unfunny as discussions of humor.

Posted on Jun 5, 2012 8:02:09 PM PDT
E. ONeill says:
Bitching about it sure seemed to help though. Good work, Johnny! :D

Posted on Jun 6, 2012 10:09:07 AM PDT
Bookgirl says:
The reason it's so dull here is everyone is on the political forums being nasty, abrasive, etc.
Seems like a sign of the times.....very sad.

Posted on Jun 6, 2012 1:59:09 PM PDT
CampbellCabs says:
Guys, come on over to my place for some good old Irish Craic!

In reply to an earlier post on Jun 7, 2012 9:05:07 AM PDT
Swedey says:
Much of that will pass after the elections.

Posted on Jun 7, 2012 12:25:14 PM PDT
Perhaps, like many things, it is because this place is so well hidden!

Posted on Jun 9, 2012 5:04:50 AM PDT
There are less cobwebs in my living room than there are in this forum.

Why don't you all just post and chat?

Even - and I know it's a long shot - crack a few gags?

Posted on Jun 9, 2012 11:49:37 PM PDT
Okay, I'll bite!

Q. What's blue and doesn't fit?

A. A dead epileptic...

Oi! No need to throw things!

In reply to an earlier post on Jun 10, 2012 2:29:45 AM PDT
CampbellCabs says:
When I heard that there was a cure for my dyslexia, it was like music to my arse :-)
Daily gags at my funny status page guys! Mon over for the craic!

Posted on Jun 12, 2012 6:32:30 AM PDT
OK, a morgue.

So, who's first witht he dead baby jokes?

Posted on Jun 20, 2012 9:43:14 PM PDT
Humor is a difficult category - and it doesn't help that the lead book cover for Amazon's Humor listing is G.R. Martin , not as specific like a genre - occult paranormal dental hygienists nor as trendy as 50 Shades of Cash or any other noun or adjective. Tougher than humor is satire but here's a wonderful, biting attack on Big Poultry and the fast-food culture that scarfs Buffalo Wings with nary a thought as to where they originated. Big Chicken

Posted on Jun 21, 2012 9:43:55 AM PDT
You need this..... it'll wake you up. no doubt about it!

The Art of Fart: The Joy of Flatulence!

In reply to an earlier post on Jun 22, 2012 2:16:34 AM PDT
The Card Killer (Detective NAPA - the Native American psychic agent)

I hope the funeral was fun. Assuming it wasn't yours, why not read the above to brighten your day - it's free for one day only - June 22nd 2012.
It's almost as much fun as a funeral.

Posted on Jun 22, 2012 2:48:16 AM PDT
Ku says:
Once upon a time there were two corpses in a morgue.

One said to the other:

And the other replied:

Posted on Jul 8, 2012 6:04:19 AM PDT
Last edited by the author on Jul 8, 2012 6:11:39 AM PDT
Well Johnny "Occupy" (so you're one of those losers, huh) ask and you shall receive. It's like a morgue here? You are absolutely correct:

An excerpt from The Simpletons - A Study in the Politics of Rock and Roll (Deville, the lead singer of the Simpletons, told his band he got a gig at a "Death Metal" place and they just arrived.)

Deville reached the back door and noticed a sign below the gargoyle knocker. The sign read:


Not wanting to take any chances, Deville knocked once. The echo from the knock reverberated for what seemed like ten minutes. It sounded as if there was a long tunnel behind that door, but he couldn't be sure. After a long wait and no answer, he thought he would chance it and knock again, hoping that he wouldn't combust. Luckily, before he got a chance to test his theory the door slowly opened. The creeks from the door startled the bats that were roosting just under the archway. A tall, pale, thin man emerged from behind the door. He was wearing a black tuxedo with tails and a stovepipe hat. Apparently he wasn't aware that the stovepipe hat had not been in style for a century or so, but he liked the look. He spoke slowly and deliberately. "Yes, may I be of assistance?"
"DUDE! You must be Monty. I'm Deville," Deville said offering a handshake. "I talked to you from a pay phone the other day."
"Ah yes. And you are with the Singletons?"
"Whatever." Monty pulled a pocket watch from his tuxedo and looked at it as he rubbed his thumb across the face. "You are late, however I suspected as much. So you are aware of the situation this evening, I assume?"
"Yeah, some dude croaked."
"Passed on."
"Whatever. And his last request was to have a band play at his funeral to kinda lighten the mood. And that's where me and my most precious dudes over there come in."
Monty put the watch back in his pocket. "Of course. Well, come along then. Time is of the essence."
Monty waited impatiently by the door while Deville rounded up the troops. After they traversed the bog, they proceeded to follow Monty through the back door and down the dark, dank, clammy, musty, foul, reeking, gloomy; well, this tunnel was gross. The end of the tunnel opened up into another room. The sign above the entrance read:


They entered the last exit and Trix set his guitar case down and looked around. The room was dark, but he could vaguely see wooden caskets lined up against the walls. One wall had a metal door halfway open and he could see flames raging in what looked like a furnace. Trix shook his head in disbelief, his mouth agape in wonder. "Cool, man. You guys really went all out on the decorating. I mean the caskets are a nice touch."
Cliché sneaked over to one of the caskets leaning in a corner and peeked inside. "Yo, dudes, it looks like this dude just kicked the bucket. He's deader'n a door nail, dudes!"

Posted on Jul 8, 2012 6:32:07 AM PDT
I've Been Deader

Humour in a morgue.

Well, with zombie, anyway.
And no, it isn't mine.

Posted on Jul 8, 2012 6:19:21 PM PDT
Splinker says:
Like the king says, comedy is not pretty.

Posted on Jul 8, 2012 7:11:44 PM PDT
When you encounter a group of starving Somali refugees, how do you spot the rich one?
He's the guy with the gold Rolex around his waist.

Posted on Jul 10, 2012 5:25:23 AM PDT
That one actually did make me laugh out loud (or lol for you whipper snappers)

btw - If you don't know what a whipper snapper is - you are a whipper snapper.
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Discussion in:  Humor forum
Participants:  18
Total posts:  24
Initial post:  Mar 16, 2012
Latest post:  Jul 10, 2012

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